Salvation
Chapter 11
“Frank! I’m home!” I called out as I closed the door and followed my nose to the source of the delicious smells radiating from the kitchen.
“Oh honey, you’re just in time for dinner!” Frank laughed in a high, girlish voice, dancing around my kitchen to a rock song that blasted out of my radio, which I didn’t even know had stations that played music like that.
“You made dinner? You didn’t have to do that.” I laughed, dumping my coat onto the counter. It struck me suddenly how natural the situation and the laughter was and my smile collapsed.
Frank noticed and immediately stilled, turning off the radio and leaning back against the counter, watching me.
“What now?” he asked exasperatedly.
“This isn’t right, I should never have let you kiss me in the restaurant, I should never have kissed you when you turned up here. It was a mistake. I shouldn’t even have agreed to let you stay. My mother would have a fit if she knew. My brother…” I trailed off; those memories were still painful.
“I didn’t know you have a brother.”
“Had a brother,” I corrected him quietly.
“I’m sorry Gerard.”
“Me too.”
“I can leave if you really want me to.” I sighed at his wording; he knew, he knew I didn’t really want him to leave.
“You can stay Frank, just no more teasing or kissing or flirting or sleeping in my bed.”
“Gone back to thinking it’s an illness?”
“I never stopped.”
“You know medical research has proven it isn’t, right?”
“Science is blinded Frank.”
“You’re ridiculous.” He shook his head and turned his attention back to the dinner he was getting out of the oven.
But I was surprised when he only made up one plate of vegetables with roast potatoes and a pie and handed it to me.
“Aren’t you eating?”
“No.”
“Frank, you should, you look thinner already than when I first met you.”
“No Gerard.”
“Frank –” He cut me off.
“I can’t eat, ok? Anything I try to eat I just throw back up again.” My stomach dropped.
"Because off...?"
"Because of the cancer, yeah."
“Frank, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, whatever. I’m going to bed Gerard.”
I ate my dinner in silence at the table, feeling guilty and ashamed that I had been so insensitive.
After I had washed up, I crept into Frank’s room. He was curled up in the foetal position with dried tears on his cheeks and a troubled expression distorting his sleeping face. I sighed and went into my bedroom to change into my pyjamas before returned to Frank and sliding under the duvet behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. His face instantly softened and he looked peaceful. I grumbled quietly as I too began to succumb to sleep, but not before my mind drifted back to the conversation I’d had with Abigail earlier that day, a conversation I was starting to regret.
“Oh honey, you’re just in time for dinner!” Frank laughed in a high, girlish voice, dancing around my kitchen to a rock song that blasted out of my radio, which I didn’t even know had stations that played music like that.
“You made dinner? You didn’t have to do that.” I laughed, dumping my coat onto the counter. It struck me suddenly how natural the situation and the laughter was and my smile collapsed.
Frank noticed and immediately stilled, turning off the radio and leaning back against the counter, watching me.
“What now?” he asked exasperatedly.
“This isn’t right, I should never have let you kiss me in the restaurant, I should never have kissed you when you turned up here. It was a mistake. I shouldn’t even have agreed to let you stay. My mother would have a fit if she knew. My brother…” I trailed off; those memories were still painful.
“I didn’t know you have a brother.”
“Had a brother,” I corrected him quietly.
“I’m sorry Gerard.”
“Me too.”
“I can leave if you really want me to.” I sighed at his wording; he knew, he knew I didn’t really want him to leave.
“You can stay Frank, just no more teasing or kissing or flirting or sleeping in my bed.”
“Gone back to thinking it’s an illness?”
“I never stopped.”
“You know medical research has proven it isn’t, right?”
“Science is blinded Frank.”
“You’re ridiculous.” He shook his head and turned his attention back to the dinner he was getting out of the oven.
But I was surprised when he only made up one plate of vegetables with roast potatoes and a pie and handed it to me.
“Aren’t you eating?”
“No.”
“Frank, you should, you look thinner already than when I first met you.”
“No Gerard.”
“Frank –” He cut me off.
“I can’t eat, ok? Anything I try to eat I just throw back up again.” My stomach dropped.
"Because off...?"
"Because of the cancer, yeah."
“Frank, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, whatever. I’m going to bed Gerard.”
I ate my dinner in silence at the table, feeling guilty and ashamed that I had been so insensitive.
After I had washed up, I crept into Frank’s room. He was curled up in the foetal position with dried tears on his cheeks and a troubled expression distorting his sleeping face. I sighed and went into my bedroom to change into my pyjamas before returned to Frank and sliding under the duvet behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. His face instantly softened and he looked peaceful. I grumbled quietly as I too began to succumb to sleep, but not before my mind drifted back to the conversation I’d had with Abigail earlier that day, a conversation I was starting to regret.