Salvation

“Mrs Cole, I understand that you don’t like taking tablets, but it’s the only way to get rid of the fungal infection on your leg. The reason it’s not getting better s because you aren’t taking your medication. I’m worried that if you don’t start soon then you may end up having your leg amputated before it spreads.” The elderly woman looked at me with a shocked expression on her wizened and wrinkled face.

“Yes Doctor Way, of course.”

“Alright Mrs Cole, make an appointment for two weeks time and I’ll see you then. Make sure you take your medication Mrs Cole.”

“Yes Doctor Way, thank you Doctor Way.” The woman heaved herself out of the chair and hobbled of my office with the help of a walking stick. I sighed and washed my hands with disinfectant, glancing at my computer screen to find my next appointment.

Seconds later, I heard the patient outside my door.

“Please! You know I’m terrified of needles!” The twenty-four year old male who needed a vaccination begged.

“Jon, you are going to Ghana for a month. You need this. I need you back alive and well.”

“I can’t!”

“Baby, just trust me. I’ll hold your hand the entire time and later I’ll make it up to you. How does that sound?” I recognized that voice. Realization dawned on me; Frank wasn’t the type to go to Sunday Mass because he was gay. Frank was gay.

I had no more time to be shocked as he entered my office with his – his boyfriend, and my patient, in tow. I shuddered slightly when I remembered how close we’d been standing two nights before.

“Oh!” Frank exclaimed slightly when he spotted me sat at my desk. Apparently, he hadn’t been expecting to see me either.

He didn’t let go of his – his boyfriend’s hand as they entered my office, even though he knew who I was, what I could do. He wasn’t scared of me. I gestured for my patient to take the seat next to my desk, retrieving the box I needed from my cabinet as I did.

“So, Mr Jonathan Fields?” Frank seemed to notice my nervousness and smirked as he sat down on the chair next to his…boyfriend. I shot him a glare and resisted the urge to dry heave as Frank kissed Jonathan’s cheek, his eyes never leaving mine.

“That’s me,” Jonathon confirmed nervously. Frank squeezed his hand encouragingly. Jonathon hadn’t seemed to notice that his…boyfriend’s eyes hadn’t left mine. It was hard for me to even think the word.

“Apologies for having to change your appointment Mr Fields, I had to move my working days around last minute.”

“It’s fine, this actually worked out better cause it meant Frank here could come too.”

“Yes…right.” I couldn’t understand why my receptionist had let them through, or at least both of them together. She knew how I felt and would usually switch my patients like that to another doctor.

“So you’re here for a vaccination for yellow fever before a month long trip to Ghana, is that correct?”

“Yep, and I need signed certification to get into the country.” He sighed as looked desperately at Frank again, who smiled supportively.

“Ok then, just rest your arm on the table, roll your sleeve up and relax your arm.” I told him as I prepared the syringe behind the lid of the box so he wouldn’t see it. His anxiousness visibly doubled.

“I’m terrified of needles.” He confessed what I already knew.

“I used to be too. You just have to remember that they’re there to help you.” He bit his lip and gripped Frank’s hand tighter, following my previous instructions and squeezing his eyes tightly shut.

“I need you to relax your arm Jonathan,” I told him quietly but he couldn’t seem to be able to do it. I shot a pleading look at Frank who nodded.

“Jon, just listen to my voice. You have to relax, just breathe, take deep breaths. Think about last night, relax your muscles, steady breathing.” The second he relaxed I pushed the needle into his arm, breaking the skin and injecting the vaccine into his bloodstream.

The instant the syringe was empty and the needle removed from his arm, Jonathon squeaked and buried his face in Frank’s shoulder, who rubbed his back comfortingly.

“He’s usually quite strong and confident but show him a needle and he’s reduced to a quivering wreck.” Frank told me with an evil smirk. He knew exactly what this was doing to me and he was loving very second of it. I scowled at him as I wiped Jonathan’s arm with antiseptic and stuck a small plaster on it, happy to turn away from Frank to print off the required paperwork.

I filled in the necessary information and pushed it over for Jonathon to sign.

After a few more health suggestions for his trip on my part, he stood up and left, Frank following behind him.

I should have kept my mouth shut. I wanted to keep my mouth shut but I couldn’t stop myself.

“Frank!” I called out, biting my lip in regret after I had.

“Go wait in the car honey, I’ll be right out.” I heard him say to Jonathan before he stepped back into my office and closed the door quietly behind him. “What do you want Gerard? I don’t give a fuck about the eternal damnation I’m supposedly getting for being who I am. You shouldn’t waste your breath on offering me salvation.”

“I – I wasn’t going to.” I confessed to him before I even realized it myself.

“So why did you call me back?” That smug smile played his back onto his lips that I had very quickly grown to dislike.

“I – I don’t know.” I didn’t understand why I suddenly seemed to have developed a stutter when I was around this man I had only met twice.

“We drove past your friends outside the funeral, but you’re not there. Why is that?” When I didn’t answer him he carried on. “I knew that Jon was going to see a Doctor Way who changed his appointment last minute, but I never made the connection. So why aren’t you there Gerard?”

“I – I don’t know.” I confessed again. I had no real reason to move my appointments when I thought about it.

“I think that you listened to me, maybe even only on a subconscious level.”

“I –”

“I also think that you know I’m right.”

“Shut up.” I finally managed to speak relatively confidently.

“Oooh! That’s not very loving or Christian of you, is it? Or is it cause I’m a fag? Don’t you need to go and confess or something for that?”

“No!” I lied angrily. He laughed and turned to leave.

“Frank, wait! There is still is still time to repent you know, God is ready to forgive you if you just turn back to him.” He smiled and looked down at his feet and for a second, I thought I might have succeeded.

“You just don’t get it, do you?” Apparently, I was wrong.

“Get what?”

“One day Gerard, maybe one day you’ll understand,” and with that he left, leaving me in perhaps even more confusion than last time. I couldn’t really understand why I found this strange, sinning , man with his tattoos and piercing so totally infuriating, but I did.