Pencil, Paper and Passion.

I sighed, dropping my bandaged hands from my face to stare at Ben. “What are you doing here?”

He stared at me incredulously as he came further into the room to drop the teddy bear on the couch. “What am I doing here? Where the hell do you expect me to be?”

“Not here?” I rolled my eyes, then shifted them to Mr. Kalebrow. “Uh… This is-”

“Your boyfriend, obviously.” There was a hint of amusement in his voice as he turned to Ben and held out a hand.

Ben and I spoke at the same time.

“No, he’s not-”

“Yeah, so why were-”

I bugged my eyes out at him, silently begging him to shut his trap. Besides, he wasn’t my boyfriend. He had no right going around telling strangers that he was.

“Ahem.” Mr. Kalebrow gained our attention, an eyebrow lifted. “It’s obvious that there’s something. However, that’s neither here nor there.” He lifted his hand to Ben again. “Noah Kalebrow. I’m Miss Sinclair’s bodyguard.”

Ben cautiously took the outstretched hand, giving it a firm shake before quickly dropping it. “Benjamin Gallagher.”

“Ah. Chemistry teacher, correct?”

I felt like I was going to faint. He knew Ben was my teacher. He’d also just heard Ben say he was my boyfriend. I choked out, “How do you know that?”

“Your mother hired me last night. I took the opportunity to study the people around you, including the faculty of your school.” Mr. Kalebrow explained easily.

“Oh. Ah, well. Mr. Gallagher and I aren’t-”

“It isn’t my place to judge, if you were. Nor is it my place to say anything about it.”

Ben was looking between the two of us with narrowed eyes. Finally, his eyes settled on me. “See, now there’s no reason to deny it.”

No reason to deny it? Deny what?! Our non-existent relationship? Hadn’t that been called off Saturday…?

I scowled at him. “Actually, there might be a reason to deny what isn’t happening. I thought-”

“You thought wrong, babe.” He sent me a disarming smile, as he moved to my bedside, before giving Mr. Kalebrow a pointed look. “Can we have a few moments?”

“Of course.” Mr. Kalebrow said smoothly, failing to hide a grin.

I glared after him, wondering where all his aloofness of before had gone. Hadn’t he been particularly chilly and uptight when he’d first entered? And had he really just left me alone in the room with Benjamin Gallagher? What a terrible bodyguard, I thought viciously. Isn’t he supposed to be protecting me from hostile persons?!

I turned to glare at Ben, just as he spoke, “Why the hell do you have a bodyguard?”

“Because I was attacked yesterday afternoon?” I stopped glaring long enough to give him an sarcastic look. “Or do you not remember how I ended up in the hospital?”

“Of course I do. But don’t you think a bodyguard is a bit much? Especially since you’ve told the police who attacked…” He trailed off when he noticed my sudden interest in my bed sheets. I stared down, trying to hide my guilty flush. Voice tight, Ben reached out to cup my chin in his hand, lifting my face, “You did tell the police who attacked you, right, Elizabeth?”

“I would have, Ben, I promise, but-”

“But nothing! Pick up that phone and call the police. Tell them who did this!”

“I don’t know who did it! I can’t- It’s just not there. I know it should be. I know I’ve heard that voice before, but I-I’ve blocked it out or something.” Tears were streaming down my face, but I did nothing to stop the flow or dry my cheeks. Instead, I reached up and tried to grip Ben’s wrist, near to shrieking. “I can’t remember, Ben!”

Eyes wide, he lifted his other hand and cupped my face. His tone dropped to a soothing murmur. “Hush, sweetheart. It’s fine. You’re just fine, now.”

I tried to shake my head, but it was held still by his hands. Panic was rising in my chest, yet again. It felt like I was back in the closet, trying to claw my way out. Why couldn’t I remember anything? Everything that had happened before I had woken up in the dark was almost a complete blank. The only thing I could recall were the words ‘put her in the closet’. But the voice was distorted and unrecognizable, even though I was positive it was someone I knew.

