Never Crossed My Mind

Olivia paced back and forth outside of Johnny's room. The door was opened just a crack, but she couldn't make herself knock or push it open.

"Olivia," he finally called after a couple minutes, swinging the door open and going back to his bathroom. "I am particularly fond of the carpet in the hallway, and if you keep up that pacing, you're going to wear it thin. Just come in here if you want."

When she got to the bathroom, she had to compose herself. His hair still dripped slightly from the shower, and his shirt was off to allow him to shave without making a mess on whatever shirt he had decided to wear. His jeans were low-slung on his hips. She had to think of something to say before he noticed her staring.

"Aren't you going to be late?"

Johnny shrugged. "She's coming here."

"She is?" Olivia asked, a grin coming over her face as she leaned on the door frame. "Do I get to meet her?"

"Yeah, I don't think so." He wiped off his face and finally took a good look at her. "Shit, are you going out with the guys or did you find a date, too? You look amazing."

Olivia looked down at the strapless white sundress she had on and shrugged. "Spending all that time in the California sun has me nice and tan, I wanted to show off a little."

"Make sure those guys look out for you tonight. I like your hair down like that by the way."

"Thanks," she replied, then hopped up on the bathroom counter while Johnny attempted to button his shirt, but got the alignment all wrong. "Here, let me."

Johnny stepped up to the counter, and Olivia worked first on unbuttoning his shirt before lining up both sides of the shirt and buttoning it correctly.

"Thanks. Must be that pretty dress that's distracting me." He delighted in her blush as she rolled his sleeves but then apologized. "I'm sorry. I said I was going to stop that. You do look very pretty though, Olivia."

She finished rolling the second sleeve but couldn't move her hand from his arm or her eyes from his gaze. "You can call me Livvy. I was just angry when I corrected you before."

Johnny simply nodded, holding her gaze and waiting for the gradual movement of their heads to bring them close enough so he could taste her kiss again.

Olivia drew in a deep breath when the doorbell rang, interrupting their gesture. She scrambled off the counter and told him she could answer the door. "Don't worry, I will be nice. You spray on some cologne and we will see you downstairs."

Hoping to all that was good and innocent that the blush in her face would go away by the time she reached the door, Olivia hurried to greet Johnny’s visitor. The model-esque redhead who stood before her was more or less what she had expected to see, but still made her feel dowdy with her short frame, sundress, and flip flops.

"Um, hi. I'm Charlotte. I'm supposed to be meeting Johnny?"

"Knoxville, of course," Olivia smiled. "Come on in. He's just getting ready. My name is Olivia, I'm a writer and I'm working with the crew for a couple months."

"Oh," Charlotte replied.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"I'm fine, thank you. Do you know how long he'll be?"

"Just a few minutes. It was nice to meet you, Charlotte." With that she excused herself from the room to call a cab out to the bar. She needed to get drunk.

"Hey, did you meet her?" Johnny asked as Olivia sat on her bed waiting for the cab.

"Yeah. She's really pretty."

"Does she seem nice? I mean, help me out here."

"I think she's a little nervous, but she seems nice."

"All right. About what happened earlier, I'm sorry."

Olivia shook her head. "Don't apologize. It was both of us."

"We're good then, as long as I don't tell?"

"We're good," she laughed. "Have a good night, Knoxville."

"You too, Livvy."

She smiled as he walked away, happy to hear the nickname from his lips again.

***

The date did not go well at all. Besides seeming disinterested from the beginning, Charlotte had more than the legitimate amount of questions about Olivia and what exactly she was doing at Johnny’s house when Charlotte had arrived. Although he tried to explain, she just didn’t seem to buy it. It was a mutual agreement to end things after dinner.

He drove over to the bar, but when all the guys informed him that Olivia had called it a night after just an hour or so, he opted to leave, too. When they left the set that day, she’d seemed to be in a good mood and was looking forward to going out; something must have happened to change her mind. He couldn’t deny his curiosity was piqued.

She was in boyshorts and a tank top, watching a movie when he arrived back at the house. Johnny cleared his throat to announce his presence; Olivia jumped and reached for a nearby blanket.

“I’m sorry,” she scrambled. “I didn’t expect you to be home so early, or else I would have put on some shorts or something.”

Johnny shrugged and leaned on the back of the couch. “Your outfit wasn’t that different that night in New York.”

“Oh yeah. I’d forgotten about that part.” Olivia fiddled with the edge of the blanket, waiting for him to say something.

“Well, maybe since we’re both bumming out tonight, I’ll go put on some more comfortable clothes, we can pop some popcorn and have a movie night,” Johnny suggested.
“I’d like that,” Olivia smiled. She got up to put on some sweatpants and was waiting in the kitchen when he returned downstairs.

