Foolish Dreams.

There's nothing better than opening your eyes in the morning and seeing the most perfect angel in bed beside you.

You're a diamond, how I found you I still don't know...

I wouldn't give up those precious moments of just staring at her sleeping form for anything. Not all the money in the world, not all the fame. The sight of those untamed, soft-brown curls, rosy cheeks, long lashes and slightly parted lips were all I wanted needed.

But now I got you and I'll never let you go.

Kadience Van Tassle was her name. She was eighteen when we met, young and full of life. A smile was almost always on her face. I loved that smile from the day I first saw it... It taunted me, pulled me in, and I don't care how cliche this sounds, but I knew from the moment I saw those up-curved, pale-pink lips that I wanted to change her name to Kadience Nixon.

If your heart's a pocket looking for some change,
My heart makes lots of sense.

Soon my foolish dreams started to come true and I made her mine.

We were at a local park, just walking around and talking about this and that. I remember how her laughs filled my ears, so sweet and oblivious. I knew I had to tell her my feelings, but how, I wasn't so sure. I didn't want to risk making things awkward. I didn't want her to never talk to me again. But I had to tell her. I just had a feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Just stay quiet, breathe deep, breathe out, breathe slow...

Thank the gods, when I suddenly blurted out my feelings toward her she didn't leave me standing in the middle of the park like a lonely moron. She admited to sharing the same feelings and well... things took off from there.

Don't say a word, let our eyes speak and they will tell you..

As the bright morning sun shone in from the white curtains I let my eyes wonder Kadience's flawless face. My gaze traced her smooth jaw-line, outlined her perfect lips and took in her glowing skin.

My eyes averted to my jacket the was hung up on a hook beside the bedroom door. I thought about the contents of the pocket and smiled to myself. I looked back at my love and wanted so badly to touch her soft cheek, but I knew it would wake her, and I couldn't bare to do that.

Give me one more day, don't give this all away...

Kadience and I had a rough start. We didn't know if we were going to make it, but I never gave up, and neither did she. We fought. We fought all the time. We would go at it for hours and hours until one of us left in an angry huff. But we worked through it. No matter how sick of the fighting we got, no matter how sick of the pain, we never gave up.

We'll be fine you'll see, just don't give up on me...

A few months into our relationship, Kadience announced to me that she was pregnant. She seemed so scared when she told me, almost like she thought I would be angry. But I could never be truely angry at her.

I'd be lying if I said that I'm not terrified.
Well, how the hell can I do as they say and take this all in stride?

A couple months after finding out that we were going to be parents, I was starting to get a little giddy about being a father. The thought terrified me, but I was still excited. I could tell that Kadience felt the same way, as well. The reality soon sat in--- We were going to have a baby.

After weeks of contemplating, Kadience and I decided that if the baby was a girl, we would name her Lilith, and if it was boy, his name would be Matthew.

Six months into the pregnancy, Kadience went into labor. We were terrified;; this was too early. Way too early. We knew from the moment we realized what was happening how this would end. Whether we wanted to admit it or not, we knew.

Matthew was a still born, and a hard blow to Kadience and I's well being. We weren't sure we could get through the loss of something we never even really had, but we did.

Does this come with an instruction book?
If so, I need to have a look.

A year or so after the tradgic loss of our son, Matthew, I was in a car accident. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in a hospital, seven months later. When I had woken up, I was told I was fully healed, but seeing the look on Kadience's face just tore my heart from my chest.

She flung her arms around me when she first saw me and began sobbing about how she thought I would never wake up. She had been told it was highly unlikely that I would ever wake up, but she stuck around. Even when I was practicaly dead, she stayed by my side. And I vowed I would always do the same for her.

I know you're scared inside but baby, so am I.
It gets so hard to hide, I'm not going nowhere.
I'm not going nowhere...

I felt a small smile form on my lips as I thought of all the things our relationship had survived. It gave me the confidence to quietly get up from the bed and go of to where jacket was hung. I reahced into the pocket and pulled out a ring box. I then set it on my vacant pill, along with a note that said;;

I'm a fool with dreams and not a lot of things
I swear that I will be all you need, don't give up on me.