Let The Walls Break Down

I woke up on my parents couch and a single tear rolled down my cheek as I recalled the events that took place the night before. I can’t believe I actually walked out on John. Pickles ran over to me and jumped on me and started licking my face. I checked my phone and had 12 missed calls from John and 1 unread text from Rian.

‘Why did you walk out on John?’

I remembered I told Rian that I left him for some odd reason while I was driving to my parents’.

‘I’ve had enough of him being unreliable.’

I didn’t want to call John back immediately. I wanted to think things through and decide if I want to give him another chance.

--John--

“Eric, she walked out on me,” I said into the phone and hung my head low. I really screwed up this time. “The bad thing is I didn’t even know I was slowly pushing her to it.”

“I’m sorry, man. Go over to her parents’ and talk to her. If she sees you take the initiative she’ll see that you really want to be with her. Don’t just wait for her to call you.” I hung up soon after and got in my car.

As I was walking up the sidewalk, she opened the door before I got there. “John, I don’t want to talk to you right now. I’m upset.”

“And I’m not? You blind-sighted me! I didn’t think you could just walk away.”

“I didn’t either. But everything you’ve done – and haven’t done, for that matter – have been piling up and pushed me to the breaking point. Now, please John. Just go home. I’ll talk to you when I talk to you.” She shut the door and I stood there for a moment before walking back to the car.

Later that day, I was lying on Eric’s couch flipping absently through the channels until I found some infomercials. I liked watching those sometimes.

“Okay, you’re depressing the hell out of me. Let’s go out.” He was putting on his leather jacket and then waited for me to respond.

“I don’t know if you notice this or not, Eric, but going out was what got me into this situation in the first place!”

“Well she’s not around to tell you it’s wrong anymore, is she?”

I decided the more I sat there and argued with him the more I’d end up going, so I just quit and got up. “I hate you right now.”

“You look like you could use a drink.” I rolled my eyes and put on my jacket and the next thing I know I’m at the bar.

The night was pretty much a blur. I started out just drinking some Heineken, but progressively got into the heavier stuff. This girl sat next to me, but I couldn’t remember much about her other than she was blonde and her dark roots were coming in. She was pretty, but I wasn’t attracted. All I could think about was Holly. The girl said her name was Jackson, but I figured it was just her last name. We got to talking and she reminded me a lot of Holly, the way she was so down to earth, but she couldn’t even compare to her.

“Eric, I’m gonna get out of here,” I said and tapped the back of his arm. He nodded while he threw back a shot and fanned me away.

I walked outside and signaled a cab and Jackson came outside as it pulled up. “Where you headed?” she asked and zipped up her coat.

“The other side of Tempe.”

“No way! Me too. You wanna share a cab?” I shrugged and we got in the cab together. The next thing I know we pulled up to her house and she had her hand on my leg. “You want to come inside and have some coffee? You look terrible.”

“No, I think I should just go home and sleep it off.”

“Got a girlfriend waiting for you?”

“Something like that.”

She looked disappointed, but insisted on me coming inside her home. “It’s just coffee.” For some reason, I got out of the cab and followed her in but there was no coffee. She attacked me as soon as the door was shut. Although I was hammered, I could still tell right from wrong and started pushing her away.

“I can’t…” I trailed off and as I looked at her, my eyes started shutting and I started falling to the floor.

--Holly--

Rian called me the next morning and I went outside to talk to him.

“Hey what’s up?” He said when I answered.

“Nothing. Debating on when I should call John.”

“Have you made up your mind?”

“Not completely. He has to show me that he’s going to change. It’s not enough for him to just tell me that he’s going to, he actually has to take action.”

“Earth to Holly, when a guy says he’s going to change, 98% of the time, that won’t happen.”

“Oh, so the movies are true.”

“Unfortunately. Well don’t keep him waiting. I’d hate not talking to Cassadee if she were mad at me.”

“Why did you decide to send her flowers on Valentine’s as well as Kara? Didn’t you think she was going to find out?”

“I started dating her because I like her and I think we have something real. She knows what’s it’s like to be under the spot light and Kara and I’s break up was a long time coming. I don’t think she could handle the band’s fame.”

“I think she could handle the band’s fame, just look at me.”

“Yeah, well The Maine isn’t as famous as All Time Low.”

I don’t think he meant to sound like a pompous asshole, but that’s sure how I interpreted it.

“What the hell, Rian? Why would you say something like that?”

“I didn’t mean for it to come out that way, but since it did, I’ll just go ahead and say it’s true.” He was getting meaner in tone by the second.

“There you go Rian. Here we are, friends, and you’re already trying to ruin it with a stupid little fight.”

“We can’t be friends, Holly.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because I can’t be friends with someone who I’m super attracted to and I want to be with. ‘Friends’ doesn’t really work well in that sort of situation.”

I started getting angry. Not at him proclaiming his love for me once again, but because there was someone in the way. “Well why did you start dating Cassadee if you knew you wanted me?”

“What does it matter!? You had John!”

“You know what Rian? I don’t know why I keep thinking about being with you. You get angry about almost everything. We would have the most destructive relationship ever.” I hung up and I immediately wished I had never said anything. He’s going to get the wrong idea. But now that it was out there, there was no going back and my true feelings were exposed.

--John--

I came back to the apartment when I woke up in the middle of the night at Jackson’s house. I was so disappointed in myself that I had let myself go as far as to kiss another girl, even if it was against my will and when I wasn’t with Holly. It was an altogether low point for my life. I wanted to talk to Holly. I wanted to be with Holly. But she said she’d call me when she thought things over, and my guess was she hadn’t thought things over yet. I got out a piece of paper and wrote down my experiences from the night before and turned it into a song, exaggerating and adding things here and there. After I had completed the rough draft of it, I wrote ‘Right Girl’ at the top of the page.

A week past and I still hadn’t heard from Holly. I don’t know why she was dragging this out. I wanted to see her so bad, but my fear started kicking in that she would never want me back. Suddenly my Kings of Leon ringtone started going off and it was her. “Hello?”

“John, I want to see you. Can I come over to the apartment?”

“Of course.”

“Okay. I’ll be there in a few minutes.” I waited anxiously for her to arrive and when she came in, she looked mad but as soon as she saw me, she couldn’t help but smile and wrapped her arms around my neck. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you.” I pulled her back and looked at her. “Did you want to talk about anything?”

Her smile slowly faded and she nodded, leading me into the living room. “It really upset me when you came home wasted when we had something important planned.”

“Did you really have to walk out for that?” I was stroking her leg and she lightly grasped my arm.

“Well that wasn’t the only thing that happened. I grew tired of you coming offstage drunk and coming home acting a fool. I’m not attracted to that.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I’d gotten out of hand. Why didn’t you talk to me about it?”

She looked at me like I was crazy. “When could I have talked to you? You were either doing some band thing, getting drunk, or drunk!”

I moved my hand up to her neck and looked in her eyes. “I’m really sorry. I don’t want to drink ever again if it means I can’t be with you.”

She had been looking at me intensely, but when I said this, she smiled like she was never mad. “Cornball.”

“Who calls anyone a Cornball anymore?” I asked and started smiling.

“Me! The same person that still calls people Buttheads.” I pulled her in for a quick kiss and hugged her. “I missed that too,” she said into my shoulder and then I held her as we lounged on the couch for what seemed like forever.