“You really didn’t have to change.”

“I know,” she said. “But it’s whatever. What do you want to drink?”

“Just because we’re not out doesn’t mean we can’t drink, right?” He emphasized his question by pulling a fifth of whiskey from the cupboard. “We’ll make a drinking game out of it. Find a scary movie. Every time someone dies, every time one of us screams, every time someone breaks the horror movie rules --”

“Horror movie rules?”

“You know. Don’t be a slut, stay in your hiding place, don’t go in the basement, shit like that. C’mon, Livvy, what do you say? Let’s turn our mutually crappy nights into one combined night of awesomeness.”

“Who says I had a crappy night?”

Johnny raised his brow at her. “You were at the bar for less than an hour before coming back here to watch movies by yourself in your underwear.”

“I hate you.”

“Oh, I don’t think so. You know why?”

“Why?”

“Because I have the whiskey,” Johnny said with an evil laugh, jetting for the living room.

“Not fair!” Olivia yelled, running after him with the bowl of popcorn. “I’ve got a better game for you. One that, if you can stand it, I will have a most wonderful prize for you.”

“What’s the game and what’s the prize?”

“Not a horror movie because I’ll have nightmares for days. A sappy movie. Every time I cry, or do one of those girly ‘aww’ things, or anything like that, I’ll drink. Every time you make fun of the movie, groan, or anything like that, you drink.” She smiled sweetly.

“You didn’t tell me the prize.”

“It’s a secret.”

"Oh no, I know how this goes. I play it your way and then I get some dumb high-five or pat on the back or something."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Fine. If you can beat me at this game, I will give you one of my famous back rubs."

"With a happy ending?" Olivia smacked at him but he evaded her strike. "All right, all right. Let's do it."

Grinning, Olivia hopped up and picked out the girliest movie she could find.
Halfway through the movie, they were tied at two shots a piece, and neither was anywhere near drunk. Johnny paused the movie and suggested they take a smoke break. Olivia agreed and followed him out by the pool.

"You gonna tell me what happened tonight?" Johnny prompted.

Olivia shrugged. "I don't know. It's a weird girl thing. Kind of vain and selfish."

"Okay, well, what if my side of the drinking game applies times three if I give you shit?"

"I guess." She took a deep breath. "I just felt so good today, and I came back here and got all pretty. I never wear a dress just because. So, I went out and no one noticed. I didn't turn one head tonight. Kind of hits a girl's ego when she puts in that kind of effort with no return."

"I noticed you."

"I know you did, and I appreciate it. I was right in front of you at the time, and you had that model pretty girl to go out with tonight, anyway."

"So you were jealous?"

"Fuck you. That's three shots."

"No, I'm serious. I mean, if it makes you feel better we ended the date after dinner because she kept asking questions about you. I think she was jealous."

Olivia wasn't sure what to reply to that. She found it hard to believe, but at the same time, it did make her feel a little better. She finished her cigarette, then pulled another one from the box and lit it.

"Besides," Johnny said. "I always notice you. You could be in a pretty dress or covered in beer and fish stink, I don't care. I notice you. And, I know I'm not supposed to say these things, but to hell with it. I spent a whole year trying to get you out of my mind and I couldn't do it. You are right here in front of me now and for two weeks, we've been pretending that we just want to be friends. It doesn't matter that my blind date could only ask me about you because it's not like I was thinking about anything else."

"Johnny, you know why we are only friends. It isn't about wanting each other or not wanting each other. It is about the fact that we barely know each other and it's about keeping scandals away."

"We know enough to know we want more. Even from that first night, we both knew there was something between us. Why not just give it a shot?"

Olivia flicked away her cigarette and stood. "Maybe there is more here, but it isn't enough to risk my career."

"Right," Johnny said quietly. "It's always about work, isn't it?"

"Please don't be angry," Olivia pleaded.

"I'm not angry, Livvy. Just ... disappointed."

He pushed his cigarette into the ashtray and disappeared back in to the house. Olivia watched him go and felt her heart break. The man had put his heart on the line -- and his own career, really, going against what Jeff had said about them not fooling around. She had a feeling Johnny was talking about more than just fooling around, but her mind had instantly gone to work. Just like it always did.

She had one more cigarette and then went inside. Johnny was nowhere to be seen, so she assumed he had gone to bed. After cleaning up the popcorn and the whiskey, Olivia turned off the television set and went upstairs. She checked the time; Julie was working tonight, but Olivia thought she might be able to catch her on her break.

