Salvation
Chapter 13
As I woke, everything in my brain was annoyingly cloudy. A thick, impenetrable fog filled every metaphorical crack and crevice of my mind, hiding thoughts and memories from me. It was incredibly frustrating.
I rubbed my eyes and sat up, not bothering to open them yet. It was nice to gather what was going on around me from the other senses first. Humanity relied too heavily on sight and as a result was blind to the truth that was God, among other things.
I noticed for the first time since I regained consciousness that I was naked under my bed covers, which was the first unusual thing. The other was the dull sense of bliss that pulsed throughout my entire body. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced before.
I finally eased my eyes open and was drawn to movement at the foot of my bed as Frank pulled on his discarded boxers.
“What? What did you do?” I demanded.
“Exactly what you begged me to do Gerard.” He told me harshly, looking at me in the eyes as he tucked on side of his hair behind an ear.
“I would never…” I began to protest and then a more urgent thought entered my mind. “Did we have sex?!”
“You think I’m that fucking stupid? No, we didn’t have sex.”
“What did we do then?”
“Pretty much everything but.” Memories flooded back with his words as if they, as if he, were the key to my mind. I wished with almost all my heart that the fog would return and the throbbing bliss would vanish. The physical reminder of what I, what we, had done.
“How could you?!” I exclaimed angrily.
“How could I what? As far as I remember it, and I was the sober one, you were the one who kissed me, who ‘needed’ me.” If I had been in any rational state of mind then I might have wondered how he managed to stay so calm, but I wasn’t, and I exploded, figuratively of course.
“Faggot scum! This is why you’re ill! It is God’s punishment for being gay and trying to lead me astray!” Frank looked at me agape. I could see the hurt buried hidden deep in his eyes. I instantly regretted my words and I knew that his reasoning was true and I was the one who had been untruthful with what I had said. But it was too late to show him that I didn’t really mean it and that I was just scared.
“You know Gerard, I knew you were religious, but I thought you were still human. You can go fuck yourself.” He left the room without another word, I was immediately out of bed, pulling on the nearest clothes I could find and following him.
I found him hunched over the toilet, being violent sick. I tried to put a comforting hand on his back, to move his hair out of the way, but he flipped me off. I didn’t move though and for a second he looked up at me with tear filled eyes, whether it was from my words or being sick, I didn’t know. I knew it broke my heart.
“Just leave me alone Gerard,” he whispered, before throwing up again.
I rubbed my eyes and sat up, not bothering to open them yet. It was nice to gather what was going on around me from the other senses first. Humanity relied too heavily on sight and as a result was blind to the truth that was God, among other things.
I noticed for the first time since I regained consciousness that I was naked under my bed covers, which was the first unusual thing. The other was the dull sense of bliss that pulsed throughout my entire body. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced before.
I finally eased my eyes open and was drawn to movement at the foot of my bed as Frank pulled on his discarded boxers.
“What? What did you do?” I demanded.
“Exactly what you begged me to do Gerard.” He told me harshly, looking at me in the eyes as he tucked on side of his hair behind an ear.
“I would never…” I began to protest and then a more urgent thought entered my mind. “Did we have sex?!”
“You think I’m that fucking stupid? No, we didn’t have sex.”
“What did we do then?”
“Pretty much everything but.” Memories flooded back with his words as if they, as if he, were the key to my mind. I wished with almost all my heart that the fog would return and the throbbing bliss would vanish. The physical reminder of what I, what we, had done.
“How could you?!” I exclaimed angrily.
“How could I what? As far as I remember it, and I was the sober one, you were the one who kissed me, who ‘needed’ me.” If I had been in any rational state of mind then I might have wondered how he managed to stay so calm, but I wasn’t, and I exploded, figuratively of course.
“Faggot scum! This is why you’re ill! It is God’s punishment for being gay and trying to lead me astray!” Frank looked at me agape. I could see the hurt buried hidden deep in his eyes. I instantly regretted my words and I knew that his reasoning was true and I was the one who had been untruthful with what I had said. But it was too late to show him that I didn’t really mean it and that I was just scared.
“You know Gerard, I knew you were religious, but I thought you were still human. You can go fuck yourself.” He left the room without another word, I was immediately out of bed, pulling on the nearest clothes I could find and following him.
I found him hunched over the toilet, being violent sick. I tried to put a comforting hand on his back, to move his hair out of the way, but he flipped me off. I didn’t move though and for a second he looked up at me with tear filled eyes, whether it was from my words or being sick, I didn’t know. I knew it broke my heart.
“Just leave me alone Gerard,” he whispered, before throwing up again.