What Separates Me From You

July 10th: Shakopee, MN.
Today my mind couldn’t focus. The work I had to do was all in a blur. Nothing could distract me from my angry thoughts. Joey even tried to crack a joke but when I glared at him he shut up instantly. Jeremy and I still had not talked since Tinley Park. Usually, he would be at my heels by now and trying to reason with me. But he wasn’t even doing that.

I saw him walking around the grounds, nose stuck in his cell phone, typing away his life story to some person on the other line. He even passed my tent a few times without as so much as a glance. It was childish. But who was I to be angry?

I think a part of me was angry at myself, because I stubbornly agreed with him that we should spend time apart. That was stupid. What made him decide we needed ‘space apart’? And who gave him the authority to say that in our friendship?

“Talk to him,” interrupted a voice.

I found Joey watching me with those all seeing eyes. I swear this guy has an XM radio installed in his head that my thoughts were broadcasted to.

“No, Joey,” I replied. “Because that means he wins.”

“I didn’t know you two were playing another one of your games.”

“No! We’re not!” I retorted.

“Then why does it matter if anyone wins or loses?” Joey asked.

“BECAUSE, Joey,” I started. I paused for thought, “just, because! Stop playing your jedi mind tricks on me.”

Joey laughed, “Not tricks, boss. Just advice.”

I frowned, “I don’t need advice.”

Joey laughed, “Sure you don’t.”

I watched as my assistant walked away quietly, knowing that he was right. I should just talk to him. Do I have to say sorry though? I didn’t do anything wrong. I should just talk to him and worry about what to say later.

With that thought, I left my tent in search of Jeremy McKinnon. Tour Bus? No. Food Tent? No. There signing wasn’t for another hour and their set much later than that.

“Merch tent,” I muttered to myself as I automatically walked in direction of their tent.

I rounded the corner of the row of merch tents and froze like a deer in head lights when I saw what was happening at A Day to Remember’s tent. Jeremy was there. And he was laughing. With a girl. A blonde girl, with heavy make up on her face, and trash written all over her. I blinked and tried to remove the image from my mind. She was on his lap. With her arms around his neck. And they were laughing. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t create thoughts.

Jeremy’s gaze left the blonde and met mine for a few seconds. A range of emotions came across his face but they were quickly masked as he returned his attention to the blonde and continued to laugh at what she was saying. She leaned closed to his ear and whispered something which caused him to nod his head.

Still rooted in my spot, I watched as they both stood up and started to walk in my direction.

Fuck, I thought urgently. I fumbled with myself, trying to gain my composure. I pretended to be interested in the merchandise of the tent I was next to. From the corner of my eye, I could see her leading him past me. I brought my gaze up to his and he met mine again, this time with a look of indifference.

My mouth dropped open to say something—to stop them—but nothing came out. Nothing hurt more than that silence. Somehow I pulled myself together and made it back to my van and started to cry. A few minutes later, Joey entered the van.

“Didn’t go well, boss?” he asked sympathetically.

Instead of replying, I grabbed him and hugged him tightly, sobbing into his shoulders. Joey didn’t say anything and just let me cry there for some time. When I finally stopped, I apologized for wetting his shirt.

“He had some groupie all over him,” I said with a certain kind of sadness in my voice that I wasn’t used to.

“Why does that upset you?” Joey asked.

I blinked, “I—I don’t know.”

Joey gave me a knowing smile, “Yes, you do.”

I gave Joey a sad look, “I do?”

“Looks like you do have feelings for Jeremy,” Joey said.

“I do?” I asked again.

“You do,” said a third voice.

My head spun around to the back of the van to see Jeremy standing in between the open back doors. My mouth hung agape and I looked at Joey who gave me the same knowing smile. I couldn’t form words. Why was Jeremy here? Why did have to see me like this?

“I don’t know who that girl is,” Jeremy started.

I frowned, not knowing if those words made me feel any better about the situation.

“But it’s not how it looked like,” he reassured, entering the van. Joey left and Jeremy took his place in front of me. “I asked her to act like that with me. So that you’d see us like that.”

I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to angry or not, “Why?”

“Because I wanted to prove to you that you do have the same feelings for me that I do for you… you just need more convincing than I do,” Jeremy explained.

I blinked, “But then that means…”

Jeremy nodded, “Yep, Joey was in on it.”

“That little bitch…” I muttered under my breath, thinking about how I was going to get back at him.

Jeremy’s laughter brought me back to reality and our gazes locked. I gave him a small smile and threw my arms around his neck. He hugged me back tightly.

“It’s always been you,” Jeremy reassured me. “That whole we-need-space talk at Tinley was supposed to be how I convinced you of your own feelings, but then you took it the wrong way, and so… I had to resort to this second plan. But it’s always been you, Olivia. You’re not mad, are you?”

I released his neck enough so I could look him in the eyes as I shook my head no.

He smiled at me, “So, can I get that kiss now?”

And I kissed him.