Come One, Come All to This Tragic Affair

The “thing I forgot at the gallery”?
My balls.
“What the hell do I do Charlie?” I was nearly in the fetal position hyperventilating.
“I’m pretty sure you don’t need a demonstration Jadey. You’ve done it before.”
Today was the day.
I was gonna sleep with Frank.
I thought I was ready for it finally, but I lost my nerve and pretended I needed to get something from the gallery so I could grow some balls.
“I don’t know how to go about telling him its okay. Should I just strip and lie on the bed and say, “have at it?”
“Jaden Sofia Peretta, calm down.” Charlie rubbed my back soothingly. “That boy wants you so much lust is practically shooting out his eyeballs. Just tell him its okay to go farther and let it go from there.”
I took a deep breath. I could do this.
“You are the sexiest bitch on the planet. Go rock his world.” Charlie said.
“I can do this.” I stood up.
“Go get em champ.”
“I better go now before I lose my nerve again.” I nearly sprinted back to the apartment building.
I had to wait until my breathing calmed down before I opened Frank’s door.
“Hey.” He grinned and my heart melted a little more. I loved that little boy grin of his.
He was sitting on the couch, and emboldened by my little pep talk with Charlie, I went for putting my knees on either side of his hips and straddling him.
Kissing Frank was like mainlining heroin, like every kind of ecstasy you could imagine.
I started working him out of his shirt and he got mine off pretty fast. He flipped us over so he was on top of me and kissed my exposed belly.
I toed off my shoes and they fell off the couch with twin thunks. My bra took flight next.
Now this is usually about where the clothing removal stopped.
He wasn’t expecting me to unbuckle his belt and start going for his jeans button. He stopped kissing me and pulled away.
“Are you sure?” He asked, breathing hard. I could see how badly he wanted me shining in his eyes, how turned on he was. And he was stopping to make sure I was okay.
I just nodded and pulled him back to me. He lifted me into his arms and carried me over to his bed, digging in his nightstand for something before putting that something on the pillow next to my head and going back to kissing me.
It quickly became a race to see who could get the other out of their jeans first.
He won, simply because I had basically no practice in the art. I thanked the lingerie gods that I’d worn my favorite silk panties today and not my holey granny panties.
We lay skin to skin and he lit every nerve ending in my body on fire.
I admit it, I screamed a lot.
More than a lot.
My throat really hurt afterwards when I was lying in his arms. My head was resting on his chest and I could hear the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. I had a feeling in the morning I’d be sore and that I needed a shower badly.
But I didn’t care, not as long as he was stroking long paths down my bare back. I made a soft noise of contentment and snuggled in closer to him.
There’s no where I’d rather be right now than wrapped in Frank’s tattooed arms.
“Jadey?” He murmured into my hair.
“Mmm?” I lifted my head to look up at him.
“I love you.”
My heart stopped beating.
“Wha-what?” I stammered.
“I love you.” He waited for me to say something.
I could barely think over the roaring in my head. I scrambled up, grabbing my scattered clothing and high tailing it out of there.
I locked the door, although it wouldn’t do much to stop Frank if he really wanted to talk to me.
I leaned against the door and caught my breath for a few minutes.
A plan formulated in my head and once I had a direction, I could function.
I took a shower first and washed the smell of Frank off me, covered it with citrus body wash.
But I could still feel his lips on my skin, his hands gripping my hips.
I steeled my resolve and grabbed my cell phone and keys before running down the fire escape and down onto the street.
According to the clock on my phone, it was a little after one in the morning. I knew better than to go to Charlie’s: she had been on a date with Gee tonight.
The gallery had a couch in the back room but I was too restless to sleep.
So I took a left on 95th instead of a right, walked three buildings down and went in.
The candles burned inside, giving the crucifix on the altar a soft glow. I crossed myself out of habit and sat on a pew. I could see an image of Our Lady of Sorrows on the wall opposite me and all it did was remind me of Frank's tattoo. I shifted slightly away from it so I wasn't looking at it.
I watched the sun rise from my spot on that same pew and was still there when a priest came in.
“Good morning.” He said, surprised to see me sitting there.
“Good morning Father.” I managed a smile.
“Have you been here all night?”
“Yes. I’ve, uh….needed some guidance.” I said finally.
“Would you like to wait for one of the other priests to go into the confession box?” The priest looked at me with pity. Before I could answer, he disappeared through a door. A few moments later, he came back. “You can go in now.”
So I took my spot on my knees in the confessional. “Father?”
“I’m here.” The priest said.
“I…don’t know if I sinned. I really just need someone to listen.”
“I’m all ears child.”
So I told him everything. Losing Danny, meeting Frank, dating Frank and finally sleeping with Frank. I felt better to get this all off my chest. “I really don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m betraying Danny by being with Frank. But if I’m not with Frank, I’ll be betraying myself.”
“Child, I can’t tell you what to do. Only you can know what’s best for you. However, its not a sin to love.” I was quiet for a long moment.
“Thank you Father.” I went back to my pew and thought for a long time.
I turned my phone back on to see what time it was and saw a total of 14 missed calls, twelve text messages and 10 voicemails.
All from Frank.
I closed my phone and rested my chin on my hands.
“Any ideas?” I asked the crucifix.