Never Crossed My Mind

Johnny and Bam returned an hour later. Julie had stayed in her room with the door shut the whole time, so Olivia hadn’t even had the chance to apologize.

Bam greeted Olivia with a kiss on the cheek, then beelined for Julie’s room. He knocked on the door and asked Julie if he could come in and talk. Although Olivia didn’t see her cousin, the door opened and Bam disappeared into the room before the door closed again.

She looked to Johnny expectantly. “Well?”

Johnny sighed. “The night you stayed in the hospital when you broke your arm, Ehren took Julie to supper then dropped her at the house. They had agreed to take things slow because of the distance and both of their schedules and everything, so he didn’t stay long. Bam was worried about you and couldn’t get a hold of anyone, so he came over to the house. Julie filled him in, then Bam offered to keep her company. They did some drinking and one thing sort of led to another.”

“Seriously?” Olivia replied, raising her brow in surprise.

“Seriously,” Johnny confirmed. “Bam felt pretty bad that it happened behind Ehren’s back. So he just acted like nothing happened.”

“Julie’s never really been rejected before,” Olivia told him. “She’s probably feeling pretty used.”

“I didn’t know she hadn’t been rejected before, but I did tell Bam that Julie probably felt that way. He really does like her, Liv, he just felt guilty and didn’t know how to handle it. When he took her to the airport, she refused to talk to him about it. He’s apologizing now.”

Olivia sighed. “I feel horrible. I really pushed her on the issue. She just wasn’t ready to talk about it.”

“Hey, you didn’t know,” Johnny comforted, putting an arm around her. “But I do have to say that I told you meddling was a bad idea.”

“Yes, you did tell me.”

Johnny kissed her. “You had good intentions.”

Bam came out of the room then, and Julie trailed behind him. Olivia watched them carefully, until Johnny noticed and nudged her with his elbow.

“It’s all right,” Julie said. “Olivia, can I borrow those jade earrings you have?”

“Sure, I’ll get them for you,” Olivia answered, heading for the jewelry box in her room. Julie closed the door behind them.

“I’m sorry I got so upset with you. Bam said he told Johnny what happened, so I’m assuming you know now, too.”

Olivia nodded. “I’m sorry I pushed you, Jules. If I would have known, I wouldn’t have even brought Bam with me. I think he really likes you though.”

“He did have quite the apology. I’ve just never slept with someone who turned around and acted like I didn’t exist. I know now that it was just because of Ehren. So I guess we’re all right.”

Olivia handed over the earrings. “Are you really okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. You know, sometimes these events have to just process for a while.”

“Yes, I do know that for sure. Think you’re ready to introduce these boys to the family?”

Julie finally broke a smile. “It is going to be quite an adventure.”

***

“Puddin’! Is that you?”

Johnny assumed that the burly man standing on the porch was addressing his girlfriend, and his assumption was confirmed when Olivia ran up to her father and the man swept her into his arms.

“Good to see you, Daddy,” Olivia grinned.

“Didn’t we send you off to California in one piece?”

Olivia chuckled. “Yes, well, I came back in two or three, and with some extra pieces. I’ll tell you all about it later. Daddy, I want you to meet my boyfriend, Johnny Knoxville. Johnny, this is my father, Randall Moore.”

Johnny felt like he was in high school all over again. He held out his hand and shook Randall’s hand. “Nice to meet you, sir.”

“I presume you’re the one who encouraged my daughter to do that little stunt that broke her arm and put her overnight in the hospital and gained her some metal to fix her up?” Randall asked, a grim look on his face.

“Uh, yes, sir. I was one of them,” Johnny replied.

The scowl turned to a mischievous smile. “Well, I never thought Liv would meet anyone to get her to take some chances, but I suppose I’ve been proved wrong. Good job, son.”

Olivia let out a sigh of relief and rolled her eyes. “That was mean, Daddy.”

“Oh, it’s all in good fun.”

“I’m sure,” Olivia smiled, shaking her head. “This is Bam Margera. He’s another one of the crew out in Los Angeles.”