The obvious answer would have been Ryan Laski, but he’d had an air-tight alibi; he’d been an hour away, at his aunt’s house, when my attack had occurred. He couldn’t have been there to put me into the closet. But I had recognized the voice of the person who did, though it remained a stubborn blank inside my mind. I just had to keep trying to remember.

I reached out to cling to Ben, hampered by my bandaged hands, taking deep breaths. If I were to get anywhere with the voice, I had to calm down first. I couldn’t think rationally with my chest so tight and a panic attack ripping it’s way through me. I closed my eyes, concentrating on my breathing. When I inhaled through my nose, I caught Ben’s scent. Soap, something musky and, strangely enough, saw dust. What was even stranger was that I found the combination both sexy and comforting.

I laughed at myself and just like that, the panic was gone. Just being near Ben seemed to erase it completely, for which I was extremely grateful. I lifted my eyes to his, whispering, “I’m okay now. Thanks.”

He didn’t say anything, just leaned down and laid his forehead against mine, wrapping his arms around me. I hugged him back, unwilling to break the contact. I was confused though. I had no idea where we stood, as a couple. Because we weren’t one. I’d ruined that Saturday, yet he stood here, acting for all the world like my boyfriend. Had he forgotten everything I had said to him, or was he just pretending I hadn’t said it? I had to know where we stood.

So, I leaned back, prepared to question him. However, when I lifted my head, I didn’t have a chance to say anything at all. Ben simply lifted his hands and tangled his fingers in my hair, lowering his lips to mine. Almost immediately, he demanded entrance to my mouth and his tongue slipped easily between my lips. I tried to respond, to kiss him back, but he wouldn’t allow me. He kept complete control of the kiss, and I quickly realized it was a form of punishment. His anger was evident in the way his lips crushed mine and the way his fingers pulled hard at my hair, making me wince when he came into contact with the bandage around my head. I knew my lips would be bruised when he was done and it was becoming hard to breath. Hands useless, I began to tug my head back. When his fingers tightened further, pressing into the bandaged gash, I let out a yelp of pain. Instantly, I was released, though his hands only went as far as my shoulders. We stared at each other, both of us panting, and I noted the alarmed expression on his face.

I ran my tongue over my swollen lips and managed to croak out, “What the hell was that for?”

Ben shook his head. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, that was uncalled for. Did I hurt you?”

“Of course you hurt me. That was the point of it, wasn’t it?” I said with wide eyes, still trying to catch my breath.

He lifted his hands from my shoulders and ran them over his face, a shudder wracking his body. “Yes.” It was barely a whisper, full of shame and guilt. “Yes, I wanted to hurt you. I wanted to get back at you for Saturday.”

“I’m sorry.” It was the only thing I could say. I deserved every bit of punishment he doled out to me. I’d panicked at how close we’d gotten in such a short time and, instead of simply taking things a bit slower, I’d ended it entirely and had been cruel about it. I saw now that I had hurt him, unnecessarily. I had no excuse for it. I closed my eyes and repeated, “I’m sorry.”

Ben was silent for so long that I opened my eyes to see if he’d gone. Instead, I found him staring at me intently, a small smile on his lips. He reached out and stroked his fingers over my cheek. “I don’t want you to be sorry, Elizabeth. I only want you to be honest with me, like you weren’t on Saturday. I knew it then, but I didn’t know how to make you tell the truth. Now, I know you want to tell me.”

Unbidden, tears rose to my eyes. It was that easy for him; he’d forgiven me without even hearing the truth. I reached out and clumsily pulled him to me, wrapping my arms around his waist and burying my face in his chest. My voice was muffled when I spoke. “It was all going so fast. I panicked. I’ve only had a few relationships, but even I know one doesn’t progress as quickly as ours did. I’m sorry, Ben, I just got scared and pushed you away.”

“Hey, it’s alright.” His hand came up to stroke along my back, forming soothing circles. “That’s alright, Elizabeth. We can slow it down. It’ll be-”

“No!” I lifted my head, my now dry eyes staring into his. “Please, no. I shouldn’t have gotten scared. If our relationship was meant to go slow, it would have from the beginning. I don’t want it to change.”

