Cross Your Fingers

Parker walked slowly through Miss Oakley’s classroom. Her hair was tied up in a bow that her dad had attempted that morning. She wore a cute dress that she was dying to get out of. But she wasn’t thinking about that now; right now she was nervous.

Her dad told her that all of the kids were new in kindergarten, and no one would know anyone. But Parker didn’t know how to make friends, she never really had to.

She saw a brunette boy in the corner that sat alone, only his lunchbox at his side. She approached him tentatively and when he noticed he sent her an uncomfortable smile.

She sat down next to him, “I’m Parker.”

“Isn’t that a boy’s name?” he asked.

“What’s yours?”

“Austin,” he replied.

“Isn’t that the name of a city?” she asked.

He shrugged, “I guess.”

Miss Oakley approached them and bent down, speaking sweetly, “Austin, Parker, would you two like to join us in the reading circle?”

They both nodded their heads and stood. As they joined their classmates Austin took Parker’s hand.

And it wouldn’t be the first time that she ran away from him.

“Parker, wake up!”

She groaned, “What!?”

“Is it your time of the month?” Garrett asked.

“No, Gary,” she said, more softly now, “How much longer until we get there?”

“About forty minutes. John asked the driver to go really slow so that the ride wasn’t too bumpy so you could sleep. I think I like having you around,” he smiled.

“Oh, good, now he cares about me,” Parker mumbled quietly enough for Garrett not to hear.

“How do you like tour so far?”

“Well considering it’s only the second day I’m a fan,” she said.

“Yeah just wait until you don’t shower for a few days. It’ll be real fun riding around with us,” he said.

“Well I’m excited,” she said, monotone.

“So I guess you found out about Austin…” he said, quieter now.

“Yep. By the way I hate all of you,” she said, sitting up in her bunk.

“What happened with you two anyways? All I know is that you came to Arizona State and never went back to Texas. Not even Kennedy knows and I am so nosy it is killing me, Parker. Killing me!” he said.

“It was four years ago, Garrett. And I didn’t leave Texas because of him, I left to go to college,” she said.

“Whatever you say,” he muttered before walking away from her bunk.

Parker walked to the front lounge area and opened up a granola bar. Soon enough John came out and sat across from her.

“Okay, lay it on me,” he breathed.

She shrugged, “I’ve got nothing to say.”

“Come on, Parker,” he said, “I messed up.”

“You knew our history, John. You know how I feel about him and you still didn’t bother to tell me,” she finally said.

“I just wanted you to come, and I figured since it’s been so long you might be able to set that aside,” he said timidly.

“I just get so angry when I’m around him,” she admitted, “It’s really hard.”

“He was your best friend, Parker. You guys were closer than I am with my mom. There’s got to be some feelings left over,” John pressed.

“I always thought that too. But all that’s left is just… anger. Not the kind that makes me want to punch him… I just think that’s all I know how to feel.” she said simply. “I thought I was over it but seeing him—all those feelings came back.”

“You can’t hold a grudge to save your life, baby,” he said.

“Yes, I know,” she said, “But he hurt me bad, and I hurt him too.”

John sighed, he didn’t know what to say. “Can we be friends again?”

She shrugged, “I suppose.”

They arrived at the venue a while later and Parker set up The Maine’s merch table before joining most of the boys in the back. They all drank beer, everyone at different paces. Parker always kept her eyes away from the door when it creaked open, in case it would be him.

Once the show started she took her position at the merch booth. It was in a different room than the actual concert, but she could still hear the bands play.

Austin was good. Better than he ever had been and it made her angry. He was so successful and had met all these people when she had been the one to encourage him in the first place. It’s not like she expected the credit, but a thank you would be nice.

She rolled her eyes at her own thoughts. It shouldn’t be getting it to her like this. He was just a part of her past, her past that she had so successfully left where it belonged: in Texas.

“Um, excuse me, can I have the green one? In an extra small?” the petite blonde standing in front of her asked.

Parker reached behind her and handed it to the girl, “Twenty dollars.”

The girl pushed it across the table, “Are you dating John?”