“Bam, nice to meet you. We’d better get you four inside. The women have been cooking up a storm.”

Olivia clasped hands with Johnny and made sure Bam wasn’t too far behind since Julie skipped up ahead with her father. She could tell just by Bam’s countenance that he was feeling better; whatever had gone on in the conversation between him and Julie, it seemed to have lightened spirits for both of them.

Olivia finished introducing Johnny and Bam to everyone, and most of the family was welcoming. When Olivia’s mother stepped into the room though, the entire atmosphere changed.

“Hey Mama,” Olivia greeted with a respectful but not cheerful tone. “This is Johnny Knoxville and Bam Margera. Guys, this is my mother Donna Moore.”

“Mrs. Moore,” Johnny greeted, holding out his hand. Donna crossed her arms over her chest and just stared at his extended hand, so Johnny put his hands in his pockets. “You’ve raised a really great girl. It’s been a privilege to have her around.”

“I’m sorry, it’s been a privilege to have her around for work or personal reasons?” Donna asked.

Olivia groaned. “Don’t start this already, Mama.”

“I’m just trying to clarify.”

“Really, for both reasons, ma’am,” Johnny assured her. Donna gave him a doubtful glance before disappearing back into the kitchen. Olivia shook her head and took a deep breath as the rest of the family followed her, anxious to get started with the meal.

“I’m sorry,” Olivia apologized. “I talked to her yesterday and everything seemed fine, so I didn’t think to mention it. My mother thinks that men like you would only give me a job because of, well, ulterior motives.”

Johnny winced. “Not a Jackass fan, huh?”

“Not so much,” Olivia replied. “I didn’t think she would be so rude to you.”

“Forgive my wife,” Randall spoke up. “She’s always been hard on Olivia. Doesn’t think journalism is a good career to begin with, but this project hasn’t really struck her as an opportunity.”

“What does she want you to do?” Johnny asked after Randall walked away.

Olivia shrugged. “Stay around here. Find someone and settle down, be a stay-at-home mom. Look, we can’t worry about this too much. It’s always been like this with my mom. Up and down all the time; I can never do enough to please her. I’m used to it, but don’t let it get to you, all right? I’m happy with what I’m doing, and I’m happy with you.”

Johnny smiled and kissed her chastely. “As long as you’re not bothered by it.”

Olivia assured him again that she wasn’t, so they joined the family at the dinner table. There were a lot of laughs and jokes, and both Johnny and Bam enjoyed themselves. Only Donna remained distant and quiet.

By the end of the evening, Olivia had lost count of how many times she told her skate ‘n’ swim story. Her cast had a myriad of new signatures on it, and Bam proudly took ownership of the many doodles covering the plaster.

A few hours later, Olivia was falling asleep in her chair. Randall told them to go ahead and go home. He stood with Donna at the door as the four of them headed for the car.

“You’ll be here for a few more days, so we’ll see you again. And you’ll be home again before you know it.” He hugged Olivia and shook hands with Johnny. “Y’all be careful going home.”
“We will, Daddy.” Olivia hugged her mother. “It was good to see you, Mama.”

Donna gave a tight smile and kissed her daughter on the cheek. She leaned against her husband’s shoulder and sighed. “I’m so worried about her, Randall.”

He put an arm around his wife and they both watched as Johnny piggy-backed a tired Olivia across the lawn and carefully helped her into the car.

“Give them both a chance, Donna. I think he loves her.”

***

Olivia was exhausted, but a small second wind hit her as soon as they got in bed that night. Johnny kissed her sweetly and stroked her hair.

“You survived my family,” Olivia smiled.

“I did,” Johnny chuckled. “You know, Livvy, I like seeing you with your family. You’re different.”

“Different?”

“Yeah. Not in a bad way. I can just tell you’re at home here. Not like in Los Angeles.”

Olivia frowned. “I like Los Angeles. I like being there with you and the guys.”

“I know that,” Johnny assured her. “But I can tell Carolina is home for you.”

She rolled over to kiss him. “I’m going to miss you when filming is over. Not being around each other all the time.”

