A Minute Without You

there were so many of us that went on the trip to find taylor that we had to take two cars. we took my van and brittnie's honda. in my van there was me, anna, bert, brandy, and jacoby. in brittnie's car there was brittnie, frank, missy, and gerard. since we were driving from oklahoma to new york... it took us a long time to get there. it took us two days of driving to get to new york. we had some good times on the way though. i think in those two days i was the happiest i'd been in three years. i was twenty one and on a mission to find my love. i was excited and scared... i couldnt help but to think that maybe he didnt love me anymore... or maybe he'd found someone else. i was scared... but, this was something i had to do. i had to know for certain. anna had us all cracking up the whole time to new york. she sure did know how to lighten the mood. she helped keep my mind off of what was to come in the next few days.

when we got to new york, we checked into this cheapo hotel. we were trying to save money for the trip home, so all the boys shared a room, and all the girls shared a room. it was tight, and kind of cramped, but... i didnt care, all i could think about was seeing taylor. if anything, i just wanted to see him. i spent a few hours debating over whether i should call him first... or just show up.

i finally decided that i would just show up. so, i put on one of the nicer outfits i'd brought with me and we all got back into the cars and drove to the studio where taylor was supposed to be. we got out of the car and walked to the information desk and i asked for taylor. to my disappointment, they said he wouldnt be in for another couple of hours... i decided to wait. and thats what i did. my friends and i sat in the lobby for two loooooong hours. i was just about to give up waiting when i saw him through the window. i watched as he walked through the door and headed for the elevator, i couldnt move. he was just as gorgeous as ever... a little taller and he had facial hair, but, he was beautiful. i sat there, transfixed as he got on the elevator... just as the door closed he looked up and saw me. his elevator stopped on the second floor and i saw him running down the stairs, he ran to me and threw his arms around me. he squeezed me so tight i couldn't breathe. but, i didnt care becauase i was in his arms again. we stood there for the longest time, just holding each other when finally taylor pulled away and said, "meet me at the park down the street at sunset. i have to work now, but, i do want to talk to you." i agreed and told him i would see him then. we left and went to go find somewhere to hang out until time for me to meet taylor.

a few minutes before sunset i sat down on a park bench and watched all of the children playing. taylor came and sat down beside me. we sat in silence for a few moments and then taylor grabbed me and held me hard. he was crying, i knew he was.
"i'm so glad you came to find me... i cant live another minute without you."
those were the words i had waited three years to hear and i broke down and began crying. we held each other and cried until it was completely dark out. taylor wiped my tears away with his thumb and kissed me.

we spent the next few hours telling each other of the past three years, of everything that had happened. i told him that i tried to kill myself twice and he said that he'd thought about killing himself... but, in the hopes that we might be together again... he didnt. and i am so thankful that he was alive and okay, and here with me now sitting under the stars. i just wanted to hug him and kiss him until the end of time. at that moment it seemed like nothing could go wrong.

however... i got a call on my cell phone from frank... he, brittnie, missy and gerard had been in a car accident. brittnie wasnt doing so well. taylor and i raced to the hospital and ran straight for CCU. we burst through the double doors and nearly took down a nurse... frank was standing there, he'd obviously been crying. he had bruises and scratches all over his face, and it looked like his lip ring had almost ripped out.

we walked to the waiting room with frank where missy and gerard were sitting. missy had a cast around her arm and gerard had a bandage on his head. i ran to them and hugged them and held them close before asking about brittnie.
"how is she?" i asked.
"you can go see her, she's just down the hall." replied missy.

taylor and i walked to brittnie's room. i peeked my head inside and tears stung my eyes. she was hooked up to all kinds of machines. i walked in and stood beside her bed and kissed her forehead. the doctor came in and said that she was stable, but, that she was in a coma. i held brittnie's hand and whispered to her to please be okay. standing there in that room, i prayed to God for her to be alright and for her to wake up.

i walked back to the waiting room and asked if anyone had talked to anna, bert, brandy and jacoby yet, and no one had been able to get ahold of them. so, i took out my cell phone and dialed anna's number... after the fourth try, i finally reached her. she explained that she hadnt answered because she and bert were having sex and she'd turned her ringer off. i told her what was going on, it took her about ten minutes before she was standing next to me in brittnie's room, taylor was over in the corner. i looked at him and then back at brittnie, and then i decided i needed some fresh air. i hated hospitals.
"if brittnie wakes up, please call me."

i walked down the street and found a little music store. i walked in and there was rock music pumping through the sound system. i began browsing and i came across a cd that had taylor and his brothers, ike and zac on the cover. i grabbed the cd and walked to the counter taking out my wallet.
"$15." the man behind the counter said.
i handed him a twenty and he gave me my change. i quickly walked back to the hospital where my car was in the parking lot. i found my car and climbed in, i popped the cd into my cd player and turned it to "a minute without you". just as the song was ending there was a tap on the passenger side window, i looked over to see taylor smiling at me. i turned the cd off and unlocked the door. taylor climbed into the seat beside me. i started to say something but, he cut me off.
"No, please let me say something."
i nodded.
quoting his own song taylor said, "I know I said this earlier today, but....I cant live another day without you. i need you in my life and i need you for always."

he took my hand in his, and looked deeply into my eyes and he began singing.

[singing]
Well I woke up this morning
And the night had been so long
Seems that I had had my mind on you
Well the day, it has begun, and I can't get a minute,
can't get a minute without you
You're always on my mind, you're always in my head
And I can't live, I can't live another day without you
'Cause when the minutes seem like hours and the hours seem like days
Then a week goes by you know it takes my breath away
All the minutes in the world could never take your place
There's one-thousand-four-hundred-forty hours in my day
I've been trying to call you all day, 'cause I got so many things
that I want to say
I'm going crazy, 'cause all my thoughts are filled with you
There's got to be some way I can get through to you

(- "A Minute Without You" by hanson)

i kissed him hard and told him that i loved him, and that he would never have to spend another minute without me.