Sequel: Picking Up the Pieces ›
Bringing the Devil Out of Me
Thirty Nine
Sidney slept well into the afternoon the next day. The team had a day off luckily, so I insisted that Sidney stay with me. Unlike Sidney, I didn't sleep off things that made me upset, so I woke up around 5 AM. At 6 I got a call from Mr. Whitacre.
"Alice, please tell me this report is a joke," he said quietly.
"It's not...I wouldn't joke about something this serious Mr. Whitacre," I sighed.
"I...I'm very sorry. I know he's a personal friend of yours," he said.
"Thank you," I said quietly before hanging up. For the next few hours I paced the eerily empty apartment, stopping every so often to check on Sidney. He slept fitfully, tossing and turning. His face was scrunched up as if he was having a nightmare, and I allowed tears to flow freely as I watched him sleep. Marc and Evgeni were his best friends, and he couldn't stand to see anyone hurt. Around 11:30 I forced myself to make pancakes, hoping that Sidney would eat them. When he woke up around 2, he had trouble choking them down.
"I don't want to eat," he croaked, staring down at the plate in front of him. A surge of sadness tugged at my stomach, but I forced myself to remain strong and looked him in the eyes. Oh my God...his eyes. His eyes were still bloodshot; it was obvious that he had been crying in his sleep. The usually bright hazel was muddled with something dark and frightening.
"Sidney...you have to eat," I said. He simply stared at me.
"But I'm not hungry," he muttered.
"Sidney, Marc is alive so stop acting like he died, and eat. Please. As horrible as it sounds, you need to stop thinking about it before you get any more upset," I said, probably a little more harshly than originally intended. He cringed slightly before taking a bite. He was only able to eat 3, but 3 was better than none. Once he stopped eating I grabbed his hands and pulled him over to the couch. He moved with no emotion, like a robot. I suppressed a shudder and made him sit down.
"Alice..." he said quietly.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"You said I need to stop thinking about it for a while, right?" he asked. His voice was raw with tears, but they weren't flowing yet.
"Yes," I said. My voice was beginning to catch in my throat. It was unbearable to see him so upset.
"Distract me," he croaked. I felt my stomach hit the floor, but for once it wasn't a good feeling. I slid onto the couch next to him and kissed him, putting as much love into the kiss as I possibly could. I struggled to stem my own tears as I felt his hit my face, hot and wet. His lips trembled as he wrapped his arms tightly around me. He pulled me into his chest, placed his head on my shoulder, and began to sob. I lost it, no longer able to fight my own tears. I cradled him in my arms and let him cry, crying silently myself.
We sat like that for hours, even after Sidney wasn't able to cry any more. It was scary to see him cry. He was always so strong, but now he couldn't control himself.
"Alice, can I have a drink?" he asked.
"Yeah, what do you want?" I asked.
"Water...please." he croaked, rubbing his eyes. He looked so lost, and extremely afraid. Once I handed him a glass of water he guzzled it and I cupped his face in my hands.
"Why do I feel like there is something you're not telling me?" I asked quietly.
"Because there is," he said.
"What?" I asked.
"The...the last time I had a friend get in a car accident...they said he was gonna live...but three days later he died...I...I can't have that happen again Alice. I just can't," Sidney choked out. I immediately hugged him as tightly as I could.
"Sid...he's going to be okay. I promise." I said, beginning to rock him once more.
"I hope so," Sidney muttered, hugging me back. This is the worst feeling I've ever had...please God, let him be okay...Sidney needs him to be okay...and so do I.
"Alice, please tell me this report is a joke," he said quietly.
"It's not...I wouldn't joke about something this serious Mr. Whitacre," I sighed.
"I...I'm very sorry. I know he's a personal friend of yours," he said.
"Thank you," I said quietly before hanging up. For the next few hours I paced the eerily empty apartment, stopping every so often to check on Sidney. He slept fitfully, tossing and turning. His face was scrunched up as if he was having a nightmare, and I allowed tears to flow freely as I watched him sleep. Marc and Evgeni were his best friends, and he couldn't stand to see anyone hurt. Around 11:30 I forced myself to make pancakes, hoping that Sidney would eat them. When he woke up around 2, he had trouble choking them down.
"I don't want to eat," he croaked, staring down at the plate in front of him. A surge of sadness tugged at my stomach, but I forced myself to remain strong and looked him in the eyes. Oh my God...his eyes. His eyes were still bloodshot; it was obvious that he had been crying in his sleep. The usually bright hazel was muddled with something dark and frightening.
"Sidney...you have to eat," I said. He simply stared at me.
"But I'm not hungry," he muttered.
"Sidney, Marc is alive so stop acting like he died, and eat. Please. As horrible as it sounds, you need to stop thinking about it before you get any more upset," I said, probably a little more harshly than originally intended. He cringed slightly before taking a bite. He was only able to eat 3, but 3 was better than none. Once he stopped eating I grabbed his hands and pulled him over to the couch. He moved with no emotion, like a robot. I suppressed a shudder and made him sit down.
"Alice..." he said quietly.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"You said I need to stop thinking about it for a while, right?" he asked. His voice was raw with tears, but they weren't flowing yet.
"Yes," I said. My voice was beginning to catch in my throat. It was unbearable to see him so upset.
"Distract me," he croaked. I felt my stomach hit the floor, but for once it wasn't a good feeling. I slid onto the couch next to him and kissed him, putting as much love into the kiss as I possibly could. I struggled to stem my own tears as I felt his hit my face, hot and wet. His lips trembled as he wrapped his arms tightly around me. He pulled me into his chest, placed his head on my shoulder, and began to sob. I lost it, no longer able to fight my own tears. I cradled him in my arms and let him cry, crying silently myself.
We sat like that for hours, even after Sidney wasn't able to cry any more. It was scary to see him cry. He was always so strong, but now he couldn't control himself.
"Alice, can I have a drink?" he asked.
"Yeah, what do you want?" I asked.
"Water...please." he croaked, rubbing his eyes. He looked so lost, and extremely afraid. Once I handed him a glass of water he guzzled it and I cupped his face in my hands.
"Why do I feel like there is something you're not telling me?" I asked quietly.
"Because there is," he said.
"What?" I asked.
"The...the last time I had a friend get in a car accident...they said he was gonna live...but three days later he died...I...I can't have that happen again Alice. I just can't," Sidney choked out. I immediately hugged him as tightly as I could.
"Sid...he's going to be okay. I promise." I said, beginning to rock him once more.
"I hope so," Sidney muttered, hugging me back. This is the worst feeling I've ever had...please God, let him be okay...Sidney needs him to be okay...and so do I.