Let The Walls Break Down

We walked up the sidewalk of my parents’ house and took a deep breath before we entered. His arm was around my waist and he kissed the top of my head quickly. “Mom?”

“Yeah, Honey?” She came to the entry way and looked at me. “You sound funny. You need something?”

I shook my head and we walked past her into the living room while she was looking at me like I was crazy.

“Mom, where’s Dad?”

“He’ll be back in a minute he went to go get some batteries.” As if on cue, my dad walked through the door and set the sack on the kitchen counter and also looked at me like I was crazy.

“What’s wrong with you, kid? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Uh, I just got back from the doctor’s office.”

Both of my parents came into the living room and sat down. My mom spoke first. “Is everything okay? You don’t have some disease or something, do you?”

I somewhat chuckled and John squeezed me tightly. “No. Mom…Dad… we’re going to have a baby.”

My mom clasped her hands around her mouth and her eyes looked like they were about to leak. My dad just sat back in his chair and wouldn’t take his eyes off of John. He didn’t look mad or anything, just intense. Like they were in a staring contest. My mom came over to me and made me stand up and she held my arms out to the side and looked at me. “Honey, this is wonderful!”

“They’re not even married yet,” my dad said quietly behind her and my mom looked at him and shushed him.

“They’re two months away from getting married. And let’s be honest, who really waits until marriage to have sex?” My mom made John stand up as well and she group hugged us. “I’m going to be a grandma!” She clapped her hands together and had this elated look on her face and walked into her bedroom.

While we were standing there awkwardly with my dad watching us, he finally stood up and hugged me. “I’m happy for you.” He looked at John, still intense, and shook his hand. “Don’t disappoint me, son.” He also walked into the bedroom and we took the cue to leave. We got outside and John hugged me.

“That went a lot better than I thought it would,” I said with my face against his chest.

“Mhm. I thought your dad was going to kill me.”

I laughed and we walked back to the car.

-May 11, 2011-

I got out of the car carefully and John came around to my side to help me. In one hand he held the pie I made this morning and in the other was my hand. “Don’t be nervous,” he said and squeezed.

We walked to Pat’s back yard and set the pie on the picnic table. “Cool, we have like 6 pies and one plate of meat,” Pat said and kept walking where he was already walking to.

“Well then.”

It was the barbeque before the new tour which started tomorrow and everyone was here. This Century, even though they weren’t on this tour, and Austin Gibbs, who was, were chatting with each other and even A Rocket to the Moon showed up with Maria. Maria still ‘technically’ lived with us, but she was never there. So when she saw me, she was shocked.

I was wearing a flowy dress but I already looked a lot bigger than I was before. “Holly almost O’Callaghan. I thought you guys were going to get married in April.” She walked closer to me but still didn’t look at my stomach.

“We had to postpone.”

“Why?”

“We just weren’t ready.” I looked up at John and he smiled.

“You guys have been engaged like two years. How can you not be ready?” I shrugged and the wind finally picked up and blew my dress to the side, outlining my 4 month bump. She finally looked down. By the way, I hadn’t told anyone besides Pat’s family yet. So, of course, she starts screaming and hugs me and everyone was now looking at me and the murmur of whispers started. “Can I?” she was referring to touching my stomach. I nodded and she proceeded. “Oh my gosh, why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“I wanted it to be a surprise for today.” I giggled and one by one, everyone came over to talk to me and John. They either congratulated us, asked us how along I was, or asked to feel it.

“John, you’re going to leave your pregnant fiancée behind while you tour?” Joel asked when he came over.

He looked sad, but nodded as he drank something. “She’s graduating on the 6th, so her and Maria are going to stay here and all of us are going to fly back that day.”

“Are you okay with him just staying one day?” He asked me with a smirk.

“Of course not. But it is what it is.” We kissed quickly, then looked back at Joel.

“You guys are so in love it’s sickening.” He chuckled and walked away.