“Perfect timing,” Julie answered. “I just started my lunch.”

“Oh, yeah? How’s work?”

“It’s pretty good. What’s wrong with you? And don’t tell me nothing because I can hear it in your voice.”

Olivia sighed. “I screwed up, Jules.”

“What do you mean?”

“Johnny and I both ended up staying in tonight -- I wasn’t impressed with the bar, and his date didn’t go well. We decided to just have a movie night, and halfway through the movie, we went outside to talk. He said some stuff --”

“Tell me the stuff.”

“I was bummed because I got really pretty tonight and I didn’t turn one head at the bar. Johnny and I had this almost-kiss earlier before his date because he thought I looked so pretty, and he just said that he always notices me. He said that it’s stupid that we’ve spent this time trying to pretend we don’t want to be more than friends because we spent so long with each other on the brain. He told me we should give it a shot.”

“Let me guess,” Julie said, taking a deep breath. “Your mind went directly to what Jeff said and you told him you couldn’t risk your career.”

“Am I that predictable?”

“You’re about ten percent predictable and ninety percent workaholic. I know that you love your work and I know that you’ve been waiting for something this big your entire life. I think, though, that if you don’t start putting something else ahead of your work, you’re going to end up alone. I don’t mean to sound mean or harsh, but that’s just the truth of it, Liv. Look at your life for the last four years now. Johnny is the closest you’ve come to any sort of relationship, and I think it could be a good thing if you just give it a chance.”

“I hear what you’re saying, but it could ruin everything. Even if everyone was okay with it, if we didn’t work out, there could be a lot of awkwardness. And, anyway, chances are it wouldn’t go over so well.”

“If you don’t want to be married to your job for the rest of your life, you’re going to have to figure it out. I think if it turns out to be a good thing, and everyone else can see that, it’ll go over better than you think,” Julie replied. “Think it over. I’m going to finish up my lunch and I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“All right. Thanks, Julie.”

“Anytime.”

She disconnected the call and let her cousin’s words sink in. Olivia didn’t want her job to be the only important thing in her life. Julie had a point; in four years, Johnny was the only one who could break through and give her some semblance of romance in her life, and he’d done it without even trying. That had to be worth something.

Making the first decision for herself and not for her job in four years, she turned off the light in her room and padded down the hall to Johnny’s room.

***

Johnny couldn’t believe how stupid he’d been. He put his heart on the table, and she gave it right back. As soon as the idea of going out with another girl had entered his head, it felt wrong. When Charlotte asked all the questions about Olivia, and he couldn’t get her off his mind, he figured it was a sign. When she needed to know that someone noticed her, it just felt right to put everything else aside and tell her he wanted to give it a shot. He had honestly never expected her to refuse him.

He laid in his room with the light on, knowing sleep wasn’t going to come to him soon. His mind went over and over every interaction with Olivia, trying to figure out why she couldn’t just ignore the potential risk to her job and give whatever they had a chance.

Twenty minutes after he’d walked away from her, a small knock sounded at his bedroom door. He considered not answering it, knowing it had to be Olivia, but he just couldn’t say no to her.

“What is it?” Johnny asked, opening the door.

Olivia took a deep breath. “I was wrong.”

Now that he hadn’t expected to hear. “You were?”

She nodded. “Can I come in?”

He pushed the door open enough for her to enter and then shut it behind them again as she crawled onto his bed. He took up the place where he’d been laying and waited for her to speak.

“You’re right, my bed is more comfortable,” she chuckled. “Listen, Johnny, I’m sorry. You’re the only man I’ve taken even the least bit of interest in for the last four years. Since that night in New York, I just haven’t been able to see anyone else in my life. I didn’t quite know how to handle that to begin with, but when you added the stuff that Jeff said on top of it, I think I kind of panicked. Then you walked away, and it felt even worse than thought of losing future projects.”

“I’m not trying to ruin your career or anything like that. I care about you, Livvy, and I just want to give us a chance.”

“So do I,” she replied. “I don’t want to have to figure out how to stay away from you anymore.”

Johnny smiled and laced his fingers through hers. “Are you sure?”

Olivia smiled back and nodded. “I’m sure. The only thing I ask is that we keep it quiet for a little bit so we can make sure this is really what we want and that it’s not just going to be a fling.”

He could make that compromise; Olivia was worth it. “Fair enough.”

“Good,” she smiled.

He pulled her closer, placing one hand on her cheek. Neither of them could stop smiling. Johnny leaned in and briefly brushed his lips against hers before kissing her full on. Everything that he had felt starting in New York came back to him, and he knew this was going to be so much more than a fling.