Come One, Come All to This Tragic Affair

Spending the weekend at my parents’ house, despite their idea of a proper Italian widow, helped clear my head enough to realize I wasn’t doing myself any favors by pushing Frank away.
For the first time since Danny died, someone’s actually inspired an emotion in me.
I hadn’t decided anything until I’d gone to visit Danny.
I pulled my coat tighter around me and sat on the stone bench in front of his grave.
“Hi baby.” I whispered. The fresh flowers I’d brought him stood out in stark relief to the grave stone.
Daniel Han
Beloved brother, son and husband
It’s always darkest before the dawn
1981-2005
“I miss you.” I came here just about every week to talk to his grave. I know it’s crazy to do it, but I do it anyway. I’ve never told him about Frank though.
At least, not until today.
“Baby, I need to tell you something. I…met someone. His name is Frank. He lives across the hall from me and he’s been sort of, taking care of me. I know he likes me and I think I like him too. I just…feel like I’m betraying you. It’s only been a year and I don’t think anyone can take your place. There’s just something about him. I need a sign Danny. Tell me that what I’m thinking is okay, and that this isn’t gonna hurt you.”
A breeze blew my hair across my face gently and I closed my eyes.
Maybe I’m crazy or desperate, but I think that was a sign.
I was hoping Frank would show up at the gallery opening that night with Gerard. I hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to him since we kissed.
And for once my wish was granted.
He looked damn good in a suit, although you could see the society women giving him dirty looks.
I didn’t care.
And at the end of the night when he was holding me, I felt like my heart had started to beat again.
--
I woke up exactly one minute before my alarm was supposed to ring. I turned it off and wandered into my kitchen to make a cup of coffee. Someone knocked on the door just as I was putting the grounds in the machine.
I glanced down at myself to see what I was wearing. I was wearing my Snoopy and Woodstock shirt with a pair of striped shorts.
They were acceptable I guess, so I opened the door.
I quickly wished I’d found longer pants when I saw Frank standing on the other side.
“Morning sunshine.” He grinned. I knew I had bedhead and probably morning breath on top of pillow wrinkles.
“Morning.” I ran one hand through my hair nervously. I feel like a teenager again.
“I was wondering if you wanted to have breakfast with me.”
“Sure, just let me shower and get some clothes on.” I opened the door wider so he could come in. “Make yourself at home.” I left him on the couch and took the fastest shower of my life.
It wasn’t until I had finished my hair that I realized the clothes I wanted to wear were in a basket in my living room and I’d have to go out of the bathroom to get them.
In a towel.
With my I’m-not-quite-sure-we’re-dating-boyfriend sitting on the couch.
Grow some balls and go get your clothes woman.
So I wrapped a towel around me securely and stepped out of my bathroom.
“I like your outfit.” Frank piped up from the couch.
“Eyes to yourself pervert.” I muttered, bending over to get my clothes. I heard him groan softly.
“You’re trying to kill me aren’t you Peretta.” I just closed the door behind me and pulled my clothes on.
I had work today so I was wearing an orange blouse that tied at the waist, dark jeans, a blazer and my trusty black flats.
“I kinda liked your first outfit better.” Frank stood up when I came out of the bathroom. I just rolled my eyes and led the way out of the apartment building.
My favorite part about New York City is that you can walk out of the house and find a Starbucks.
We sat in two squishy armchairs near the window and watched people pass by on their way to work. He was sitting cross-legged like we used to in kindergarten and he looked so damn adorable.
“So what do you do for a living?” I asked, pulling my legs up onto the chair.
“I play guitar in a band called My Chemical Romance. Gerard’s the singer actually.” Frank took a sip of his coffee.
We sat in a comfortable silence for a while until something occurred to me. “What are we?”
“What?” It was a weird question and I didn’t blame him for being confused.
“Are we dating or are we boyfriend and girlfriend or are we some strange breed?”
“I’m not gonna push you Jaden. If you just want to take things slow, that’s fine with me. If you wanted to go back to my apartment and sleep with me right now, that would be fine too.” I couldn’t help but laugh.
“The only way I really know how to go about having a relationship with someone is starting slow. You’re gonna get fed up with me.”
“I’m pretty sure you’re worth it.” I blushed and looked down.
I had to go to work so we got up and started walking down on the block. I slid my hand into his and he laced our fingers together.
I’m not used to feeling like this.
Holding someone’s hand, feeling like I belong somewhere.
It’s a foreign idea to me now.
I wouldn’t trade my time with Danny for anything, but Frank is…different than Danny.
Danny was safe, dependable, level-headed. He might sound boring but he had a sense of humor that would leave you in stitches.
Frank has this dangerous edge to him, a spontaneity I’m not sure how to deal with. Not to mention he’s devastatingly good looking.
“I’ll call you later.” I said, squeezing his hand. I was about to let go when he spun me into him.
I liked the feeling of his arms wrapped around me. It made me feel small and safe.
He kissed the top of my head gently.
“Okay, now you can go.” Frank let go and we went our separate ways.
“Charlie?” I called.
“Hey Jadey.” Charlie had a serious hickey on her neck and knowing the look in her eyes, I’d say Gerard got laid last night.
“Guess Gerard’s happy now.” I laughed.
“You look pretty ecstatic yourself. What happened last night? You vanished for like an hour.”
“I went outside and Frank showed up. Before you get any dirty ideas, we were just talking.”
“And? Did you finally give in?”
“Yeah. Kinda.” I had to cover my ears when she squealed.
“Yes! Finally. I knew you’d give in.”
I didn’t even know I was gonna give in.
I’m pretty glad I did though.