In the Silence

“Do you want to pick up your things and go to my house? Or…I don’t know. Whatever you want to do.” Staying at Alex’s house for the time being was going to be…weird. I would be staying in a house with a male. My dad and…brother didn’t count, they were just family, you know? I felt the heat rise to my face as Alex and I walked to his car.

“Uh…let’s just pick it up now. Hopefully no one’s home.” I could tell he wanted to press the subject; to ask about what was going on. But he didn’t. He respected my privacy, which I really appreciated. Besides, we still barely knew each other. Sure, we were childhood friends, but we hadn’t seen each other in years. He was a grown guy now. Well, maybe he had the mentality of a 12 year old boy, but, he had the—

Can we not think about his body right now, Jasey? It’d be best to not feel even more awkward around the guy. God damn.

Anyway, from what I know of him so far, he’s a great guy. He’s a bit stupid and sarcastic, and probably arrogant, but he’s nice to me, and he’s funny, and he seems like a good friend. So maybe this whole arrangement will go a little bit smoother.

After picking up a couple of things from my house, which thankfully was parent free, we made our way to his house. The car rides weren’t awkward, because we both sang along to music and laughed. A lot of talking didn’t go on, but I was okay with that.

“Well, we’re here. I warn you, Jasey, my mom’s going to be ecstatic when she sees you.” I laughed at his statement, trying to rack my brain for memories of his mom. There were light, fuzzy memories, but nothing too helpful. I bit back my frustrated growl.

“Mom? We’re here.” His door opened with a light creak and we made our way through. He, nicely, held a few of my bags and I hid shyly behind him as we walked. His house was large and beautiful, almost Victorian, but it had its modern touches.

A woman with a short build and short hair came dashing out of what I think was the kitchen in an apron.

“Alexander! Welcome home! Now step aside, let me see Jasey!” She was clearly British, and she had this warm, comforting feel to her. I heard Alex chuckle.

“Thanks mom, I love you too, really. Your affection is deeply appreciated.” She ignored his dramatic display of clutching his heart and scooted him over, and suddenly I was self-conscious. Parents never liked my pink hair, or my love for skinny jeans. My hair wasn’t looking so lovely either; I hadn’t really slept the night before. Chewing on my lip, my icy blue eyes met her warm brown ones for a split second before she pulled me into a hug. Her hug was warm and loving, and she wasn’t judging me at all.

“Jasey dear! Oh my, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you! You’ve grown so much, and you’re so beautiful! No wonder Alexander has been coming home happier!” I saw Alex’s face turn almost purple and he let out a string of words I couldn’t understand. It was comical and cute, though; even though I knew I surely wasn’t the reason.

“I hope your friendship can go back to how it was, dear! You two were the cutest!” She went on, avoiding Alex’s choking signals. I managed a smile and nod in ever so often as she showed me around the house, Alex trailing behind like a lost puppy. I’m guessing it’s because he wanted to negate any statements she said about him. I chuckled.

“And here is your room, sweetheart. It’s a little…plain, but it’s our only guest bedroom. I hope it’s okay.” It was no cozy attic, but it was lovely. The walls were a crème color, and the furniture and bed sheets were different shades of brown. I felt like I was sitting in a coffee cup, minus the scent.

“It’s lovely. Thank you, Mrs. Gaskarth.” She smiled and gave me another bone crushing hug before hurrying down the stairs, muttering about dinner. I set my bags down as Alex stood in the door way awkwardly. It was funny; seeing him awkward. He’s usually the cocky, amusing one. I grinned.

“Your mom’s lively.” He laughed at that, and I could tell he felt a bit better. We made small talk and he teased me a bit, just like he did at school. It felt nice; not worrying about my parents. The second he left, however, I collapsed on the bed, exhausted. I hadn’t slept last night, and I was really feeling it.

