Let The Walls Break Down

-November 4, 2007-

I looked down at my phone which was screaming 'Dig' by Incubus at me. "Patrick?" I questioned and answered. "Hello?"

"Hey cuz'," I heard.

"Hey Patty! What are you doing?"

"Nothing much...just practicing..."

Patrick is my cousin that lives in Arizona. He's about 6 months younger than me and he's in a band and plays the drums.

"Have you formed a band yet?"

"Yeah. Me and Gare got Jared, Kenny and John to join a couple months ago." He talked about these guys like I knew them. Because I did.

"You mean those guys like 2 years older than us?"

"Yeah. And yes, it's John as in Ross' brother, John."

The story is, I lived in Arizona for a couple of years and I had the biggest crushes on John and his brother Ross when I was 11. Except they were jerks and made fun of me and didn't say bye when I left to come back to Wisconsin. I hate John. Jared was John's best friend and wasn't the most attractive person in the world, but he was nice to me despite his friend's behavior. Kenny and Gare are Patrick's best friends but Kenny never had any interest in the band I guess until now.

"That's amazing, Patty! How's it going?"

"We released an EP so far...and about 5 people showed up at every show we opened for."

"Hey, you gotta start somewhere."

"I guess. So, me and the guys were wondering if you wanted to be our merch person next year."

Let's see. 1. Stay here and take online classes and sulk about Rian. 2. Tour around the country selling merch and meeting hot guys.

"Sure I'd love to! When?"

"Next summer. Late June or early July. That way it won't interfere with college for you."

"I'm taking online classes anyway." There was a pause in the conversation. "I guess I'll see you this summer! Say hi to the guys for me."

-June 2008-

I flew out to Arizona late June to get ready to go on tour with Patrick's band The Maine a few days later. I said good bye to Maria because she wanted to go on Jack's band All Time Low's July tour instead to hang out with Lisa while the guys performed. When I arrived at Pat's house, his mom Lisa greeted me with open arms and there was a lot of noise going on inside. We ventured towards the kitchen and all 5 of the guys I hadn't seen in years yelled in unison, "HOLLY!" They all choked, I mean hugged, me and once I got a minute that I wasn't being suffocated, I looked at them and deciphered how they'd changed. Jared wasn't as unattractive as I remembered, but he didn't graduate from it either; Gare was so adorable, along with Kenny; Pat was growing out his hair and grew into his Kirch chin and nose combo; and John. I wanted so bad to still be mad at him, but he was too adorable for that. He was still the skinniest and tallest one in the room, and his huge nose I remembered now separated the men from the boys. I changed my mind. He wasn't adorable. He was freaking hot. I bet he was a bigger jerk now more than ever.

I sat next to Pat and Gare and started chatting with them. "So, who's going on this tour with you guys?" I imagined a few bands that no one had ever heard of.

"Metro Station, Good Charlotte and Boys Like Girls," Gare said. I couldn't get over how adorable they all were minus Jared. I loved Metro Station and Boys Like Girls, and Good Charlotte was one of my classic favorites. My eyes were wide and I could envision myself dying this summer.

John noticed my wide eyes. "Did you guys tell her who we're touring with?" He laughed his adorable, childish, adorable laugh.

Pat nodded with a smile and dug his hand into something Lisa had just put on the table.

After dinner (they ate the entire time I was there, but this was when everyone ate at nightfall), John kept looking at me. I was helping Lisa with the immense amount of dishes and he chipped in.

"How was your flight?" He said with his crooked smile.

"Oh, you know, flighty. I was in the air for a good amount of it."

He playfully shoved me with his left side. "Do you want to take a walk?"

By this time, most of the dishes had been washed and were only about 5 left. I figured Lisa could handle it, besides she shoved me towards him anyway. "Sure." We walked outside and down the street without saying anything.

"So, I hear you had a pretty big crush on me." This guy would not stop smiling.

"Uh, yeah, when I was like, 11."

"Seven years isn't that long of a time ago."

"I stopped liking you because you were so mean and made fun of me." We crossed the street to go to the neighborhood pool.

He laughed that adorable laugh again. "Yeah, I guess I had a pretty big crush on you too."

"You did? You have a terrible way of showing it. Why didn't you tell my good bye?" We sat at the edge of the pool, putting our feet in the water and pushing away the leaves and dead bugs that were attracted to our legs.

"Because you were leaving. If I said bye to you, then that was basically me saying that I was okay with you leaving. And at the time I wasn't."

I looked at him for a long time and I started smiling. "I can't believe I liked you. You had this oversized nose and Jay Leno chin."

He looked at me and said, "I can't believe I liked you with your flat chest and braces!"

"I was 11! Eleven-year-olds don't develop yet! And I have perfect teeth now." I flashed a toothy smile at him.

"Whatever." He paused and took quick glances at me. "Well, I guess you turned out alright." He smiled.

"Yeah, I guess you turned out alright, too," I said and shoved him. He shoved back and I pushed him in the water. I tried to escape, but he pulled me in and dunked my head in the water.