Let The Walls Break Down

We left the next day and stopped in Amarillo for the day and gradually made our way all the way to Norfolk, VA after 4 days. We all took our turns driving and the day we arrived to the first stop on the tour, everyone was gathering together at some restaurant. Madness, I tell you. Brooks, Jeremy, Derek, Jake and Alex from Mayday Parade sat at one table; Jimmie, David, Dennis and Matt from Every Avenue sat with Zack; Josh from Every Avenue sat with Gare, Kenny and Pat; and at my table was John, Jared, Alex, Jack, Rian and this other girl I didn't know. Probably one of the guys' girlfriends. Maria couldn't be on this tour because she was in college. Rian wouldn't look at me. It was really uncomfortable, then John put his arm around me. He finally looked at me, then quickly turned away and put his arm around the girl I didn't know. Now I see how he was playing it. Even though this tour was going to be less than 2 months, it was going to be the longest ever.

-October 9, 2008-

We all finished eating at the restaurant and headed over to The Norva and I started setting up my table. I could hear everyone doing sound check and finally All Time Low came on. I left my table for the moment to go watch. I haven't seen them play since the night I met them. Alex started singing high, Jack started screaming, and Rian sang even higher than Alex. That girl I didn't know was sitting in the center of the floor. The doors opened to let people in and I started selling stuff quickly. I was set up next to Vinnie, All Time Low's merch guy, and he was creeping me out. He kept looking at me and I felt very uncomfortable. After the show, I met up with John and the rest of the band and Alex and Jack tagged along.

"I thought Rian wanted to talk to me," I said to Alex as we were crossing the street.

"He did...until he saw you with John."

"He didn't know? And what does that even mean? He has that other girl."

"Look, I can't talk to you about that. You need to talk to him."

I crossed the street again to go find Rian and I saw the girl I didn't know walking towards me. "Hi, are you Holly?" she asked me.

"Yeah."

She smiled. "I'm Kara, Rian's girlfriend. He's looking for you." I followed her until we reached a bus and got on. I thought they had a van. As soon as we got on, I saw Zack, Jeremy Lenzo, and a couple of other band members. Rian was sitting at the table and Kara went to the very back of the bus.

"Hi, Holly," he said and motioned for me to sit down.

"Hi, Rian. Long time, no see." He laughed, but didn't look at me. He was more awkward than before. "So...is that why you wouldn't talk to me anymore? You met Kara?"

"Pretty much...I'm really sorry, Holly. I wanted to go out with you, but when I got back to Baltimore, I met her and we sort of hit things off."

I nodded. I admit, I was disappointed although I had John. "Do you love her?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'm happy for you." I waited a while and just stared at him. "Did you mean everything you said and did the day you left my house?"

"Everything. I thought we were going to be this iconic couple. I honestly loved you."

"If you loved me, why did you just cast me aside and date her?"

"What does it matter? You're going out with John."

"I wouldn't have started if you never stopped."

Just then, Alex and Jack came on the bus followed by John, Kenny and Pat. John sat next to me and kissed my temple. "Hey Rian."

"Hey John." Rian got up to leave and find Kara, and Alex and Jack filled the empty space in front of us. We talked for about 30 minutes before we had to leave with Kenny and Pat to go back to our bus.

-One Week Later-

We were in Jacksonville Beach, FL. It was really awkward befriending Kara. I wanted so badly to hate her and be mean to her, but she was so nice and it was harder not to be nice and like her. She hung out with me at the merch table and even helped me sell stuff.

"Holly, go out and listen to All Time Low. Alex told me he was singing a special song for you," she said and took money from some kid with purple hair.

I smiled and said okay. I wandered into the crowd and stood next to some people with Every Avenue shirts and they looked annoyed to be there. Then why did you waste money on an All Time Low heading tour? Alex walked back to the microphone after some song I didn't know from their newest album I didn't have and said, "Holly, this one's dedicated to you." Some people cheered like they were Holly. Bitch, you don't know me.

"Just another pretty face,
but I want one more taste
Come on Holly, would you turn me on?
Just one fix
To keep me in the mix
And I'm still strung out on you
Drove all night
I'm the deer in your headlights
What's left of me you'll swallow soon
Too much of you is never enough"

Did Rian write this for me way back when? What was he trying to prove. I hated him now more than ever.
The Maine was done with their set and John found me in the middle of the crowd and grabbed me around my waist.

