Salvation

“Yeah, but we need to talk about us.” Oh.

I felt my happy face crumble and I put my half-empty bowl of pasta down on the coffee table. Frank copied me, the two clunks of ceramic hitting wood the only sound in the house.

“Frank, I –” My voice was thick, my fingers twisting around each other until Frank caught them and laced them between his own. I could only stare at our intertwined hands, not daring to raise by face the tiniest bit to see into his eyes, right down to his soul.

“No Gerard,” he interrupted me firmly, I pressed my lips together worriedly. “I know this is all happening quickly, maybe too quickly for my liking and for what’s good for you but I guess that’s the way things go. We need to talk about this before we get different ideas of what we are and where this is going.” I sighed, knowing he was right but wishing he wasn’t.

“In all honest truth Frank, I’m just blagging each second with you, okay? I mean, this, with you, sometimes it just feels natural, but I have no idea what I’m doing.” I confessed, my head hanging low until his firm fingers on my chin raised my face so my eyes finally met his. Then he had me caught.

“Gerard, I don’t expect you to know what you’re doing, I’m prepared for uncertainty. But Gerard, I want to be with you, I work to work through all those uncertainties with you. I don’t just want to help you anymore, I want to be with you.” If the painfully honest tone of his voice didn’t convince me he was completely sincere then the emotional, smouldering look in his eyes would have.

“But why?” I asked quietly, letting insecurities shine through my carefully built armour, though I was careful not to let him know exactly what those insecurities were.

“Because…because why would I not?! I mean, for starters you’re fucking gorgeous and I want to find out the person you’ll be when religion doesn’t completely dictate your life anymore.”

“Frank, I’m scared. I’m really, really terrified.”

“It’s fine Gee, I’m here, I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you, always.” There was another heavy silence as he paused, I wasn’t sure whether it was so he could muster up the courage or get the words right for what I knew he was about to do or if it was to increase the excited, emotional tension that not only filled the room but the pit of my stomach as well. “Gerard, will you be my –” My breath caught in my throat as a loud knock on the front door interrupted him.

“Fuck,” I muttered as I stood up. “I’m really sorry, this is totally unexpected.”

“It’s fine Gerard, whoever it is, get rid of them quick so we can continue where we left off.” I sighed and pulled his face up into a tender kiss, I think surprising him a little that I was the one instigating it. I broke it off at another knock and went to find out who had interrupted our moment.

I was assaulted by golden hair the second I opened the door as Abigail launched herself on me.

“Gerard!” She squealed, smothering my cheek in kisses. I scowled.

“Hi Abbi, what are you doing here?” I tried to sound at least a little bit enthusiastic about seeing her, but I couldn’t believe that Frank had been interrupted for this.

“Well, you hadn’t called or spoken to me yet so I wanted to come round and make sure you were okay and maybe do something together.”

“Abbi, our date was yesterday, I don’t think not speaking to you in a day is cause for concern.”

“It is when you’re in a committed relationship like ours!” Yep committed, that’s what they call it when not two hours ago I had my lips wrapped around Frank’s dick and visa versa three hours ago. “So what did you want to do tonight then?” She chirped annoyingly and I fought the urge to groan; she was bringing on the kind of migraine hat only Frank and some privacy could dissolve.

“Do you want to come in and watch a movie or something?” Again I tried not to sound bored but a movie had definitely not been on my to-do list for tonight. But I had to play the role of perfect boyfriend right? Just so my mother could have her perfect little happy family.

“Oh my, I’d love to! What are we going to watch?! Can I decide?! Oh I’m going to surprise us with something wonderful!” She spieled off all in one go without letting me get a word in edgeways. As she danced into the living room, Frank emerged from the kitchen with a funny mixture of bemusement, confusion and annoyance written across his face. He looked pointedly at Abbi and then at me. I shrugged and pulled him close, glancing to make sure Abbi couldn’t see.

“I couldn’t get rid of her, I’m sorry.” I whispered in his ear as his arms circled my waist. “I promise I’ll make it up to you when she’s gone if you just be nice now.”

“I will hold you to that whether or not I can control my smart-ass, snarky attitude,” he teased. I shivered at the promise.

“Gee-bear, where are you?!” Abbi whined from the lounge.

“Gee-bear?! What the fuck is that?!” Frank whispered. I shrugged and pushed him out of the way slightly to get into the living room, Frank following behind me. I didn’t miss the way Abbi’s eyes narrowed when she spotted him.

“What is he doing here?!” She made no effort to be civil.

“He lives here Abbi; he has every right to be here.” I was finding it difficult to remain calm.

“On our date night?!”

“Abbi, you just turned up unannounced on my doorstep, this doesn’t count as a date.”

“Every moment I spend with you counts to me Gerard,” she said quietly, hurt in her voice. I heard Frank behind me coughing to cover up his laughter and frowned slightly, remembering what my mother could do to me if she thought I was being a bad boyfriend to Abigail.

“I’m sorry baby,” I came to stand by her, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her close. I heard Frank’s almost inaudible growls of jealously and fought the urge to chuckle. It would do him good to be jealous. “What movie did you pick sweetheart?” Abbi instantly brightened up and pulled me down so we were curled up on the sofa together, exactly where Frank and I had been doing filthy things to each other hours earlier. This forced Frank to sit scowling on his own in the armchair, pouting every time I looked at him to the point where I had to stop looking at him or I would start laughing.

The movie Abbi had chosen was a sickly-sweet romantic comedy called Just Like Heaven. If it was possible then I think Frank hated it more than I did, especially because I kept stealing kisses from Abbi throughout the duration of the film for fear of the wrath of my mother. Abbi, however, was blubbing ridiculously by the end of the film and it took me another hour to get her calmed down and out of my house with Frank constantly making irritated, sarcastic comments.

The second I had the door closed behind her, Frank’s lips were pressed against mine as his small, but surprisingly strong, body pinned me to the door.

“We were talking,” I reminded him as we pulled apart for air, panting slightly.

“Screw talking, I need release from pent up aggression. God I just want to hit that girl!”

“As long as I’m still a virgin when I wake up tomorrow then we can do whatever you want.” I told him solemnly, burying my face in his neck. He growled,

“Now that is the kind of Gerard I could get used to.” Then he giggled and pulled my hair so that my lips could come crashing back down onto his own.