“Um, well…” Parker stammered, “Yeah, I am.”

The girl nodded her head and smiled to her friend next to her, like they now had privileged information that they were about to go tell everyone. They scurried away and Parker sighed.

“That was pretty brave,” the girl next to her said.

She looked at the blond. Her hair was cropped along her neck and she had tattoos on her arms. She was wearing ripped up jeans and a black tank top that showed her lacey red bra underneath. But her smile made her less intimidating, “I’m Morgan.”

“Parker,” she said, “And yeah, I figured they would make the assumption anyways.”

“That’s the perk of dating the lead singer of an opening band. No one cares,” she laughed as she folded some shirts. Then Parker put it together. She was doing merch for Austin Gibbs.

“You—You’re dating Austin?” she asked.

“Yep,” she smiled, “For a few months now. He’s a little bit of a wildcard, but I love him.”

Parker nodded her head, smiling absently. This girl didn’t even know who she was, he didn’t even talk about her. Why did she expect him to?

“Yeah I’ve been dating John for four years,” Parker said, not meaning to sound like she was showing off.

“That’s about time for him to put a ring on it,” Morgan laughed.

“Amen,” Parker laughed. It was hard to dislike Morgan since she was so friendly, but she was already holding just the simple fact of who she was dating against her.

Parker and Morgan made more small talk and talked about Texas. She had met Austin at a party after one of his acoustic gigs and there was an instant attraction. She wasn’t like the whores Austin usually slept around with, she seemed different.

Parker didn’t know he was capable of change.

“Hey baby.”

Parker glanced up at where Morgan had been and saw her kissing Austin. She pulled away from him and looked at Parker.

“Parker, you know Austin right?” she asked.

Parker bit her lip and Austin answered for her, “We met once or twice.”

She faked a smile and once the couple started talking Parker rolled her eyes. It made her skin crawl being near him. He kind of disgusted her. But she could imagine that he felt the same. So that’s how it would be then? Fine, she could play his game too.

“Parker, do you want me to take over for you so you can go watch The Maine? It’s pretty dead right now,” Morgan said.

“That would be great,” she answered immediately, itching to get away from Austin.

As she walked to the door she brushed past Austin. He barely touched her arm but it was enough to make her stop completely. She didn’t look at him but he whispered in her ear, “Give him a kiss good luck for me.”

She shook his grip and walked away from him quickly. Now she remembered for what reason she had hated him so much. He had this thing about him that made it so easy to forget, but every time his voice rang in her head and she got that feeling in the pit of her stomach she knew. It was like she was anxious, but mostly just irate.

She watched The Maine play and realized how lucky she was to be with John. All these girls, some of them close to her age, pined for him. And even though he paid them the attention he felt like he owed them, he loved her.

This life she left in Texas didn’t compare to the one in Arizona. She could never deny the friendship she had with Austin, but her relationship with John proved to be the one that would last.

Once the show ended, Parker finished selling the merch and packed it up. John helped her with the boxes and once they were done he wrapped an arm over his shoulder.

“There’s some kind of house party tonight… to celebrate the beginning of tour. Want to go?” he asked.

She intertwined her fingers with the hand that was resting casually over her shoulders and shrugged, “If you want to.”

“It’s up to you, Parker,” he said, looking at Austin. She followed his eyes to the boy across the room. He was soon joined by Morgan who sat on his lap and smiled at him lovingly.

Parker looked back at John just as Austin’s eyes moved to hers. “I’d love to,” she said before kissing him.

*

Parker walked slowly through the familiar house. She had been here before, but she couldn’t quite place when. It must have been Austin that had recommended this place. It was downtrodden and neglected, but it didn’t used to be this way.

She walked out to where the garage should have been. Now it was only separated from the house by a doorway with no door. She came up behind John and slapped him on the butt.

“Oh, baby,” he lifted his eyebrows and threw an arm around her shoulder, “You know I love when you do that.”

“I need a beer pong partner!” Eric shouted to the crowd. Parker buried her head in John’s chest, hoping Halvo wouldn’t ask her.

She felt the tap on her shoulder and groaned when she met his expectant eyes, “Please, Parker. You’re so good!”

