Descending Angel

Mikey and I were on our way out the door to catch the afternoon screening of The Incredible Hulk when we ran into Gerard. He was on the couch hunched over one of his notebooks, busily scribbling away something. When he saw us he jumped off the couch and smiled.

"Hey, you two. Where are you going?" he asked. I put my head down, hoping he didn't notice the hickey Mikey left on my neck. I don't know how I would explain it if both of them found out right now. I thought I could tell them separately, but if they ganged up on me I was going to burst into tears and just let myself die.

"We're going to go see The Incredible Hulk. We were bored, so..." Mikey shrugged and released my hand. I hadn't even noticed that we were holding hands when we walked into the room, but I am terribly oblivious to everything right now. My mind must have flown out the window.

"Yeah. Can I come too? There's nothing to do around here."

Mikey looked over at me and raised his eyebrows. He was leaving it up to me, dammit. And, as much as I wanted to avoid being in the same room as the two as much as possible, there was no fucking way I was going to tell Gerard that he couldn't come with us. That was just mean, and I actually wanted to spend as much time with Gerard as I could because I don't know how long I'm going to have with him, and he really is amazing. Which is why the whole situation is so shitty. Gerard is amazing and I really like him, but Mikey is just as great and he's in love with me. I can't break either of their hearts.

"Of course you can come with us, Gerard," I chirped, looping my arm through his. I looped my other arm with Mikey's and he pulled the three of us out the door, into the sunshine. "You know, Gerard, I never pegged you as the type that could go out in the sun without exploding."

He bumped his hip into mine. "I have a special kind of sunscreen that makes it possible for the living dead such as I to frolick safely in the vicinity of the awful sun." He leaned down closer to my face and for a minute I was afraid he was going to kiss me in front of Mikey. "Nice hickey, Eric."

Oh shit.

"Where did you get it?" he asked, not even bothering to hide his jealousy. His grip on my hand tightened and I looked over at Mikey, who wasn't paying attention, thank bob. He was busy staring up at the sky, and if I hadn't been in such a shitty position, I would have told him to stop because it will fry his eyes. Well, I think it would, because wouldn't his glasses serve the same as a magnifying glass and burn him?

"Gift shop."

"Eric."

"Who the hell do you think I got it from? Lauren of course, she's like--I can't fucking turn her off. And, I know, I need to break it off with her quick, and I will, okay?" I'm becoming such a good liar. He believed me and loosened his grip.

"Promise?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'll talk to her tonight if I have to, okay?"

"Talk to who?" Mikey asked, leaning in to catch the last of our conversation.

"Lauren. Eric obviously doesn't like her, and if she's going to leave hickey's on him even though he doesn't remember her, she's just a whore." Gerard answered his brother, crossing his arms over his chest and nodding to himself.

Lying leaves a dirty taste in your mouth, you know? At least, for me it does. And a scorpion in my stomach and a bird flying around in my brain.

The movies weren't really crowded because most people like to wait for nightfall to go see them, so we had the option of sitting wherever we wanted.

"Oh, I wanna sit in the back!" I cried the moment Gerard and Mikey yelled out 'front'. I turned to them, acting shocked, like they just told me...that they weren't really brothers, they were married and that's why they had the same last name. "But...but then I have to crane my neck up really far and it hurts my head and I'll become unpleasant and bitchy and you won't want to hang out with me anymore!" I whined, sticking my lip out an outrageous amount for a pout. But it works on anyone, because either they begin to feel sad for me, or crack up at how retarded I look. Mikey, predictably, relented first and grabbed my arm, leading me to the back of the theatre and leaving Gerard to trail behind us.

Poor little third wheel... Oh, man, I have to beat Mikey up there so I can have the aisle seat and not have to sit in-between them!

"Shit!" I whispered when Mikey plopped his bony ass down in the seat I wanted and smirked up at me. He knew I wanted that one! "Michael Way, you are horrible," I told him as I scooted past him to take the seat beside him. Gerard follows me and takes the seat beside me, because of course all my wishes will remain unfulfilled and irony will rule my life until I fess up to what I'm doing and how I'm a cheater and all that shit.

Once my mind goes off on one track, I really can't stop it. So, instead of getting to watch the movie and enjoy the company of the two boys that I like the most in the world, I have to be all mopey and hating myself and analyzing every aspect of the two Ways. Okay, so Gerard is...hot, artistic, sweet, he knows that I'm dead, and he actually believes me. But he's also suicidal and a cheater just like me. Mikey is also hot, sweet, dorky, and all of the above, but I know that there's no way he would believe me if I told him what I told Gerard. And, well, what if he wants me to die? To save his brother, of course. Which, I'm all up for, but I don't want to leave them here. What if something goes wrong? I mean, Frank loves his brother, and Mikey loves me, and Gerard...has never really told me how he felt other than sticking his tongue down my throat, but that means that he likes me, right? And they need me here for the comic relief, at least!

I sighed and laid my head back on the seat, staring up at the dark ceiling, lights from the screen throwing off colors and kind of lulling me into some kind of stupor. They were very pretty lights, and all swirly, and--holy shit, something just touched my hand. I sit up straight and look over to see Gerard blushing, his hand laying gently over mine. His focus was on the movie screen, but he was torturing his lip and looking nervous.

Mikey was right on the other side of me, right there and he might be able to see Gerard's hand over mine, and I didn't know what to do. Gerard was getting discouraged with my lack of a reaction, his hand slowly slipping from mine, so I flipped my hand over so our palms were resting together. Our fingers slid past one another's slowly, and I was a little worried that my hands were sweaty and clammy and I didn't think he would want to hold anyone's hand that was so sweaty, but his hand stayed where it was. I smiled over at him, and saw his eyes were on me, smile in tact. He leaned over.

"Are you paying attention to the movie?" he whispered.

I smiled guiltily. "Not really. Mmm, I can't help it, though."

"Me neither. I can't stop looking over at you, Eric." His lips brushed over my ear as he whispered, hot breath running down the nape of my neck and down my spine. "You're so pretty." It was my turn to blush, and hope once again that Mikey didn't look over and see us so close, even though I knew that I could lie my way out of it.

"Gerard..."

"I really like you, you know. And I get jealous when I think about you and Lauren, and the fact that I can't mark you but she can." He ran his finger over the hickey. I curled my hand around his and held it away from my face.

"I know, Gerard. I'm so sorry. But I'll fix it, okay? She'll be gone."

"Then we can go out?"

"...um. Well--"

"Oh." He pouted and hung his head.

"Gerard, you know...okay, you don't exactly, but I'm going through a lot right now. And I adore you, okay? But..."

"No, I get it, alright?" He crossed his arms and frowned. I seriously hope that he didn't get it. If he did, wouldn't he be creating a huge scene with his brother? Or at least accusing me of being a creep? I reached out my hand to his arm, but he jerked away from me. He was pissed, and I decided to let him vent and continue with the movie before trying to reason with him.