Never Crossed My Mind

“The members of theJackass crew are used to the usual mumblings and controversy that go along with their daredevil – sometimes juvenile – antics, but no controversy has hit them quite so hard as the scandal of the latest MTV documentary showcasing the cast’s most recent activities. Behind-the-scenes footage submitted by novice documentarian Olivia Moore was broadcast two nights ago, sparking a harsh lawsuit against Moore who had become a close friend to most of the cast members, and was reportedly dating one of the crew’s most prominent members, Johnny Knoxville. Allegations of romances, love triangles, and the struggles of all the members to continue on after the death of Ryan Dunn, who was killed in a car wreck last year – all of these have compiled into one intensely personal combination and have caused blood to boil in the veins of Dickhouse executives. Agents from Dickhouse declined to comment and Moore did not return phone calls for comment.”

”I remember when I first read that article after the documentary aired. I was so pissed off, I was hurt … it was so many emotions at once. I hadn’t watched it when it aired, but Bam watched a late-night rerun and told me I really needed to see it. So, I watched it and after that I was all about finding articles and blogs and any commentary I could find about it. I had already gotten in touch with a lawyer to respond to the Dickhouse suit, but also to file my own suit – Nick stole my footage and forged my signature. He was so worried about the project falling through and didn’t want to lose the time and money he had put into coming out to Los Angeles and filming. If I didn’t get paid, he didn’t get paid. Putting my trust in that jerk-off cost me more than just money: it cost me friendships and relationships. And I couldn’t stand to let that happen. So there was a lot of legal stuff going on then, on top of all the emotional stuff. I felt really alone. Because of the lawsuits, I couldn’t realistically leave California. My family is all in Carolina, and in LA, Bam was the only one on my side. I ended up flying my cousin Julie out to be with me though, because she was getting so much harassment from the media in Carolina. I’m lucky they couldn’t figure out where my parents lived.”

***

Olivia was beginning to get cabin fever. There weren’t many places in Los Angeles that they could go without being harangued by the media or just people in general. In just a couple of months, she had gone from a complete unknown to being all over the pop culture news. Everyone knew who she was it seemed, and poor Julie was caught up in it with her.

“All right, ladies,” Bam said, breezing into their hotel room a week after the documentary had aired. “Get up, get clean, get dressed. We’re going out.”

“You’re out of your mind,” Olivia replied, not budging from her spot on the bed. “I can’t even make it through the lobby without someone stopping me.”

“And I just want to go back to being a nurse, without all the notoriety,” Julie added on.

Bam picked up the remote and turned off the television. Both of the girls frowned at him and protested, but he wasn’t going to change his mind.

“Look, I’ve got you girls a spa appointment. You need the relaxation.”

Julie frowned. “And what are you going to do while we are there? Get waxed?”

“No,” Bam replied, rolling his eyes. “I’m working on something with the lawyers.”

“Shouldn’t we be there for that?” Olivia asked.

“Not necessarily.” He paused; she raised a brow. “Okay, maybe. I just have an idea is all, and I want to see if it would even be a good one, or a legal one for that matter, before I tell you. I don’t want to get your hopes up.”

Olivia looked at Julie who shrugged. “All right, fine. Give us thirty minutes to get ready.”

“Don’t worry, I’m already on my way out. I’ve got a cab scheduled for you, he’ll know where to take you.”

Julie called after him as he left the room. Bam turned back to her and she hugged him fiercely. “Thank you. For taking care of us.”

Slightly surprised, Bam hugged her back, kissing her temple. “You’re welcome, Jules. Go get dressed, all right?”

Julie nodded and waited for him to leave before closing the door behind him. Olivia eyed her cousin suspiciously, but Julie just rolled her eyes and headed for the shower.

***

“What do you think Bam has in mind?” Julie asked once they were both seated in massage chairs, enjoying a lovely pedicure.

Olivia sighed. “Who knows. He seemed excited about it, but I try to remember that last time he was really super excited about something, I broke my arm.”

Julie laughed. “It can’t be that bad. Maybe he’s working on a truce with Dickhouse.”

