Status: slow.
Fidelity
two
Maria takes a long swig from her wine glass. I open my mouth, but she holds out a finger. She raises her hand to get attention from the waiter. “More red wine, please. In fact, just leave the bottle on the table.”
I furrow my brow. “What has gotten into you? No one drinks during the day.”
“It's known as day drinking, and I think I'm allowed to. Being a lawyer in New York City isn't glamorous.” She let out a long sigh. “I have this client today who makes me want to hang myself.”
“You certainly will with that attitude.”
“Anyway, tell me about your escort.”
“What about him?”
“Why were you two in such a hurry to leave?”
“It was four in the morning!”
“Well?”
I take in a deep breath. What did happen? Nothing out of the ordinary. Just him being a gentleman. A sweetheart. “He kissed me.” Wasn't that it? Nothing else happened, from what I could recall.
“What is this, middle school?”
“...What do you mean?”
“Luxie, what else happened?”
“Nothing.”
We separately pay for lunch, and she walks back to the office. I go to the coffee shop next door to grade papers; everything seems to be back to normal. No friends anywhere, except Maria. And occasionally Natalie and Sonya, if they weren't too busy. I finish half of the writing exercises and instead walk into the record store. The turntable I found in an alley on my way home from NYU actually worked fine, and I started getting back into records.
“Lux?”
I raise my eyebrows and turn around.
“You, um, you look uncomfortable.” Andrew smiles slightly.
“Oh. Um.” I hold up the album in my hand. The Vibrators? Really? I quickly shove it back into the row of vinyl behind me. “It's nice to see you.”
“I didn't know you listened to vinyl.”
“Same to you.” I reach for a Velvet Underground record. Anything but the Vibrators. “What brings you here?”
He holds up what he was holding under his arm. “Records.”
I shut my eyes. “...Right.”
“So, um, what are you up to?”
“I'm supposed to be grading papers, but I'm taking a break.” How long had the break been? Too long. I have so many papers to look over and comment on; I need to absorb the pieces to have things to discuss during class. What am I doing here? “But I've got to get back to my house, so I'll see you later.”
“Do you want to meet up later for dinner?” he asks. I hand the cashier five bucks. “I mean, if you're not busy tonight.”
“Sure. Sounds great.” I pull out a pen from my purse and motion for him to give me his hand. I gently write my number on his palm. “Call me about the details.” The walk sign blinks, and I wave goodbye.
On the couch, I put on some vinyl and curl up on the couch. I chew on the tip of my pen as I read the rest of the assignments. I flip my phone open and closed. I anxiously finish reading the assignments and go upstairs to take a shower.
I try to use the curling iron, but instead of having loose, beautiful curls, I have frizzy ringlets. I straighten it back out. The phone buzzes, and I burn my finger, dropping the blow dryer into the sink. I unplug it and answer the phone, index finger in my mouth. “Hello?”
“...Hello? Lux? You should muffled.”
I pull the finger out of my mouth. “What's up?”
“I just wanted to let you know that I'll be picking you up in an hour, and we're going to a nice Indian restaurant, if that's okay with you.”
“Sounds great.”
“All right. See you in an hour.”
“Bye.”
I change into ten different outfits, and finally pick the last dress I try on. I grab my purse and hold my heels as I descend the stairs. A strong knock comes from the door. Andrew's dressed in skinny jeans and a t-shirt. He smiles. “You look nice.”
“Thanks.”
At dinner, we laugh nervously. He has beautiful jade green eyes, and something about them is so captivating. He plays with his curls nervously, unraveling them and letting them spring back into place. Andrew smiles shyly. “So, what were you grading papers for?”
“Class. I have a teaching job.” Should I ask him about his job? Do I even want to know? "Any lucky ladies?”
He furrows his brow for a second. “Not that I know of.”
“I see.”
“I know it's weird that I'm...you know.” He tugs at a lock of hair. “Does it bother you?”
“No! No, not at all.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
“Because I think you're really interesting.”
I purse my lips. “You know, the word 'interesting' can mean many different things.”
“I mean it in a good way.” His face flushes slightly. “I mean, I find you fascinating. You like records, and you write, and you understand things.”
“...It's so hard to find someone else like that, isn't it?” I push my curry around on the plate. “Someone who really gets everything, someone who really...I dunno. You can see it in their eyes, though. Something about them. It's like they know everything about you in one glance.”
“And it's scary. It's scary not to have any secrets.” Andrew glances up at me. “You have that.”
“I do?”