It was nice in here, with the smell of dinner wafting in through the mostly closed door. I heard Alex and his mom chuckling downstairs, and I briefly wondered where the father was. My nerves sped up a little; just because the mom liked me, didn’t mean the dad would. How long was I here for, anyway? Was mom and dad just dumping me off—

Calm down, Jasey. You know they’re trying to sort things out. I cooled myself off by focusing on the physics homework I got. It was all relatively easy, and I flew through the rest of my homework with no problem. By the time I knew it, Alex was dragging me down for dinner.

∆∆∆

I met Mr. Gaskarth at the dinner table, and he was a good guy. I could see where Alex got his comic side. He had a think accent, and it made a smile rest on my lips. I loved listening to accents; they were so interesting. I was relatively quiet during the dinner, like I’ve grown to become. I did answer all questions that were asked, but I could tell everyone was being respectful; even Alex. He would shoot goofy faces at me from time to time, and I felt like a little kid again.

“Jasssssseeeyyyyy, can you help me with my hoommmeewoorrrkkk?” Alex poked his head in through my door and I peeked up at him through a book. His words were whiney and drawn out, and I grinned.

“Do I get anything in return?” His eyebrow rose at my statement and he sauntered into my room, and for a brief moment I thought we were flirting. We weren’t, though. That’d just be…weird.

“You get to suck my dick?”

“Alex!” I laughed, saying his name in a hushed tone. “That’s so gross, your parents are down stairs!” He was grinning as he flopped down on the end of my bed, shrugging.

“They can’t hear me. Besides, I’m only in here for help with physics. You’re in honors, and Cassadee, Kelly, Rian, or Zack won’t help me!!” he was pouting, and I fought to keep the smile off my face. There was just something about talking to Alex; he made everything flow, no matter what you talked to him about.

“What about Jack?” I inquired, making a mental note of my book page and shutting it softly, setting it to the side. Alex looked at me with a blank stare.

“Jack is about as smart as a golden retriever. He’ll get you a stick if you throw it. And he’ll shit and piss on command. That’s about it.” I couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled in my throat, and I clutched my stomach at the statement because, as much as I didn’t know the kid yet, it seemed totally possible.

“If you can laugh and joke like this, why’re you always so quiet?” his question caught me off guard and my laughter came to an abrupt halt as I looked at him. He tried to seem nonchalant, but I could tell he was mad at himself for saying anything.

To be honest, I really did want to respond. Let him know that the question didn’t bug me, or stump me. That I wasn’t at a loss for words, because I lost a brother and I didn’t know how to get that out of my mind. I didn’t know how to voice any of my thoughts, so I simply sat there, and we stared at each other. Finally, I broke out of my odd silence.

“Maybe because I don’t have anyone who really wants to listen.” He winced and I realized I made him feel even worse. Cursing my bad luck I shrugged it off and grinned, hoping he got the hint that it was okay. Well, it wasn’t, but that wasn’t his fault.

“P-Physics, right? What do you need help with?” My voice cracked, but Alex was relieved, I could tell, that something else came out of my mouth. I mustered up my best grin, willing myself to act normal. He probably thought I was a freak.

The moment was forgotten and we laughed and did his homework together, and it was…well, it was kind of nice. I hadn’t had a friend in a long time, and someone to laugh with was great.

“Kids? It’s great to see you doing homework, but it’s getting late. Alex, I’m sure Jasey is exhausted, you should get some sleep okay?” Mrs. Gaskarth’s head poked into the room and I felt my cheeks heat up, wondering how the time could’ve went by so quickly. Alex sprung to his feet and rubbed his neck, almost like he was thinking the same thing.

“You’re right, it’s almost 1. Sorry mom. But I think I finally get some physics!” Alex beamed, and I saw her role her eyes.

“That’s great, tell me about it in the morning. Goodnight, Jasey dear.” She blew a kiss in my direction and left, leaving Alex awkwardly the my doorway again.

“Well uh…goodnight,” he started, inching toward the door. With his normal Alex-self, he continued. “Don’t have too many naughty dreams about me.” And with a wink, he was gone.

Stupid, cocky, self absorbed boys.