Butterfly

July 12, 2005

Grace is mad at me. I don’t blame her, I feel awful. I haven’t been going down to the garden like we used to. I love the garden, but I just can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of being such a little kid; it’s time for me to grow up. No more fairy tales. I’m sorry, Grace. But it’s time for good-bye. –Rose

I finally arranged the rocks the way I wanted them, but I hated it. Frustrated and tired, I gave up. I went inside the cottage.

After Rose stopped coming to the cottage, I came less and less. It wasn’t the same way without my best friend. She stopped coming the summer before sophomore year. I know why, she was unhappy with herself. Freshman year hit her hard. The senior girls were cruel to us, Rose in particular. I never really understood why.

Rose took it hard and a little too personal. She distanced herself from me that summer, and we hadn’t been the same way since. When she came back for school that autumn, she completely changed. The clothes I was so used to seeing her in were gone, her hair had highlights and lowlights and was manageable and actually pretty, she wore make-up, and she lost a lot of weight.

Rose was never an overweight person, but she looked good. She did it. She got people to stop teasing her and calling her names. In fact, she went above and beyond. She got popular.

I was never popular.

Nope, that wasn’t me. I mean, I wasn’t exactly what you would call an outcast either. I had my friends, and that was all I needed. I had a boyfriend sophomore year; I had grown out of my silly crush on Rory. It helped that I didn’t see him as much. That boyfriend didn’t last long though.
Rose had boyfriends, a lot of them. I wasn’t jealous of her. She would and always will be my best friend. She didn’t realize that though.

I sat on the chair in the kitchen. We had put cheap, plastic plates and bowls that we found at Target in the cabinets. We probably used them once. The hearth was dusty and had ashes left over from a long time ago. We must have lit that fire a hundred times. We roasted s’mores and everything.

I climbed that ladder into the loft. I ran my hand along the dust-covered pillows and canopy. It was then that I noticed something shiny on the floor beside the one, large mattress. I picked up it and gazed at it, remembering a once happy time.

August 30, 2002

“Gracie, come on! I have something for you!”

“What is it, Rose?”

“Just come to the garden! We can swim later.”

I took my feet out of the cool water, and found Gracie sitting in the middle of the garden. She looked so peaceful and almost elegant sitting amongst the flowers and butterflies.

“I got us something!”

“Us?”

“Yes, us.”

“What is it?”

“Close your eyes!”

“Rose-“

“Shush.”

I closed my eyes, and Rose took my hand and fixed a cold chain around my wrist.

“Open!”

I looked down at my wrist and saw a silver charm bracelet with a small clasp. The bracelet had two charms, a tiny silver butterfly and a small circle with the inscription My Butterfly Best Friend.

“Rose, you shouldn’t have-“

“This is a birthday present. I know it’s a month early, but I wanted to give it to you while school was still out and we were still able to come to the garden.”

“Well, I-I…um, thank you.”

I pulled her close for a hug, smiling at my new bracelet.

“They’re a matching set! I have one, too,” she said as she dangled it in front of my face.

“I’m going to put it in the cottage for safe keeping while we swim.”

“Good idea; put mine there too!”

I ran inside the cottage and placed the bracelets gently on the table, then went to join Rose at the pond.

Looking at the bracelet in my hand, I couldn’t tell if it was mine or hers. I assumed it was hers since she had abandoned the garden all together. She had probably left it there as a symbol of good-bye.

Everything suddenly became too much for me. And for the first time since Rose told me good-bye, I cried for my best friend.