I Loved Her First

Look at the two of you dancing that way
Lost in the moment and each others face
So much in love your alone in this place
Like there's nobody else in the world

Levi was the kind of guy I wanted my daughter to be with. He was sweet, caring. He was raised by his grandparents so he was really old-fashioned. He had asked me before he asked Makiah to be his girlfriend. Even at 17, I could tell they really liked each other. I’m standing in the doorway watching them play bored games with Dillan and Jasey. Dillan, you’d be so proud of what she became I thought. It was sad that my brother wasn’t around to watch Makiah grow up, like he wanted to me.

I’ve had Makiah since she was four and half months old. She was almost 8 months when I got with my wife – Dillan and Jasey’s mom, Sarah. She loves Makiah like she’s her mother too. There are days that I don’t want to believe my baby girl is growing up. I don’t want to believe that she’s 17 and a senior in highschool.

I was enough for her not long ago
I was her number one
She told me so


“DADDY!” A 5 year old Makiah squealed as she jumped off the swings at the local park. Sarah and the twins were back at home, taking a nap.
“Daddy?” She said when I was being way to quiet for her liking pushing her on the swing again.
“Yes baby?” I said.
“I love you.” She said getting off the swing to give me a hug.
“I love you too, baby girl” I said lifting her up. “Never grow up, okay?” I said.
“Okay Daddy!” she said. “Can we go home and see Mommy and Dillan and Jasey.?”
“Yes, baby we can go home and see them. Come on.” I said.

A lot of people thought it was disgusting that at 21 I had a 5 year old daughter. I found the glares normal and I was used to by now. When I walked in, Makiah automatically ran into the living room to play with Dillan and Jasey

“Garrett are you okay babe?” Sarah asked me.
“Yeah. I just don’t want her to ever grow up” I whispered

And she still means the world to me
Just so you know
So be careful when you hold my girl

I looked back into the living room. Levi and Makiah were alone now since the twins had went to their friends’s houses. The only gross part about their relationship was happening right now, as it looked like Levi was about chew her bottom lip off. I knew they were sleeping together, I just hoped they were being safe.

Time changes everything
Life must go on
And I'm not gonna stand in your way

“Dad! Mom! He asked me to marry him!” Makiah squealed showing off her new engagement ring. They had just turned 19, I personally thought it was too young to get married until Sarah reminded me we were only 17 when we got married. This was going to be hard on me and Sarah because of how close to our daughter we were.

But I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me

I watched all the home videos of Makiah, Dillan, and Jasey today. Today it’s been 20 years since my brother committed suicide. He was in the hospital video, but that was it.
“Dad, who’s the guy holding me?” Makiah asked me.
“Makiah, you know I’ve had you since you were four and half months old, right?” I said. She nodded.
“I’m biologically your uncle. I was your dad’s twin brother. He died when you were two weeks old. Shot himself.” I said.
“Oh my god are you serious?” she said. I nodded.
“We were 16. He was bullied to the point he couldn’t take any longer. He had just come out that he was gay to everyone else.” I said. She had tears in her eyes.
“Your mom didn’t want you, so I got you. I met your mom – the one that’s raised you with me when you were 8 months old. You’re the best thing thats happened to me in a long time, Makiah.” I said.
“Daddy, I love you” she said hugging me.

I knew the love of a father runs deep
And I prayed that she'd find you someday
But it still hard to give her away
I loved her first

“Come on you two, time for bed” I said lifting Oliver and Noah off the couch and into the guest room. They were two years old and one of the best birthday presents I ever got from my daughter.
“Goodnight Grampa!” they said together as I shut out the light and walked across the hall into me and Sarah’s room. Under our bed in a shoe box was the letter my brother wrote the night he killed himself.

I’m not holding back any longer. This will be the last you’ll ever hear from me, I promise. To my mom, Christina, I’m sorry I couldn’t be the “perfect” straight son you wanted me to be. To my stepdad, Wayne. I’m sorry I didn’t get to know you like Garrett did, but you seemed nice when I met you. To my dad, I love you. Thanks for all the support in the past 16 years of my life. You were my rock in the storm, daddy. To Jacoby, I’m sorry I lied to you and told you I was straight. I don’t blame you if you hate me. To my little sisters, Alex and Noelle – I love you girls. Don’t give Garrett such a hard time, you hear? He is your older brother and he does have the right to punish you. To my older brother, Nick. You’re such an arrogant asshole for what you say to my twin brother that I have no respect for you. To my baby brother, Brayden. I’m sorry I won’t get to see you grow up but you have such a loving family, bro. Stay strong. To my baby girl, Makiah Jade. I’m sorry that I left you baby. You’re only two weeks old. I regret not seeing you get grow up, graduate highschool, and get married. To my twin brother, Garrett. Please please please. Don’t hate me for this. You were my main supporter, Garrett. And please please please please. Take care of my baby girl. I love you, dude that looks like me.
Dillan Noah Greggory James.

Even after all this drama, and stuff like that. I still loved Makiah as my own. She will always be my baby. No matter what, because.

I Loved Her First