"Alex told me he was going to sing this for you today."

I pretended not to look annoyed. "Yeah. I wish he hadn't."

"Why?"

"Because. Rian is trying to prove something and I don't appreciate it. Even Kara's in on it."

He pulled me away from the crowd and on our way out of the venue, we had to stop and he signed some autographs and took pictures. We walked down the street and he was holding my hand.

"Did you love him?" he asked suddenly.

I always thought I had, but I didn't even date him. I didn't even know him. "Not really. I liked him a lot, but he broke my heart."

"Remind me again."

"I met him and Alex and Jack with Maria after their first show in Milwaukee. We all hung out at Taco Bell for hours and we kind of told each other that we liked each other. After the tour was over, the three of them hung out at Maria's house for a couple of weeks, but nothing ever happened between me and Rian. The night before they were leaving, Rian slept in my bed, and still nothing happened and he finally kissed me right before they left. A month later, I stop hearing from him."

"What a dick. I wish I knew what to say to make it better."

"Just shut up and tell me you love me." I smiled.

"I love you, Holly," he said and kissed me. "I've never known anyone quite like you."

"I love you, too, John. My parents love you as well."

"Really? How so?"

"Well, for starters, my mom thinks you're adorable." He motioned like he was being a shy girl and I laughed. "My dad can tell that you really care about me. And they know you won't hurt me."

"Why would I want to hurt you? I have in the past, but that's only because I had a hunormous crush on you."

"Why didn't you say anything? Maybe I would have never left."

He shrugged. "I was shy. Like you." By this time, we found a tall curb and were sitting on it. I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Can you believe I only have two and a half years left of college?" I said, wanting to change the subject from Rian.

He got a huge smile on his face. "I'm really proud of you, babe. At least one of us is concerned with education." I stroked the side of his face and kissed his bottom lip. And we got interrupted by some girls walking back to their car wanting autographs.

-October 21, 2008-

After the show in Atlanta, we decided we would drive all night to get to Houston as soon as possible to settle in a hotel, at least for a night. When we got there, we immediately went to the Spaghetti Warehouse which was supposedly haunted. It was just The Maine and All Time Low. Every Avenue and Mayday Parade went to the Hard Rock Cafe. John had his arm around me or the back of my chair the entire time. Pat and Garrett were trying to fling food on Kenny, Jared and Jack, who was on the phone with Maria. Alex, Lisa, Rian and Kara were the mirror image of John and I. I really didn't like looking at Rian while I ate, but the table was big enough that he wasn't super close to me. After lunch, we decided to go back to the hotel and chill at the pool.

"What do you want for dinner?" John asked me as we walked downstairs to the pool.

"We just had lunch," I laughed. When I saw that he meant for later, I said, "You can't go wrong with chicken."

Once he saw that I was comfortable being around Garrett and Kennedy, he kissed me lightly. "I'll be back later."

I didn't ask questions. We started playing chicken in the pool and Pat got on Kenny's shoulders and Jack got on Alex's. It was kind of awkward, but funny, to watch. I looked around and I saw Kara but not Rian. Good. I don't want him to see me in a swimsuit. An hour or two later, John came out the doors and he was dressed in gray jeans and a green plaid shirt. He looked so hot. I got out of the pool to greet him.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"Hardly."

"Good, because it's not ready yet."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing, child," he smiled. "Just come upstairs and get ready."

As we entered the room, I could smell chicken being made. I forgot there was a kitchen in here. "What is this?" I asked, somewhat amazed.

"What, you didn't think I could cook?"

I honestly shook my head. "It probably smells better than it tastes," I laughed and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. He crawled on top of me and started kissing me. Before we got caught up, "Is something burning?" I said.

"Shit." He got up quickly and dashed in the kitchen. I took this moment to take a quick shower to wash the chlorine off of me. I forgot to bring clothes into the bathroom and John's suitcase was right outside the door, so I just picked one of his shirts so I wouldn't have to run across the room to my stuff in a towel that hardly covered anything. I noticed I chose one of his v-necks and threw on some mascara and blush. Crap, I need pants too. I once again pulled some pants out of his suitcase. They were supposed to be jorts, but on me they were like almost capri pants. I walked out of the bathroom and John put two plates on the small table, then looked at me. "You look beautiful."