His breath left him in a rush and he crushed me to his chest. “Thank god. It would kill me, having to slow down from where we are now.”

I laughed, slightly hampered by his constricting arms. “Are we alright now? Please, say we’re alright.”

“We’re fine. Perfect.” He lifted my head and placed his lips gently against mine, murmuring, “Though there are a few other things that need to be taken care of.”

I pulled away from him, questioning, “Like what?”

“Like who put you in that closet and why. I’ve a fairly good guess-”

“It wasn’t Ryan.” I said, flatly. No matter how much I wanted it to be him, how much I wanted this over, his alibi was solid. He couldn’t have done it.

“Elizabeth,” Ben started, warningly. “He’s the only one-”

I cut him off, “No, Ben, he didn’t do it. He was an hour away, at his aunts house, when it happened. After I told the police about what happened that day in your classroom, they checked him out. There’s no way.”

Ben’s lips tightened. “Then who was it? Elizabeth, you have to remember.”

“I’m trying,” I whispered. “I really am, but I just keep drawing a blank.”

He sighed. “No, it’s alright. You’ll remember in your own time, sweetheart. Don’t push it, or you’ll probably never remember.”

“That’s what the doctor told me.”

“I know. I talked to him before I came here.”

“Oh.”

“There’s that word again.” Amusement was clear in his voice. “I did try to come last night, you know. They wouldn’t let me in.”

I smiled up at him. “Good. I probably wouldn’t have been able to take all this emotional drama last night.”

He rolled his eyes at me. “You do realize, don’t you, that your life is pretty much a soap opera?”

“Yeah,” I said mournfully. “I figured that out a while ago. Want to hear something that just cements that idea?”

“Sure…” He said warily and I almost laughed aloud at the comical look of distress on his face.

“My mom’s moving away with my brother. They’re leaving me here, in that big house, all alone.”

“Can she do that? I mean, you’re-” In his voice was pure shock and outrage, on my behalf.

“Eighteen. A legal adult. I am no longer her responsibility.” I said it cheerfully, as it was something I had no problems with. As wonderful as my mother had been in those last few moments she’d been here, I knew we would still clash at every opportunity if she’d stayed. “They left today. Just a few minutes before you got here, actually.”

“Oh.”

“That’s my line,” I teased, laughing a little. It felt strange to laugh. I knew I shouldn’t be happy, what with being in the hospital and the events that had put me here, but right then, being with Ben, I was happy. I thought back and realized that he’d almost always made everything seem perfect, without even being aware of it. It was a rare quality, found in those with truly kind hearts. It was in Ben’s nature to soothe and comfort and make right what was wrong. He would have made an excellent police officer, I thought, or firefighter. He’s a natural born protector, nurturer.

It also felt strange to be back to this so quickly. Shouldn’t there have been at least a small period of awkwardness? Something. But I felt totally at ease with Ben; it was almost as if I hadn’t said anything on Saturday. However, I knew this wasn’t how most relationships went. I smiled to myself, though, thinking that our relationship broke more than a few rules.

There was a knock on the door, causing Ben and I to break apart quickly, looking towards the door. Mr. Kalebrow stood there, looking amused. There was a hint of it in his voice when he spoke. “I’m to tell you that visiting hours are over in ten minutes. I suggest you finish up here.”

I nodded and he left the room again. Looking up at Ben, I murmured, “I’m going to be released tomorrow morning. I know you’ve got work, but you could probably come over after.”

He smiled, running his fingers over my cheek again. “Alright. I should probably be there by 3:30, or four. Maybe sooner, seeing as I won’t have to stay after for any detentions.” This last bit was said with a pointed look at me and I flushed.

I really had been horrible those first few days of school, and I was paying the price now. Not only with detention, but with this whole Ryan Laski/hospital ordeal. If I hadn’t been in a bitchy mood the first week of school, I wouldn’t have deliberately pissed Ryan off and I wouldn’t be dealing with all the flak now. I sighed, thinking I should probably keep my big mouth shut from now on.

“Do you think Mr. Avery is going to make me finish my sentence out, organizing your supply closet?” I asked, forgetting that we only had a few more moments together.

