Everything I'm Not.

The taste of your lips still linger on mine. The smoke that your lungs endured, had somehow made its way to stick to the clothing that were once yours. Your scent has not left my skin, not yet at least. I feel your every movement, when we are one, our grazing skin finding comfort in one another. The indentations of your form, for ever carved in my mattress, every curve of your body, love, and soul, for ever carved in my heart, as if you had lain there for centuries. As if it were the stars that foretold our destinies, why, they must have cast your mold to fit mine. Every feature: the slight arch of your eyebrows, almost, but not quite meeting in the middle. Your slightly large, almond shaped eyes, held the clearest of clear blue, that grew green around the edges when something had made you upset. The pointed, slim nose, that I, on countless occasions, would press my lips upon. The slight stubble above your lips, that traveled down to your chin and neck, which was almost hardly visible, unless the queen so demanded you looked more mature for your age. Alas, my second most preferred feature, your plump, pink lips, that my own sought to graze in delight.

So it seems your nearly perfect form could never vanish, until she called for you, or until you thought it had been enough time spent with I, before you cowered back to her. This time, your vanishment remained eternal.

Your presence, for ever gone.

The media, our friends, her family, although they did not favor her, gave her more attention, of course, she being your fiance. She, Sam. Sam did not deserve you, and the whole world knew it, but you could never leave her could you? You impregnated her, that was always your excuse.

“Ella, she’s goin’ to ‘ave me’ child, I can’t jus’ leave ‘er. I love yeh and yeh know it, bu’ now’s no’ exactly a good time...”

“Aaron, I KNOW she’s pregnant, I’m not fucking blind, but she’s not the o-”

“No El! Yeh don’t know it. If yeh’d take it into consideration, yeh ‘d make this easier fo’ me, fo’ us!” He shouted, tears falling from his eyes, his hands having a hold on Ella’s face.

“Fine, I’ll make it easier for you.” Ella stood, leaving Aaron to his perfect life, with his perfect fiance. What she didn’t leave him, was a piece of information, that could have changed both of their lives.

Now I watch, as they drop roses on your casket, as they all cry for you, as they all rub Sam on the back and give their condolences. And I watch, all I can do is watch, as they rub her stomach, and I hear. I hear their light conversations, and questions about the baby. And I wish, I wish that they knew, that I was the last person that saw you alive. That the reason your soul has left this earth, was because you were going to make things right, and the other driver ran a red light.

Now Sam is entitled to everything you own, but I have obtained much more. Not only was I the one who truly had your heart, but also you’ve left me with something else as well. I’ve decided to name him after you.