“Yeah.” He smiles. “It's good to know someone else out there is like that too.”
On our way back to my shitty townhouse...actually, we pass it instead and drive around the neighborhood. From outside, you can see the silhouettes of families eating dinner, hear the sound of television, the soft glow of chandelier lights. We watch everyone live their lives, and I silently thank them for inviting us in, even if it is unintentional. We often forget that other people live too, and that we share a world with people we don't know.
Andrew rolls down the windows of his car, and we feel the breeze as we drive slowly in and out of the neighborhood. “It's beautiful,” he says as all the streetlamps light up. “I wish everything were just as easy as this.”
“Yeah. Me too.”
Andrew pulls up into my driveway and walks me up the steps. I lean against the door. “I guess this is goodnight,” I say. I smile. “I hope to see you again sometime.”
He nods. “Yeah, definitely.” He flushes. “To tell you the truth, I'm not the smooth guy you met the first time.” He brings his face close to mine. “I, um...” He takes in a deep breath. “I'll see you soon.”
“Yeah.” He descends the steps as I open the door to the townhouse. Inside, it's dark, and I can see the lights from Andrew's car through my window. If I didn't meet the real Andrew the day of my book party, then how am I so sure this is the real Andrew?
>
Maria downs her cosmo and orders another. “Sweetie, why should it matter who he is? He's gorgeous. Just fuck him and send him home.” She takes a swig of a new cosmo. “At least you don't have to pay for it this time.”
“Maria,” I say.
“What?”
“You're drunk.”
“Luxie, you haven't seen drunk yet.” She puts down another empty glass. “Cosmo!” she shouts. “God, this client is killing me. She wants to sue her husband for half his company, because they're getting a divorce.” Maria sighs. “The worst part is, she's never worked a day in her life!” She slams her fist down. "Where's my goddamn cosmo!"
Natalie places a hand on Maria's arm. “Sweetie, you've had plenty.” Natalie turns to look at me. “If you're confused about who he is as a person, then he's probably conflicted too. Besides, in that type of business, he has to be confident and clever; those are things women like in a man. He may have done his job for so long that he's forgotten which characteristics belong to the real Andrew and the faux Andrew.”
“Spoken like a true shrink,” Maria slurs.
“Let's just drink. I'm sick of grading papers.” I stuff the exercises into my bag and lift my cosmo. “To getting out of this hell hole!”
“Huzzah!” shouts Maria.
I furrow my brow. “What has gotten into you? No one drinks during the day.”
“It's known as day drinking, and I think I'm allowed to. Being a lawyer in New York City isn't glamorous.” She let out a long sigh. “I have this client today who makes me want to hang myself.”
“You certainly will with that attitude.”
“Anyway, tell me about your escort.”
“What about him?”
“Why were you two in such a hurry to leave?”
“It was four in the morning!”
“Well?”
I take in a deep breath. What did happen? Nothing out of the ordinary. Just him being a gentleman. A sweetheart. “He kissed me.” Wasn't that it? Nothing else happened, from what I could recall.
“What is this, middle school?”
“...What do you mean?”
“Luxie, what else happened?”
“Nothing.”
We separately pay for lunch, and she walks back to the office. I go to the coffee shop next door to grade papers; everything seems to be back to normal. No friends anywhere, except Maria. And occasionally Natalie and Sonya, if they weren't too busy. I finish half of the writing exercises and instead walk into the record store. The turntable I found in an alley on my way home from NYU actually worked fine, and I started getting back into records.
“Lux?”
I raise my eyebrows and turn around.
“You, um, you look uncomfortable.” Andrew smiles slightly.
“Oh. Um.” I hold up the album in my hand. The Vibrators? Really? I quickly shove it back into the row of vinyl behind me. “It's nice to see you.”
“I didn't know you listened to vinyl.”
“Same to you.” I reach for a Velvet Underground record. Anything but the Vibrators. “What brings you here?”
He holds up what he was holding under his arm. “Records.”
I shut my eyes. “...Right.”
“So, um, what are you up to?”
“I'm supposed to be grading papers, but I'm taking a break.” How long had the break been? Too long. I have so many papers to look over and comment on; I need to absorb the pieces to have things to discuss during class. What am I doing here? “But I've got to get back to my house, so I'll see you later.”
“Do you want to meet up later for dinner?” he asks. I hand the cashier five bucks. “I mean, if you're not busy tonight.”
“Sure. Sounds great.” I pull out a pen from my purse and motion for him to give me his hand. I gently write my number on his palm. “Call me about the details.” The walk sign blinks, and I wave goodbye.