Ben shrugged. “I don’t know. I haven’t spoken to Nick… Mr. Avery, since yesterday.”

“Oh.” I wanted to ask him something, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer. I took a deep breath. “How did either of you know something had happened to me? Most people would have assumed that I’d just skipped detention.”

“Your car was still in the parking lot.” He said easily, but I noticed a tightening around his mouth and a flash of anger in his eyes. There was more to it than that.

“I could’ve gone home with Charlotte or Brandt, planning to come and get my car later.” I pointed out, hoping he would continue.

Thankfully, he did. The anger was not only in his face this time, but in his voice as well. “I was on my way to Nick’s office, to tell him you’d skipped, when I found a bat. With blood on it.”

I felt my stomach turn over and I know I went pale. I opened my mouth to say something, but an odd choked sound emerged instead of words.

Ben went on, “It was a little to coincidental for me, so I left it where it was and went straight to Nick and showed him. He called the police and we went searching for you. We found you- Well, you know that, you were there.”

I nodded. “Yeah.” I stared at the far wall, where a clock hung, absently noting that our ten minutes was up. Abruptly, my eyes went to Ben’s face. “I didn’t know they’d hit me with a bat. The police didn’t tell me that.”

“They probably didn’t want to upset you. But I thought you should know.”

“Yeah.” Sighing, I reached out to hug him. “Thank you for coming to see me, Ben. And for the teddy bear.”

“The teddy- Oh! I forgot all about it.” Grinning like an idiot, any hint of anger abrubtly gone, he rushed over to pick up the purple mass, bringing it over to me. “Isn’t it great?”

The large bear was bright purple, with a wide smile, and held a big yellow heart in it’s paws. On the heart were the words ‘GET WELL BEAR-Y SOON’. I looked from the bear to Ben, trying to figure out who’s smile was wider. Looking back at the bear, I felt my own lips begin to curve. Soon, I was laughing, reaching out for the bear.

I squeezed it to my chest, gushing at Ben, “Oh, Ben, it’s so cute! Thank you! I don’t even care that it’s so cheesy!”

“Cheesy?!” He wailed in mock outrage. “Fine, I’ll just take it back then.”

When he reached out to take the bear, I twisted around to keep it from him. “No! He’s mine!”

He laughed, draping his arms around me. “Okay, okay. Keep him.”

“I’ll have to name him…” I said musingly, examining the bear a bit more closely. What did one name a large, purple, stuffed bear?

Ben rolled his eyes. “And on that note, I’m leaving. Have fun with your bear, sweetheart.”

I lifted my eyes to his and smiled, warming at the endearment. “I will. Thank you, Ben. I really do love it.”

“Good. You’re welcome then.” He leaned forward to kiss my forehead, above the bandage.

When he started to pull away, to leave, I threw my arms around his neck and pressed my lips enthusiastically to his. Taken by surprise, his mouth opened just far enough for me to deepen the kiss. I realized that this was the first time that I had ever kissed him.

Before I could put more of myself into the kiss, he pulled back and scolded me. “Elizabeth, you need to be more careful with your hands.”

“But-”

“You’ll tear your stitches out if you’re not more cautious.” His tone was still mildly reproachful, but he wrapped me in a quick hug. He gave me another kiss then stepped back from the bed just as Mr. Kalebrow stuck his head in the door. His voice was mildly irritated. “It’s been nearly twenty minutes. I’ve held off the nurses, but it’s becoming a hassle. Hurry up.” He popped back out, slamming the door.

Laughing, Ben pushed me back on the hospital bed before pulling the blankets up to my chin, tucking the bear in with me. “Go to sleep, Elizabeth. I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon, alright?”

I nodded as he walked to the door. “Alright. Goodnight, Ben.”

“Goodnight, sweetheart.” He flipped the light off and then slipped from the room.

I snuggled down into the blanket, suddenly exhausted. Now that there was no one to distract me, all the emotional drama caught up with me, sapping every bit of my energy. I yawned hugely, my mind going fuzzy with sleep. I knew I should think on everything that had happened, but my only thought as I drifted into sleep was that I would see Ben the next day.