Descending Angel

“Just take your time,” Gerard’s whispered words floated to my ears. I don’t know what was going on with me, I was supposed to be stronger than this.

“I think I’m in love you Gerard...” He pulled me out of his chest and looked me in the eyes. His eyes were so magnificently hazel it took me a minute to finally see why he brought me away from him.

He didn’t love me like I thought he did, or how I loved him. A sharp pain jabbed into my chest at the same time I felt it a pull that felt like my chest was caving in. I knew it. I really did.

I burst out into more tears, I bet my sobs could be heard all across the state as I crumbled under his gaze. He didn’t say anything, nor did I. However he did pull me back into his chest.
That had to mean something, right?

“I think I’m in love you too...” Oh lord, I really am a girl. When I heard this I didn’t stop and rejoice, no, instead I could started choking on my tears and struggled to breath. He kept my head on his chest but brought up my chin so that I was facing him.

“I...I just can’t leave and let you kill yourself when I’m not here. I would have to stay with you forever just to make sure you wouldn’t do anything.” I choked on the beginning but I was able to settle my sobs enough to talk through my gasps for air.

“I promise I won’t kill myself if you promise you won’t leave me.” I just waited until I calmed down enough to move on my own free will and nodded my head. I didn’t know how it would work, but it had to. For me, for Mikey, for Gerard.

Gerard reached into his pocket and withdrew a packet of smokes. I hadn’t had one since I was alive in my other body, but I sure as hell needed on now.

“Can I have one?”

“You smoke?” He asked unsure as he put on in his mouth, letting it droop lightly still in between his lips.

“I used too, I’m going to start up again.” He looked sceptical then after thinking about it a little handed me one. I popped it into my mouth and waited as he lit up his and handed me the lighter. After putting away the lighter and pack we lied next to each other and let the smoke softly escape our lips and trail into the sky.

It was relaxing, people who don’t smoke say it’s not but how the fuck do they know? They don’t. I watched as our cancer sticks slowly down sized and the familiar feeling of a head high swirled around me. Well at least the world was, it was the first time this body had ever smoked I could tell so the head high made the world spin like crazy.

I settled my head on top of Gerard’s chest and waited for it to go away and a nice soothing relaxation just settle over me. He really was a god sent, because technically I was a devil sent so... o lord. Should I even be talking to him? No, of course I was! I had to save this silly little angel!

I was so silly sometimes. After a while, I wasn’t sure how long – I really wasn’t paying attention-, Gerard stood up and took hold of my hand. He didn’t let go as we walked down and around the park, towards a small bridge.

“Eric, I want us to be together. Officially.” He looked down into my eyes, seeing as he was taller than me he could do that – damn tall people.

“I-I don’t know Gerard. What about Mikey?”

“Mikey can have anyone he wants. I want you. You’re all I have now.” I looked into his eyes seeing the love and devotion they held; all for me. I knew what I had to do them I had to be with Gerard.

“Okay.” And with that I sold my soul to an angel. I knew this would never last considering what I had told the devil, but right now good was defiantly overriding bad. Just like Buzz Light-year had always said it would; god I hate using Disney characters to explain myself.

He smiled down at me and captured my lips against his. I felt whole, well as whole as I had ever been. Not even in my past life had I felt like this; I had never been in love. But let me tell you. I love the feeling, and I was not willing to let it go. I had everything I had ever wanted in my last life; this isn’t fair to have everything I wanted and have to give it up. Maybe there was a way around it; a way around dying.

I had to see. I had to ask. This was just too good to give up.

After a lengthy make out session we started to head back to his house. Mikey was going to show up at my house so I knew we would be safe at Gerard’s house. On the way there we held hands, smiling to ourselves while looking at each other now and then. I liked this, a warm feeling in my gut that told me everything was going to work out. I knew it would; it had too.

When we arrived back at his house we settled into the couch, watching an old horror flick on
cable while cuddling into each other. This is what I had missed out on all those years in my apartment alone.

“Hey Gerard?” He lowered his head to look at me. I knew he wasn’t watching the movie. Nor was I, we were just enjoying the others company.

“Yeah?”

“I’m so happy. You have no idea, I have never been in love before.” Gerard smile down at me showing his perfect small teeth.

“Me too Eric, me too.” He then bent down and closed the space between our lips, I immediately closed my eyes. I truly loved this man. We stayed there until we heard a large book drop from the door.