“Yeah, I’m not betting on that,” Olivia answered. She leaned back against the chair, enjoying her pampering. “This Estelle Johnson lady gets on my nerves.”

Julie momentarily peered over the magazine she was reading. “She’s not exactly my favorite newscaster either.”

Olivia listened to Estelle comment on all of the recent celebrity rumors. It was nice for once not to hear her name among them; Olivia’s revelry lasted only for a few minutes, though.

“Johnny Knoxville seems to be recovering from the shock of recent Jackass scandals,” Estelle began. “Knoxville was seen leaving Jeff Tremaine’s house with a pretty redhead on his arm.”

The scene cut from Estelle’s bright smile to apparent paparazzi footage of Johnny leaving Jeff’s house with a familiar girl standing close to him. He opened the door for her, kissing her and smiling as he helped her into his car.

“That’s that Charlotte chick!” Olivia exclaimed, trying to get Julie’s attention. “That’s the girl that – you know who I’m talking about!”

Julie raised her brow. “Nope. I don’t.”

“Yes you do!” Olivia groaned. “The girl he left the date with and came home early and we got together that night.”

“That girl?” Julie asked incredulously. “What the hell is he doing with her?”

“Good fucking question,” Olivia mumbled. She sat back again, closing her eyes and counting backwards from one hundred. She supposed in light of everything that was going on, she couldn’t blame Johnny for wanting to find a new girlfriend, but picking Charlotte was kind of a low blow.

“Can we change the channel, please?” Julie asked one of the employees. The woman obliged her, and Julie looked back to her cousin. “Are you breathing?”

“Kind of.”

“Just breathe, Liv,” Julie encouraged. “We’re going to figure all of this out. Let’s get through these first couple of lawsuits – them against you and you against Nick – then you can punch Johnny in the face and deal with your assault case.”

Olivia shook her head. “I don’t know why I even care, honestly. Why should I? You can’t just tell someone you love them and then turn around treat them like shit. I hope he’s happy with Charlotte and that her high-maintenance-ass treats him like the ass he is.”

Julie accepted her cousin’s calm façade, but she could tell it was a front. Olivia was angry and hurt – Julie knew that without even having to ask. She crossed her fingers that this would all be over sooner, rather than later.

***

Bam was already back at the hotel by the time they arrived. After their appointment, they had decided to do a little bit of shopping. It helped to ease Olivia’s nerves, and Julie was able to distract her with a sudden – if not entirely necessary – desire to find a new dress in just the right shade of blue.

“How was your day, ladies?” Bam asked.

“It was fine,” Olivia breathed, setting her bags on her bed. She kissed him on the cheek. “I’m just going to splash some water on my face. I’ll be right out.”

She took her phone into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. Bam eyed the door suspiciously then turned to Julie.

“What the fuck was that about?”

Julie shook her head as she hung her new dress up in the closet. “We saw a news bit while we were at the nail place. Johnny was at Jeff’s with Charlotte – and they looked a little more than friendly.”

“Oh shit,” Bam breathed. “I’ll bet she’s all sorts of torn up.”

“Yeah. I tried to distract her as much as I could, but it’s just not something she’ll forget easily.”

“I’m going to talk to her. If you want to order up some room service, I’ll treat you girls to supper, too. We’re going to be up for a while.”

Julie agreed, and Bam knocked on the bathroom door. “Olivia, open the door. It’s Bam.”

Olivia didn’t open the door, but unlocked it. Bam entered, shutting the door behind him. Olivia was sitting on the side of the tub, wiping tears and shaking her head.

“I was so stupid to think this was going to work out. I should have known from that meeting last year that this just wasn’t going to be a good idea. I’ve always had so much ambition and determination to get to this point. I got out here and I had fun – do you know, Bam, that I can’t remember the last time I was having fun? That I felt like I was part of a group of friends?”

“You’re still part of a group of friends,” Bam told her. “That group is just a little … in disarray right now.”

Olivia snorted. “Yeah, just a little. You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about Ryan the last few days. I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but if he hadn’t died, I never would have met any of you.”

Bam took a deep breath. “You found out from that job, right?”