On the couch, I put on some vinyl and curl up on the couch. I chew on the tip of my pen as I read the rest of the assignments. I flip my phone open and closed. I anxiously finish reading the assignments and go upstairs to take a shower.
I try to use the curling iron, but instead of having loose, beautiful curls, I have frizzy ringlets. I straighten it back out. The phone buzzes, and I burn my finger, dropping the blow dryer into the sink. I unplug it and answer the phone, index finger in my mouth. “Hello?”
“...Hello? Lux? You should muffled.”
I pull the finger out of my mouth. “What's up?”
“I just wanted to let you know that I'll be picking you up in an hour, and we're going to a nice Indian restaurant, if that's okay with you.”
“Sounds great.”
“All right. See you in an hour.”
“Bye.”
I change into ten different outfits, and finally pick the last dress I try on. I grab my purse and hold my heels as I descend the stairs. A strong knock comes from the door. Andrew's dressed in skinny jeans and a t-shirt. He smiles. “You look nice.”
“Thanks.”
At dinner, we laugh nervously. He has beautiful jade green eyes, and something about them is so captivating. He plays with his curls nervously, unraveling them and letting them spring back into place. Andrew smiles shyly. “So, what were you grading papers for?”
“Class. I have a teaching job.” Should I ask him about his job? Do I even want to know? "Any lucky ladies?”
He furrows his brow for a second. “Not that I know of.”
“I see.”
“I know it's weird that I'm...you know.” He tugs at a lock of hair. “Does it bother you?”
“No! No, not at all.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
“Because I think you're really interesting.”
I purse my lips. “You know, the word 'interesting' can mean many different things.”
“I mean it in a good way.” His face flushes slightly. “I mean, I find you fascinating. You like records, and you write, and you understand things.”
“...It's so hard to find someone else like that, isn't it?” I push my curry around on the plate. “Someone who really gets everything, someone who really...I dunno. You can see it in their eyes, though. Something about them. It's like they know everything about you in one glance.”
“And it's scary. It's scary not to have any secrets.” Andrew glances up at me. “You have that.”
“I do?”
“Yeah.” He smiles. “It's good to know someone else out there is like that too.”
On our way back to my shitty townhouse...actually, we pass it instead and drive around the neighborhood. From outside, you can see the silhouettes of families eating dinner, hear the sound of television, the soft glow of chandelier lights. We watch everyone live their lives, and I silently thank them for inviting us in, even if it is unintentional. We often forget that other people live too, and that we share a world with people we don't know.
Andrew rolls down the windows of his car, and we feel the breeze as we drive slowly in and out of the neighborhood. “It's beautiful,” he says as all the streetlamps light up. “I wish everything were just as easy as this.”
“Yeah. Me too.”
Andrew pulls up into my driveway and walks me up the steps. I lean against the door. “I guess this is goodnight,” I say. I smile. “I hope to see you again sometime.”
He nods. “Yeah, definitely.” He flushes. “To tell you the truth, I'm not the smooth guy you met the first time.” He brings his face close to mine. “I, um...” He takes in a deep breath. “I'll see you soon.”
“Yeah.” He descends the steps as I open the door to the townhouse. Inside, it's dark, and I can see the lights from Andrew's car through my window. If I didn't meet the real Andrew the day of my book party, then how am I so sure this is the real Andrew?
>
Maria downs her cosmo and orders another. “Sweetie, why should it matter who he is? He's gorgeous. Just fuck him and send him home.” She takes a swig of a new cosmo. “At least you don't have to pay for it this time.”
“Maria,” I say.
“What?”
“You're drunk.”
“Luxie, you haven't seen drunk yet.” She puts down another empty glass. “Cosmo!” she shouts. “God, this client is killing me. She wants to sue her husband for half his company, because they're getting a divorce.” Maria sighs. “The worst part is, she's never worked a day in her life!” She slams her fist down. "Where's my goddamn cosmo!"
Natalie places a hand on Maria's arm. “Sweetie, you've had plenty.” Natalie turns to look at me. “If you're confused about who he is as a person, then he's probably conflicted too. Besides, in that type of business, he has to be confident and clever; those are things women like in a man. He may have done his job for so long that he's forgotten which characteristics belong to the real Andrew and the faux Andrew.”
“Spoken like a true shrink,” Maria slurs.
“Let's just drink. I'm sick of grading papers.” I stuff the exercises into my bag and lift my cosmo. “To getting out of this hell hole!”
“Huzzah!” shouts Maria.