Falling With No Grace

I lean against the cool wall, raising a lit cig to my lips. I watch, entertained, as the grey smoke swirls beautifully from my puckered lips and disappears from sight. I pull my light leather jacket closer to my slender body as a slight chill brushes against me from the wind. It's nice out here, the stars hung high in the inky sky , caught there by invisible threads that are just out of reach. They're beautiful, the stars. I stand there, watching them shine in the dark night, wishing that Ashley were here with me to stare at them with me. He might be a little rough around the edges, but I know he's a sucker for this romantic stuff. Honestly, so am I.

Caught in my daze, I almost don't notice the door next to me that leads to the backstage of whatever venue we're at open up. I look, seeing Maria come through the passageway. She smiles at me, holding up a lighter. "Want some company?" I smile over at her, nodding. She skips over to me, leaning on the wall just to my left. "Thanks." She pulls out a fresh cig of her own, placing it between her lips and lighting it. "You know, I haven't really seen you around."

I nod, pulling my light from my lips. "I know. I'm sorry, I've been sort of preoccupied."

"With Ashley?" She asks. I look at her, raising an eyebrow. She smirks. "Yeah, I know you're together. Hunter was throwing a bitch fit about it." I groan, rolling my eyes. She chuckles. "Ha, I know. We shut him up though. We're just as sick of it as you are."

I laugh. I'm sure we're all sick of it. "Thanks. He's so hung up on Ashley; that needs to stop."

"Definitely." She agrees. She turns to me. "So, do the others know about you guys?"

I nod. "We told them last week. They were really cool about it; it was great!" I smile, peacefulness filling me. "It feels good, not having secrets between my brothers. I hate hiding anything from them, we're family."

"Brothers? You're that close?" She asks. I nod, grinning. She smiles slightly. "That's great. You guys must be extremely close."

"Yeah." I say. We stand there in silence for a while, blowing quietly on our cigarrettes. "You know, I did miss you."

"I know." She says, looking up at me. "I missed you, too." Her phone beeps suddenly. She grabs it, sliding it open and reading the text she's received. A soft smile lightly graces her lips for a split second. "It's Ariel." She pockets her phone. "She needs me for a second. It was nice hanging out with you, Andy." She leans up and kisses my cheek. A shock runs through my at the simple touch, leaving a tingle on my skin as she flips her long, perfectly straight hair and walks away. I watch after her, staring until the door swings shut for the final time.

My mind races. What was that? I rub my cheek, attempting to rid myself of the tingling feeling still tickling the skin there. I stomp out my cig, thinking. Well, I did have a crush on her before... maybe it's still there. Let's face it, she is stunning. But what about Ashley? I care for him more. I sigh, rubbing my eyes. Maria and I wont amount to anything. It's Ashley I really care about.

The door swings open again. CC's head sticks out, a grin forming on his face. "Hey, loner. Get inside, the show's about to start." I grin, following him inside.

"Shut up, CC." I walk with him to the equipment room, grabbing my microphone. As I go towards the stage, I see Jinxx, Jake, and Ash all talking and tuning their guitars quickly. Ash looks up and smiles, throwing me a wink. I feel my face flush and my heart race, every bit the lovesick schoolgirl I truly am for him. I wink back, watching his grin grow. My pulse stutters a little at his stunning smile. Fuck Maria; she couldn't ever compare to Ashley.

"Meet you onstage." I call over to them, going towards the entrance. I hear a chorus of agreements from behind me. Grabbing my microphone, I stand by, waiting for my cue before strutting out into the spotlight.

*Time Lapse*

CC and Jake are the first offstage, waving to the crowd before rushing off. They're probably going to find some restaurant. Jinxx and I wait for Ashley who's putting away his bass for The Unashamed to use. Quickly, we scramble offstage.

"That was an awesome show, guys!" Ashley says, the energy from the performance rolling off of him in waves.

"I know, seriously! The crowd was amazing. I wish we didn't have to get off." I said. The crowd had swayed and danced to every song, screaming every lyric right back at us. We even crowd-surfed. They were one of our best audiences ever.

"Definitely!" Jinxx laughs in agreement. He pulls out his phone, throwing us an excited smile. "I'm gonna go call Sammi. I should check on her."

"Tell her we say 'hi'." Ash calls after him as he walks down the hall. He turns down the corridor and out of sight, leaving me and Ashley standing alone. Ash turns to me, eyes locking with mine.

"You were great today, you know." He says, admiration in his eyes. I blush. "They always love you."

"It was just a great crowd, but thanks. That means a lot to me." I smile at him gratefully. He turns lightly red.

"No problem, Andy." he smiles. I lean in, putting my hand on his cheek and kissing his plump lips, a sudden need for his mouth on mine taking over me. His lips move in sync with mine, tongues touching in the most brilliant way as we pull each other closer. A small whimper escapes me as Ashley ever-so-lightly bites down on my lower lip. I grab his chin gently and force his lips harder against mine, feeling my pulse gallop throughout me. What does this boy do to me?