Olivia nodded. “Yeah, I did. Keith called me … I don’t know. Must have been just a few hours after it happened. I was shocked. Felt like … like the whole universe shifted. I remember telling Johnny once that even though I never knew Ryan, I always expected him to be around. Last few days though, it feels like he was never supposed to be gone, and I was never supposed to be here. Maybe that’s why it all fell apart. We were too much for Fate to handle.”

Bam chuckled. “If it hadn’t been this, we would have met you some other way, Liv. You were meant to be part of this group. I don’t know how exactly, but somehow this proves it,” he smiled, tapping the cast on her arm. “How much longer you have in that thing anyway?”
“Five weeks, I think.” She got up and stood at the sink, wetting a washcloth and wiping the tear stains from her face. “Thanks, Bam.”

He hugged her. “Anytime, Liv. You know that no one could ever or will ever take Ryan’s place, but you being around … it makes the whole thing more tolerable.”

Olivia kissed his cheek. “How about you tell me and Julie what you’ve got up your sleeve, then?”

***

Bam was right; he and the girls were up until well after the sun rose the next morning working on their project. There wasn’t a lot of time to get it together if they were going to pitch it before the lawsuits took place, so they wanted to get as much done that night as they could.

“All right,” Bam finally said, taking a deep breath. “I think we’re good for the pitch. I’ll work out a few songs to throw over it and we’ll be good.”

Olivia pushed her glasses up her nose and nodded. “I think you’re right. Damn, I’ve got to get some sleep before we do anything though. Try and put the meeting off for as long as you can, okay?”

“That won’t be a problem,” Bam assured her. “I’ve got to get some rest, too. Julie, you want to walk me down to the lobby?”

“Sure,” Julie agreed.

Olivia smirked as they walked out together but told herself to butt out. She’d done enough to get them into trouble. She picked up a couple of towels and some clean clothes and headed to the bathroom for a quick shower before she went to bed.

The water felt good over her tense muscles, but Olivia didn’t linger in the shower. She got out and dried off, dressed herself, and then combed her hair. She thought about the time she’d paced outside of Johnny’s room while he readied for his first date with Charlotte. She thought about the kiss they shared just before the doorbell rang; God, she missed him.

Breaking about ten of the rules regarding communication the lawyers had set up, she went in search of her cell phone to call Johnny. She ran a hand through her wet hair, trying to figure out what she was going to say.

It wasn’t a surprise to her when the call went right to voicemail. She waited for his greeting message to be over and then took a deep breath.

“Hey, Johnny, it’s me. It’s Livvy. Look, I know I’m not supposed to be calling you and I know that you’re not supposed to talk to me. I’m not going to say anything about any of that I just … I miss you, Johnny, and I wanted you to know that, I guess.” She paused. What else was there to say? He probably didn’t want to hear that much from her, so an ‘I love you’ wasn’t going to help matters either. Deciding it was best to end the message there, Olivia disconnected the call and tried to get some rest.

***

Johnny sat on the edge of his bed and listened to the message in the dark. He ran a hand over his face and hit the button to replay it. He had to admit, angry as he still was, it was good to hear her voice. After the second time, he disconnected the line to his voicemail and set the phone on the nightstand.

Everything had gone downhill so quickly. One night she was telling him she loved him, and the next he was finding out that she had betrayed him. He knew about the suit that she had filed against Nick, but he wasn’t so sure it wasn’t just a ploy – something for show to try and get back in their good graces or to keep up her reputation. He never would have believed that Olivia would do something like that, but the evidence was right there. How else could MTV have gotten that footage?

Charlotte rolled over in her sleep and cuddled against his chest. Calling her had been a last ditch attempt to get Olivia out of his mind. Charlotte had been weary at first, but Johnny had charmed her into another date. He explained that thing with Olivia were over, and he must have been convincing enough because they had seen each other every day since then.

It was only temporary though, the distraction, and Johnny knew it. He knew it because every moment he spent with Charlotte, his mind told him how she fell short of everything about Olivia that had made him fall in love with her in the first place. He couldn’t quite reconcile that with his feelings of betrayal; he could only hope that time would make it all pass.