“We’ll make it work.”

“I know we will, but I’m just saying I’m going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too, pretty girl.”

“We should probably make the best of time we have together.”

“Yeah,” Johnny said.

His mind was a million miles away, but it didn’t take long for Olivia’s lips on his neck and her hand traveling over his stomach and further south to bring him right back to Carolina.

***

“We were in Carolina on a short break in the middle of filming,” Olivia started. “I wanted to take Johnny and Bam to the tattoo place I worked at through college and when I first started writing, just to meet everyone. Of course it turned into some dumbass dare with Knoxville and Bam.”

Johnny laughed beside her. “Don’t act like you weren’t all over this one, Livvy. A lot of this was your idea.”

Olivia smiled. “I never said it wasn’t funny or entertaining, I’m just trying to make the point that I should have known it was inevitable. We didn’t even have a camera – they made me go down the street to the Kmart and get a video camera so we could have it on film.”

“Dude, you’ve got to get something while we’re here,” Bam told Johnny. “Come on. How long has it been? Actually, it should be Olivia!”

“Why me?” Olivia asked.

“Because your other bit didn’t work out so well. You’ve got to make up for it and get a stupid tattoo.”

“Actually, she might already have one that counts for that,” Johnny informed him. “You know Ryan’s rhino tattoo from Haggard?”

“Oh my fuck,” Bam laughed. “Liv, please tell me it’s not true.”

Olivia smiled proudly and lifted her shirt to show him the rhino on her right hip. “Just couldn’t help myself.”

“Ryan would be proud,” Bam teased her. “I really think he would.”

Olivia rolled her eyes. “All right, all right. Enough. Who’s going to get what?”

Bam and Johnny just exchanged glances; they knew it was going to come down to them. They sent Olivia down to the store for the camera while they debated on what they were going to get tattooed. When she returned, they still hadn’t made any decisions.

“I’ve got it,” Olivia smirked. “Bam, I dare you to get your junk tattooed.”

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” he exclaimed. “How come you didn’t dare Johnny to do it?”

“Because if I get my junk tattooed, she doesn’t get any till it’s healed,” Johnny laughed. “Come on, dude. You can do it.”

Bam sighed and shook his head. “Do you know how much that’s going to hurt?”

“It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. Just get a little smiley face,” Olivia told him.

“What do I get if I do it?” Bam asked.

Olivia looked to Johnny who shrugged. “The joy of me not calling you a pussy for the rest of eternity.”

“Fine,” Bam groaned. “I’ll do it.”

Johnny laughed and high-fived Olivia. “Good call, Livvy.”

Olivia raised her brow. “You think you’re getting out of this? If Bam’s going to get his downstairs-mix up permanently marked, you’re going to get Bam’s name in a heart.”

Bam burst into laughter. “I love this girl. I really do.”

It took some convincing, But Johnny finally gave in and agreed to get the tattoo. They had to wait for an artist to be available, and then for Bam to get over his sudden modesty and whip it out, but once all of that was done, the tattoos went on with little to no obstacles.

“Bam couldn’t stop getting hard while the guy was tattooing him,” Johnny laughed. “What should have taken maybe a minute took about fifteen because we had to wait for him to calm the fuck down.”

Olivia was laughing so hard she cried. “Poor Bam. He gets so much shit.”

Bam, who was sitting with them, laughed as well. “It was the vibrations from the tattoo gun, I swear! But that guy did have really gentle hands.”

They all fell into laughter again, nearly falling out of their chairs.

***

“My parents are going to flip when they see this,” Olivia laughed when she watched the bit later on with Julie and the guys.

“I can’t believe it missed it,” Julie said, laughing along with them. “That’s good stuff right there.”

“Hey, Julie, want to see my tattoo?” Bam joked.

Olivia and Johnny tensed, thinking maybe it was too soon after the whole predicament for Bam to be joking about it. Julie, however, recovered quickly.

“I’ll pass,” she replied. “One experience with that thing is enough to scare me off for the rest of my life.”

All four of them burst into laughter, and Bam had to high-five Julie. “I deserved that.”