Insecure

Dustyn smiled softly as she watched raindrops dribble down her window. She could remember when she was a child and her and her siblings would pick a raindrop and see which one would make it to the bottom first. It was always a game they played when they were in the car bored with nothing to do. She missed that. She missed the simple things in life that she no longer was able to enjoy, simply because she wasn’t a child anymore. She was a twenty-four-year old woman who was getting married within just weeks.

“Dustyn? Dustyn are you even listening to me?” Zacky Baker, her twenty-eight-year old fiancé asked.

Dustyn turned away from the window and towards Zacky. “Of course, I am.”

Zacky reached over with his free hand and laced his fingers with hers. “Are you excited about dress shopping with Val later on today?”

“Yeah,” She smiled softly, “I’m excited to finally pick out my dress.”

“And I’m excited to see it.”

“Oh no,” She shook her head, a smirk forming at her lips, “You have to wait until I walk down the aisle. It’s tradition and I’m sticking with it.”

Zacky groaned, “I don’t understand this whole tradition shit. It seems stupid to me.”

“It is not!” Dustyn laughed, “And if I do happen to find a dress today, it’s going to be hanging in my closet at my parents house so you can’t sneak a peak.”

“Okay, okay,” He chuckled, “If you want to follow that tradition than we will.”

She smiled, “Thank you, Zacky. It means a lot to me that we do.”

Dustyn breathed out and ran a hand through her chocolate colored curls. She had more than enough on her mind between juggling wedding plans and helping with the Haner Christmas dinner that was coming up in just a matter of four short days. She had so much to do and so little time to do it. However, Dustyn knew that if she got everything done one step at a time, she would be just fine. For today though, Dustyn was spending the first half with Zacky and her family and the second half with Val, Zacky’s mother Maria, and her mother to find a wedding dress. Time was passing quickly, and both Dustyn and Zacky knew that their wedding day was right around the corner.

The date was set, the venue was reserved, the flowers were picked, the bridesmaid dresses were chosen, and everything else was being taken care of by her mother and Zacky’s mothers. All Dustyn needed was her dress, and then she could relax until the week before the wedding.

“I hope Papa Gates and Suzy aren’t too angry at us for being late,” Zacky said just as they pulled into the driveway of the Haner household.

“I doubt it,” Dustyn shook her head, “I’m sure Brian is irritated though. You know mom won’t let them eat until everyone’s here and together.”

He laughed and turned off the ignition. The two of them climbed out of Zacky’s vehicle and headed up the driveway hand in hand past everyone else’s cars. The Haner family was getting together for an early lunch before Dustyn, Suzy, Maria, and Val headed out for dress shopping. Dustyn wasn’t particularly excited about the family lunch, but it was nice being around everyone. Zacky on the other hand didn’t mind one bit. He loved the Haner family, and their gatherings were usually pretty interesting.

Dustyn breathed out as she reached down and tugged her shirt away from her stomach slightly. It was something she did all the time and never really noticed. However, Zacky and everyone around her noticed, but never said anything. They all knew that she didn’t have the best self-esteem and didn’t want to upset her for no reason.

“Something smells good,” She smiled softly at Zacky just as she slipped past him into the warm, heated house she grew up in.

“Of course,” Zacky laughed and closed the front door behind them, “Anything Suzy cooks smells delicious.”

Dustyn intertwined their fingers together and leaned into Zacky’s side as he tossed his arm around her shoulders. The couple made their way through the foyer and into the living room where all the noise could be heard from. Dustyn’s oldest brother, Brian and his wife, Michelle were lounging on the couch while talking with their father who was sitting in his old recliner with a beer in his hand, while the youngest two siblings, Brent and McKenna were sitting on the floor in front of the couch goofing around with each other.

Dustyn grinned at the sight, glad to see her whole family together for a few hours. She loved every one of them to pieces, but hadn’t been able to see them all together like this in a few weeks, so she was definitely excited. To Dustyn, nothing compared to being with her family. They made her happy, and they reminded her that she was loved and cared for.

“Hey!” Brian grinned at Dustyn and Zacky, “The happy couple has arrived.”

Papa Gates turned around and smiled at his daughter and her Fiancé. “It’s nice to you guys decided to make your presence known here today,” He laughed and got up from his chair.

Dustyn rolled her dark brown eyes at her father’s comment and allowed him to embrace her in a large bear hug.

“We haven’t seen you around much.”

“I know,” Dustyn frowned, “I’m sorry. We’ve just been so busy with moving into the new house and getting everything settled and decorated. Plus the wedding plans have been practically torture since we want to get married so soon. So between both, it’s been complete nonsense lately.”

“I understand,” Papa Gates nodded, “I’m sure it’s been a pretty stressful few weeks.”

“Yeah, but what can we do?” Dustyn shrugged, “Everything will settle down after the house is finished and Zacky and I say ‘I do’,” A small smile danced across her lips just at the thought of finally being married to Zacky.

After being friends since they were just kids and dating since Dustyn graduated from high school, the two were more than ready to say ‘I do’ and be tied together as husband and wife till death do them part. They were madly in love each other and knew that getting married was not only the right thing, but also what they really, truly wanted.

Zacky couldn’t wait to be able to call Dustyn his wife, and he also couldn’t wait until she someday gave birth to a son or a daughter. He was ready to settle down with her and start a family soon. That happened to be the only thing on his mind lately, and he’ll jump for the joy the day she tells him she’s pregnant with his child sometimes in the future.

“Oh, good!” Suzy interrupted them, “I’m glad to see the both of you made it.”

“Hi to you too, Suzy,” Zacky chuckled.

She rolled her eyes playfully before catching everyone’s attention. “Lunch is finished if all of you are ready to dig in and eat.”

The Haner family was definitely hungry and ready to eat. Every last one of them made their way into the dining room to sit down at the large table together and eat the meal Suzy had prepared for them. Dustyn sat down beside McKenna who was sitting by Papa Gates, and Zacky took the seat next to her.

The brunet smiled shyly as Zacky smoothed his hand across her mid-thigh before giving it a small loving squeeze. Zacky flashed her a smile when she looked up and their eyes connected. She just laughed softly and looked across at Brian who was staring at the two while rolling his eyes. Instead of acting like a twenty-four year old grown woman, she acted like she was a little girl again and stuck her tongue out at him. The older man chuckled and smirked before doing the same thing.

“You two are just—” Papa Gates started, staring at his two oldest children with an amused expression.

“Immature? Lame? Dorky?” The twelve-year-old spoke up, cutting him off.

“I was going to say like little kids, but sure, McKenna, those work just as well,” Papa Gates said with a small laugh.

The table fell silent seconds later once Suzy took a seat at the other end of the table opposite of Papa Gates, and Michelle redeemed her spot beside Brian across from Zacky. Suzy motioned for everyone to dig into the delicious looking food spread across the table, and nobody seemed to mind as they did just that.

There was no denying that Dustyn’s stomach growled quietly as she eyed the Bar-B-Q ribs with a side of macaroni and cheese and green beans on her plate, but she couldn’t seem to force herself to eat much. She ate enough though. Ate enough to make it look like she was full and happy, ate enough to make it look like she wasn’t lying to any of her family, her fiancé, or herself, and that was all that mattered.