“I’m not that good!” she said.

“Come on,” he pouted.

“Who are we playing against?” she asked.

“Me.” She turned towards his husky voice and her face fell. “And I need a partner. John?”

John gave a look to Parker but her eyes were on Austin’s cocky grin. He smiled, “Let’s do this.”

The four stood in pairs on their respective sides of the table. Once they established that Parker and Halvo would go first, Austin spoke up.

“Wait! Should we make a bet, Parks?” His words were slurred and after this game he would obviously be sloppy. But now he was bringing up the parts of their past that had brought them together. The fun that had disappeared four years ago.

“You’re drunk, Austin,” she said as she sunk the first ball she threw into one of the middle cups, “And you’ll lose, anyways.”

Halvo missed his but that was expected. Parker was somewhat of a champion and could carry their team anyways.

Austin sucked down the beer from the cup. “Oh, come on,” he chuckled, holding the ping pong ball between his index and thumb and easily sinking it in a cup.

Halvo drank it and John missed. Parker shook her head, “We’re not going to bet.”

“Scared?” he asked as Parker and Halvo both missed their shots.

She looked at him, “Oh, right.”

Austin put his hand out to stop John from going. Everyone around them was tuning in and Austin was taking advantage of the crowd.

“If John and I win, you owe us both big fat kisses.”

“No.”

“And if you win, well… we can just see about that.”

She rolled her eyes, “It’s a bet.”

John threw his ball, bouncing it in. He shouted, “Welcome to the O’C, bitch!”

She laughed as she drank, shaking her head. Soon the game dwindled down and both teams were left with only one cup. Parker put her hands on Halvo’s shoulders, “Eric, focus!”

It took him a few seconds to meet her eyes and she continued, “We can do this!”

“Yeah!” he cheered, “I won’t let you down!”

He missed, naturally. Parker glanced up at Austin’s stupid smirk and prayed she wouldn’t miss. She wasn’t sure if she meant to bounce it or not but it did and Austin easily swiped it out of the way.

She hung her head, “Damn it.”

The room around them fell silent because apparently the moment wasn’t tense enough. Austin spun the ball between his finger tips before tossing it right into the cup on the other side of the table.

Everyone erupted in excitement and fake cheers as Austin and John nodded their heads and acted cocky.

“Pay up, baby,” John smiled as they met on the other side of the table.

“Okay, fine,” Halvo puckered his lips.

John pushed him away and laughed, “Nice try, Halvo.”

Anyone in the room could see John was drunk, because otherwise he wouldn’t be pushing for her to hold up her end of this stupid bet. She looked at Austin that stood expectantly at John’s side.

She smirked at him, feeling the alcohol give her her own confidence. She grabbed the collar of John’s shirt and kissed him roughly, letting him run his hands down her sides and not caring that there were people watching.

They pulled away for air and John grinned at her, “You should lose bets more often.”

She released the bundled shirt from her fingers and looked at Austin, “Your turn?”

He gave her what looked like an empty stare to everyone else. But she could see just how angry he was, and she had accomplished it.

Austin stormed away from them and she shrugged, “Oh, darn.”

She felt a hand wrap around her wrist as she was being pulled into the house. Once she was stopped she looked at her cousin.

“What is wrong with you?” Kennedy asked.

“Nothing,” she said defensively.

“I promised your dad that I’d watch after you. It’s only the first night and you’re drunk off your ass!” he said.

“Are you seriously brining up my dad right now, Kennedy? Screw you,” she scoffed.

“You’re a mess, Parker,” he said disapprovingly, taking the drink from her hand, “Just sober up before we have to leave, okay?”

He didn’t wait for a response before he walked away from her, leaving her with the judging eyes of the people around that had heard. She hated disappointing Kennedy but he really had no right. He shouldn’t have to look out for her, she was fine on her own.

She wound through the crowd and back out to the garage but she didn’t find anyone she wanted to talk to. So instead she swiped a bottle of Jack off the counter and crawled inside of it, drowning what was left of any emotion in order to numb the reality Texas brought.