It Never Ends

It feels great to be here, to be surrounded by the two most amazing people I know. Sure the college freedoms of sleeping whenever you want and coming and going as you please was nice, but having my mother cook for me is heaven. I'd sit on the couch watching TV and she'd pop her head into the room asking what I wanted to eat, I felt like a kid again. I'm home. Sure, the dorm room I had at college was great but it didn't compare to this.

I just. . . wish I came home under. . . different circumstances.

I wish things were different.

But wishing never gets you anywhere does it?

After I ate I figured I'd go out to the back yard and see the dogs, I knew they'd be happy to see me. As soon as I opened the sliding glass door both ran to greet me. The German Shepard mix, Shayla, jumped onto me, making me stumble a bit. I smiled and ruffled the fur on her neck. Tango, the Pit bull mix just wagged his tail, eyes ogling at me while he anxiously shifted the weight of his round, plump body on his front two paws.

“Hey Tango!” I greeted causing his actions to increase. I smiled at both of them and closed the sliding door behind me. My eyes scanned the backyard,taking in the familiar yellow and green grass. An old rusted, green picnic table was placed on the right side of the yard while a swing set was on the left side. Medium sized trees and small bushed lined the fence that separated us from the surrounding houses. I caught sight of the tennis ball near one of the bushes and sprinted over to it, Shayla following me closely. She tagged onto to what I was doing and easily ran faster, grabbing the ball with her mouth. Shayla made little effort to keep the ball when my hands gently pried the sphere free from her canine teeth. Just as I was about to throw it, the sliding glass door opened again, revealing my father.

“Hey” he greeted. I gave him a curt nod and threw the ball. “How are you feeling?” He asked, slipping his hands into his pockets and watching the canine attack the object.

“Surprisingly good today, I ate most of what mom made me” I replied, watching as the dog slowly walked over to me.

“That's good” He said, leaning over and patting Tango's head. Once again, I easily took back the tennis ball from Shayla and threw it again. My father and I just stood there for a minute or two, not talking at all. Then it dawned on my that when I was younger, we'd use to the same thing. I felt myself smile.

“What?” he asked. I just shook my head.

“I remember when I was younger, we would stand out here like this and while I played with the dogs” I reminded him. He chuckled and nodded his head.

“I had to make sure they didn't knock you over, you were so tiny for your age” Dad laughed. I grinned.

“Well don't worry Dad, they can't knock me over now” I teased.

“I know, I know” he sighed. “I'm proud of you, you know?”

I shook my head, “I didn't even finish college.”

“That's not the point” He said abruptly. He pulled me into a side ways hug. I closed my eyes for a second and hugged him back. No, I didn't really know what he meant when he said he was proud, but then again I don't really know a lot about life right now. I don't get why this is happening to me, and I certainly don't understand why now. Why not forty of fifty years from now? After I've made a mark on this world. Why not then?

“Hey, why don't you take the dogs out? Tango could really use some exercise” A laugh bubbled up from my throat and I nodded. “And maybe, get yourself a Slurpee. . .” He trailed off, casually taking out two five dollar bills from his pocket and handing them to me. I pulled away from his embrace and slipped the money into my pocket, surprised when he pulled out two dog leashes from his pocket. I gasped and shook my head.

“You set me up!” I yelled but he shook his head.

”No, your mom did, but I'm hoping 7/11 is a great compensation. And if you don't mind, stay out a bit longer than necessary” He winked and waked away. I groaned and rubbed and my eyes,“Gross!”

Thankfully I didn't really have much time to think about what would go on between my parents. When Shayla came close enough to see the leashes she began to jump on me. I laughed and tried my best to push he back, not wanting to fall on my butt. Tango just sat there wagging his tail and making nervous sounds; ogling the leashed.

“I'll put it on! My god!” I laughed, pushing the German Sheppard to the floor. She fought back though and tried to wiggle herself away but I easily snapped the leash to her collar and then the other leash to Tango's. Shayla pulled on the leash until we reached the sidewalk. I gently tugged her leash sideways reminding her that I was in charge. Tango, already knowing, was beside me. She was smart and got the message, walking more calmly.

We walked down the street, passing by houses. Memories from the past began to run through my head. The countless times I rode my bike. I remember pretending my bike was the head cart of a roller coaster. I'd mimic the sound of the carts going over the track and made wide turns, as if to not hit the other carts.

I also remembered the times I fell and scraped my knee. There was also this one time where I was walking Tango and he was smelling a cinder block, a black widow climbing out out of it two seconds later. I was quick to pull him away.

Those were the days. . . Those were the days when one didn't have to worry, your parents worried for you. I remember everyone always telling me to appreciate being a kid. To enjoy it because it sucked growing up but I didn't listen. I looked forward to growing up until I actually did and realized that it was in some ways what I thought it would be but, it was also more.

Before I realized it, we reached 7/11. Both dogs sniffed around their surroundings, catching a whiff of food when someone stepped out of the small market of the gas station. Shayla pulled on her leash towards the person who paid no mind. I smiled and redirected her attention back to me, making her sit. Tango's eyes stayed locked onto stranger with the food and I gently tugged on his leash, making him sit as well.

“Stay,” I commanded and tied both leashed to the bike rack and headed inside.

I made a beeline to the Slurpee machine, getting a medium cup and placing the thin, plastic, dome-shaped lid on it. My decision on the flavor was quick, actions memorized as I dispensed in cherry flavored smooth ice and the Coca-Cola. My hand picked out a blue straw and I slipped it in going over to the cashier.

“Can I get two hot dogs?” I asked, recognizing the kid behind the counter as someone from high school but I didn't bring it up. Obviously he didn't recognize me and I remember only seeing him in the halls.

“Uh yeah, it's going to take a couple of minutes though, is that cool?” He asked, eying the empty hot dog cooker. I just nodded and went over to the magazine rack, trying to kill time. My eyes raked over the covers, taking in the bad ass cars, models, semi-nude women, and today's heart-throb boy group. I rolled my eyes at all the ridiculous crap.

“Ulrich?” My head snapped up at the sound of my name, eyes meeting with an almost familiar face. I titled my head at the older boy, taking in the piercings on his face and his dirty blonde hair. He just gave me a goofy grin and wrapped and arm around the younger blonde boy beside him.

“My goodness you've grown!” He gasped walking closer with the boy beside him.

“Yeah?” I asked questioningly still not having an idea of who he was. He knew me though.

“Sorry! I'm Oliver! I use to be you're neighbor” He spoke, realizing I didn't know who he was. I still just stared at him my brain not yet clicking.

“Come on! You and my little brother were two peas in a pod! He's still obsessed with Pokemon” He grinned, pointing to the Pikachu shirt the boy next to him had on.

That's when everything clicked.