Ashley chuckles. "Eager, aren't we?" he mumbles against my mouth.

I smile against his lips. "For you? Always." I feel Ashy's face heat up against mine, a barely audible 'awwh' coming from him. I swear, we're too cutesy for our own good.

"I love you." he mumbles as he kisses me lightly. I frown slightly, biting my lip as my heart stutters out a quick rhythm. I love that he says he loves me so often, but it kills me that I can't say it back. But I will, soon. I know it. Am I hurting him?

"Ashley..." I say, trailing off. What do I say?

"You don't have to say anything." he says, smiling up at me. "I don't expect you to. I'm just reminding you. You can say it back when you're ready, but until then, I just want to say it. I don't want you to forget it." My heart stops at his sweet words, and I'm rendered speechless. What did I do to deserve such a beautiful, perfect person? Surely he deserves better than me. He takes my hands in his, making my pulse race so hard I swear he can hear it. How can I prove to him how much I care about him after that? Wait...

I take my hands from Ashley's, then grab his by his wrist. Placing it over my heart, I let him feel his effect on me. "Do you feel that? My heart?"

Ash nods, a look of wonder and shock crossing his face. "Yes." he whispers.

I lean down, kissing his cheek, keeping his hand firmly on my heart. "This is what you're doing to me. This is what you always do to me. Just thinking of you gets me like this." He meets my eyes, unspeaking, waiting for me to continue. "I'm always like this around you. I've never been like this with anyone else. And... I never want to feel like this about anyone else." I watch Ashley's eyes as emotions flit across them - love, wonder, disbelief.

After a moment of just staring into each other's eyes, he gently takes one of my hands and delicately presses it against his chest, too. I smile in slight shock and complete delight to feel his rapid heartbeat - just as quick and as desperate as mine. "You do the same to me, Andy."

Happiness fills me entirely. He's... he's too perfect for me. I lean down and kiss him once more, slowly and beautifully. We belong together.

"Ew. Gag!" We break away, the beautiful, pure moment completely gone now. We remove out hands from the other's chests and turn to see a pair of scowling eyes headed our way. Hunter.

"What do you want?" I scowl as he walks closer, a displeased expression etched onto his face. Of course he'd ruin that precious moment; he would just happen to show up.

He looks in between us, grimacing. "Nothing, just enjoying the view... ew." He laughs. "You know, that was so gross it was painful. Get over each other already."

"You're just jealous you dont have someone like we do." Ashley growls, pointedly glaring at Hunter. Hunter's eyes soften, features instantly calming as he looks to Ash. I cock an eyebrow. Regardless of what Hunter's been doing, he definitely has a soft spot for Ashley, thats for sure. Maybe he even does really care about him.

"I could, baby." I cringe. Baby?! "We could! Why can't you see how much I need you?" he pleads. I feel my blood simmer in my veins. Oh, fuck off!

"I could care less!" Ashley bites out. Hunter's face falls. "You need to leave me the fuck alone! I don't want you. Get over it! Why are you so obsessed with me?!" The sound of Ash's screaming hurts my ears. I watch as Hunter's expression hardens, anger clear on his face.

"Baby, if this is because Andy's here, there's no need to lie anymore. It's okay. You can be with me!" He locks his gaze with Ashley, pleading with his eyes. I wont have this!

I walk up to Hunter, looming over him, blocking Ashley from his view. "Isn't there somewhere you need to be?" I glare into his widening eyes. "You should be onstage, not bothering us. Remember what I told you before. Remember our little talk?" He gulps, nodding up at me with pure hatred in his eyes. He tries to stand tall, but compared to me he looks like the frail child he truly is. "Good. Now, unless you want to have another 'talk', you should get the fuck away. No one wants you here." I hiss in his face.

I walk back to Ashley, watching Hunter's reaction. His face is completely passive, not letting a single expression show. I smirk, putting my hand on Ash's waist, leading him away. "Come on, Ashley. Let's go." We start walking down the hall.

"Fuck you, Andy!" Hunter screams from way behind us. I turn in time to see him charge at me, hands balled into fists in front of him. Just as he pulls his arm back to punch me, a hand reaches across my view and slaps Hunter across the face. What?

"Fuck you, Hunter! Back off my friends!" CC yells, pulling back his hand yet holding it out, threatening to slap him again. I grin widely. Go CC! I love him! CC walks in front of me and Ashley, creating a barrier and glowering at the stunned guitarist. With a quick draw of his hand, he pushes Hunter back, causing him to fall, stumbling. "Get onstage. You're such a dick! Back away and stop bothering them, unless you want to deal with me." Hunter sends CC a venomous glare, then gets up, turning around in a huff as he walks away while mumbling to himself.

CC stares after him, a distasteful glower stitched onto his face. Then, he smiles, turning to face us. "So, what's going on guys?" After a stunned second, Ashley bursts into laughter. A smile spreads onto my face. Oh, CC...