Falling With No Grace

Fuck Andy! Fuck him and all of them. How dare he? Thoughts of hate and bitter anger stir in my mind. How could someone like that be with someone so angelic like Ashley? Oh, Ashley... Just his name in my mind sends me into a frenzy. From those sweet, seductive eyes to his talented fingers, I just love everything about him. Why isn't he mine?!

"Hey, Hunter, you okay?" Jake, that ugly, annoying fucker asks, looking at me with concern in his eyes. No, asshole, I'm not fucking okay!

"Yeah, I'm fine. Andy and I just got into a little fight, nothing major." I lie through my teeth, faking a winning smile.

"Oh, is everything okay?" CC says, looking a little apprehensive. I roll my eyes internally. No, you piece of shit, it's not. Get the fuck away!

"Yeah. We're good now." If only I didn't have to be nice to these losers. All of them are so fucking stupid. Why does perfect Ashley associate with them? I don't understand. "But, he said he wants you guys back now, so..."

"Oh, really?" Jake says, picking up his guitar. "C'mon CC, let's go." CC nods, grabbing his drumsticks in his grubby hands and following Jake to the door. "Bye Hunter, bye Drake!" The front door slams, signaling their absence. Thank fucking God!

"Oh, my god! It's about time they left!" I exclaim, throwing myself into a chair and sighing. "I don't know how much more of them I can take."

"That's mean, Hunter. They're nice people!" Drake's scolding voice comes from the corner where he's putting away his drumsticks. My eyes roll. Drake may be my best friend, but he's such a sucker. I shake my head.

"They're fucking annoying! How do you stand them? You know I'm only nice to them because, for some reason, you like them." Why he likes those gross motherfuckers, I'll never know.

"I can stand them because they're nice, good, funny people. Why I stand you, on the other hand, is the real question." He says, giving me a shut-the-fuck-up look.

"You love me, that's why." I say, batting my eyelashes playfully. Drake laughs, shaking his head.

"Sure, Hunter. That's it."

"It is!" We laugh. Suddenly, a frown forms on my face. "But you know what I don't understand? Why Ashley hangs out with them...?"

"Oh, here we go..." Drake murmurs. He slumps onto the couch, a bored expression on his face. "Dude, let it go. Ash isn't into you. He's so obviously into Andy. This obsession isn't healthy."

"Shut up, it's not an obsession!" Heat boils in the pit of my stomach, bitter anger. "Andy Andy doesn't love Ashley like I do. Ashley should be mine!" I growl. Ashley, beautiful Ashley. With his long hair and gorgeous smile. How could something so precious want something as disgusting as Andy? It can't be so, I won't allow it.

"Yeah, totally not an obsession. Yup, you've got me." He mocks me, cocking an eyebrow and raising his hands in mock-defense. I roll my eyes again. Drake knows how much I love Ashley. Ever since I met him, all I'd do was talk about him. At first, Drake was actually really cool with it. He gave me advice and support. Now he think's I've dove off the deep end.

"Come on, Drake! Haven't you ever been so in love with someone that you'd do anything to be with them?" I ask, standing in fornt of his sitting figure. Why doesn't he understand how in love with Ashley I am?

"Yeah, but that isn't what this is! This is you seeing something you pretty you can't have and wanting it." He says, still disbelieving. I throw my hands up in exasperation. "Admit it, Hunter! All you think, talk and practically fucking breathe is Ashley! That isn't healthy!"

"Who are you to say what's damn healthy or not?!" I growl, the venom clear in my voice. Oh, now, I'm pissed. He doesn't know anything! "Just back the fuck out of my relationship!"

Drake stares at me, eyes bugging and jaw dropped in disbelief. "What relationship?! You and Ashley aren't in a relationship! You are fucking deluding yourself, bro. Time to wake up." He stands up, throwing me another look and walks into the kitchen area. I slam myself down on a couch, a scowl drawn across my face.

"You're just jealous you don't have a love like me and Ash, you dick!" I yell. That has to be it. Right? No other reason.

I hear him scoff. "He doesn't love you, cuntbag." Drake screams back.

"Not yet!" I say, leaning back onto a cushion. "But he will!" Drake sighs and stays silent, probably fed up with me. Oh well, that's what he gets for doubting me.

The door to the bus opens and Ariel and Maria walk in, hugs smiles on their faces and hands clasped together. I look away, envious. Why can't I be like that with Ashley?

"Hey, Hunt." Ariel says, her trilling voice breaking the silence with ease. "What's up?"

I half-smile at her. "Not much, how was breakfast?"

She smiles, looking at Maria and blushing. Maria winks at her, an equally happy expression on her face. "It was great, just as always."

Maria blushes back. "Awwh, baby!" She leans in and kisses Ariel firmly on the mouth. Ariel closes her eyes and wraps her arms around Maria's neck. I shudder. Ugh, this is sickening.

"Guys, ew, break it up!" I cover my face with my hands. I don't need them making out in front of me right now. I'm so fucking jealous of them. That should be me and Ashley. They're so lucky it actually hurts.

Ariel looks at me dishearteningly while Maria shoots me a glare. "Why? What's wrong with you?" Maria snorts. Ugh, here we go. Ever since she found out about the secret kisses and touches between me and Ashley, she's been really angry with me. She told me not to get between him and Andy. Like fuck I'll actually do that.

"I don't need you two kissing in front of me and making me feel worse about Ashley and I." Ariel gives me a sympathetic frown as Maria rolls her eyes. She wants Andy and Ashley together, that bitch. She just doesn't want me to be happy. At least Ariel feels bad.