-Graduation Day, June 6, 2011-

Maria was sitting a few rows in front of me and she dyed her hair blonde for the occasion. I have no idea why. I was looking around the place for John or anyone else in the stands and I didn’t see a thing. Finally, this tall guy entered the stands and was followed by a lanky long haired guy and three others, then a guy with a sweet porn stache. They sat next to Joel and the rest of his band, who was next to Eric and his band, who all were seated behind my parents, John’s parents, Pat’s parents, and Maria’s family. I was finally at ease. I didn’t even care about the almost 5 month bump attached to me. After a thousand people were speaking (it was like high school graduation all over again) they finally started calling people and they were walking across the stage. “Maria Lee Holcombe, Bachelor’s in Mass Journalism.” She walked across and our section went wild and you could hear Eric scream that he loved her. We were that section. Finally it was my turn. “Holly Nicole Richards, Bachelor’s in Music Engineering.” I felt so accomplished. Even though I probably wouldn’t work, I liked knowing that if I did want to work, I could do what I enjoyed and wanted. After the ceremony, everyone met outside and took pictures together. My favorite one was with my robe open so you could see my belly (and beautiful green dress) and John was looking lovingly at me as his hand was on it and Maria was in the back putting bunny ears behind me and Pat was in the background mid-jump. We were probably in front of the arena for like an hour just taking pictures.

“Congratulations,” John said and picked me up carefully. “You made it farther than I did.”

I stroked his face and hugged him tightly. “Why do you have to leave me?”

“I’ll be back in less than two weeks. The 18th is our last shows in Tempe and Arizona.”

“John, please stay the night. Fly back tomorrow.” I continued to hold him and looked up at him as he leaned down and kissed me.

“Okay.” He smiled and kissed me again as some girl started freaking out.

“OH MY GOD! THAT’S JOHN OH, BRITNEY! BRITNEY! LOOK! IT’S JOHN OH!”

After looking where that came from, he looked back at me and sighed. “Why do people think I’m so beautiful? The rest of the band is right here, why me?”

“Yeah, why you. Everywhere we go, some girl always has a heart attack.” I smiled and we kissed again and he rested his head briefly on my shoulder.

“Holly, I love you so much and I am so proud of you.” He looked at me passionately and kissed me with the same intensity as his eyes and it seemed to take me away from this place. When we stopped, Maria was on one side and Eric was on the other, both taking pictures and it took me back to when Rian first kissed me. I wasn’t even disgusted. I don’t know what’s wrong with my head thinking that it’s okay to not be disgusted by what he did. I wasn’t even mad about the last squabble we had. It was so long ago and I haven’t talked to him since then. When I checked my phone, I had a text from Rian. ‘Congratulations <3. Something so simple made me overthink everything. He added the heart at the end and was it because he wanted me to know he wasn’t mad either?

‘Thanks <3.’ I don’t know why I sent the heart, but I did and there was no going back. I hope I didn’t just mess everything up. I was thinking about him and for some reason I wanted him to know that.

-June 26, 2011-

“John, where’s Maria? And where’s Eric? I feel like I haven’t seen them in days.”

He shrugged. “I haven’t heard anything.”

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and I went to answer it since I was standing up anyway. Eric was there with his sunglasses on and a drunken smile plastered on his face with Maria loosely draped on him; her looking the same.

“What is with you two?”

Maria took the arm that was hanging around Eric’s shoulder and showed me her hand, which had a sparkly ring on her ring finger.

“We got married!”

I wanted to fall over. I didn’t even know they were engaged. John came to the door as well and had his mouth gaping open.

“Married? When did this happen?” he asked.

“We just got back from our trip to Vegas and on the way out, we saw this cute little chapel and we figured, why the hell not?” Maria said and pushed her way inside and pulled Eric into her room.

“Well that’s…odd…” I said and we both watched them walk down the hall.

I started texting Rian again. We talked about everything and I know it’s wrong, but I think I’m falling for him as well. Why was I feeling this way now?