"Sorry, Hunter." Ariel whispers, coming to sit next to me. Maria just scoffs and walks to her and Ariel's room. Ariel just stares after her with a torn look in her eyes. I hold back my laughter. Ariel's just so easy to fool.

"It's okay, Ariel. Drake's been a jerk to me today, too." She looks to the kitchen, where Drake is making coffee, and then to the floor. Her eyes hold guilt in them. I smirk silently, knowing I've got her. She's too kind and innocent; an easy target. "Why doesn't anyone understand? Haven't you ever felt like this about anyone?" I ask. I jerk my head in the direction of the bunks. "Maria, maybe?" Ariel's eyes widen, biting her lower lip. A blush covers her face.

"W-Well I never obsessed about--" she stutters.

"I am not obsessed!" I yell in her face, making her shrink back. Ugh, for coming off as such a badass onstage, she's such a baby. Fear shines in her eyes. I growl. "Why does everyone doubt us?! We're not together yet, but we will be! Did anyone doubt you and Maria? Huh? Did anyone even care? No! So why doesn't everyone just--"

"Hunter!" Maria shouts, cutting off my screamed rant. We look to her, silence overtaking the room. I've got to hand it to her, she knows how to command a group. Maria's face flushes in anger as she glares at me. I hear quiet whimpers and see Ariel crying silent tears from her seat on the couch next to me. Happiness overcomes me, that bitch fucking deserves it. Maria looks to her withering girlfriend and her eyes soften, rushing over to her side. She takes a shaking Ariel into her arms.

"Hunter..." Maria snarls out, eyes flashing at me. "You have gotten out of control. This has to stop. I'm giving you two choices now." She reluctantly lets go of her still tearing girlfriend and comes up to me, grabbing me by the collar of my shirt. "Either shut the fuck up or get your shit and get out. I'm not putting up with your crap anymore. This has got to end. At first it was cute, but this is out of hand. Don't you fucking ever dare," she growls, slapping me across the face, "make my beautiful girlfriend cry. No more. Give up or get out." Ow! That fucking bitch!

I smile innocently at her, my cheek throbbing. "You wouldn't dare kick me out of this band. No one can replace me and you know it."

"Wanna bet?" she smirks. My smile evaporates. "I can get Jake Pitts to cover for us while we find a replacement for you. Just watch. Don't think that we can't find another guitarist. There are plenty of people just like you who would kill to be in this position. Remember that."

Worry builds up inside me. As much as I fucking love Ashley, I can't get kicked out of this band.What else would I do? And, being on tour is the only way I ever see him. Ugh, this is a problem.

"W-Well, Drake wouldn't let you do that. He's my best friend; if I go, he goes, too."

"Actually, no." Drake says, carrying in a mug of coffee, My eyes widen in shock at his words as he casually takes a sip from the blue mug in his callused hands. "You'd leave and I'd stay. I agree with Maria. You've gotten out of control. If you really love Ashley, why can't you let him be happy?"

I stare in shock, mouth agape at their words. "So that's it? Love or music? You're all sick!" I get up off the couch, glaring at them all, sending en especially dirty look at Drake. "Even you? Some best friend you are." Maria doesn't avert her deadly eyes from me. Drake bites his lip, upset.

"Hey don't you point fingers at me. I really don't want you gone, buddy." I scoff. "Really, I don't. I just don't want any part of..this!! This isn't okay, bro. You've changed!" Drake shrugs helplessly, looking lost. I glare at him once more, then turn to face the burning gaze of Maria.

"You even turned my best friend against me. Are you happy now?" I snarl at her. How dare she? All to keep me from my beloved.

"I didn't turn him against you, you did that yourself." She comes over to me and sighs, dropping her venomous glare at last. "Look, Hunter, we just want our friend back! That's all. You have changed, and it's not good. We miss how you used to be before you met Ashley. I miss the Hunter that would stay up all night and watch slasher movies with us and chase us around with nerf guns. What happened to that Hunter?"

They all look at me with depressed eyes. Maria frowns at me, but not in anger this time. I cast another look at them all, then sigh. "I didn't realize I'd changed that much. I-I'm sorry, guys." I look down, away from them. Thin, long arms wrap around me sweetly and I look up into Ariel's amber eyes.

"It's okay, Hunter. We just miss our best friend, y'know?" You can still see the traces of tears on her face. I nod, letting a few of my own fall down my cheeks. "Awh, no, Hunter, don't cry! It's okay." She hugs me tighter and I rest my head on her shoulder. Suddenly, I feel two more sets of arms wrap around me. Maria and Drake. I let more tears escape.

"It's okay, I forgive you." Drake mumbles into my hair, nuzzling my head. He always does that when we make up after a fight. He's always been a softie. I let out a choked laugh.

"I forgive you too, buddy." Maria whispers. "I still love you, don't forget that. You're not getting rid of me that easily. We just miss you."

I nod, sniffling. "I-I'm sorry guys. It wont happen again, I promise. I love y-you guys too much t-to lose you." Ariel softly 'aww's in my ear. We hug, tangled in each other, and stay for a while. I can tell they've really forgiven me.

Those saps.

Like I actually care what they say. A few forced tears and fake apologies and suddenly I everything is as it was? I don't want Ashley anymore? I'm not in love?

Um...no.

That's not how it works, not how it's going to ever work. My sweet, perfect Ashley is far too valuable than that. As if I'd ever give him up. He's mine, whether he knows it or not. But what to do about Andy...?