Salvation
Chapter 4
Two weeks had passed since my encounters with the strange, sinning man and to my relief, everything returned back to normal and I felt the need to throw myself into my religion even more.
I made more posters for around the town, I spent a whole day helping some of my elderly sisters in faith cleaning the church and by beginning to set up a youth group to help young people understand why we believe what we do.
I was glad that I hadn’t seen Frank again, he seemed to be an enigma which I didn’t care to delve into. I still couldn’t work out why he’d talked to me that day of the protest. All I knew was that he had been on my mind a lot of the last few weeks, almost constantly. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I had a feeling it was God telling me that I had to help this man return to His light. But there was something about Frank that unsettled me, so for the first time in my life, I was going to put off God’s wishes for me in the hopes that they were wrong, or that they would go away. Though I knew they wouldn’t and I would eventually have to confess to having ignored God’s calling and follow His wishes.
I was sat in my office, it was a Monday morning. I only had one appointment before lunch and I still had half an hour before my patient was due. I had done everything I could possibly need to do and more and now I was doing a shameful thing and wasting time by playing Solitaire on my computer. As I did, a passage from Revelations sprang to mind.
'But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idler, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulphur, which is the second death.'
I hastily shut the game and wrote down idling on my list to confess. I understood that making a list was bad, but I hated the idea of forgetting something and not receiving forgiveness for it, so to be burdened with sin for another week before Reconciliation.
I couldn’t believe I’d been so foolish and I spent the remainder of the time in prayer. Before I knew it there was a knock on my door. I jumped ever so slightly and called for my patient to enter my office. They sat down and I checked their name on my computer before I looked at them.
“So, Mr Ben Dover?” There was a snort from the seat and my head shot up to see Frank sat there, his knees pressed together with his hands resting on them and swinging his feet back and forth, trying to hold in laughter.
“You!” I accused, shocked to see him sat there and wondering why he hadn’t used his real name. “What’s so funny?”
“Mr Ben Dover? Bend over? Dear God, my humour is so wasted on you.” I just looked at him confused, my expression seemed to make him laugh even more yet I still didn’t get what was so funny.
“What are you doing here?” I frowned.
“You still don’t get it do you? Then again, I suppose you’re not an expert on gay sex.” My eyes grew wide and I stood up, pointing to the door.
“I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
“No wait!” His eyes turned sad and he looked nervously down at his feet, which stopped swinging. I sat back down again. “I need your help,” he confessed quietly.
“What is it Frank?”
“I need you to check a lump for me. It been there for over three weeks and it’s really starting to worry me and I didn’t want to mention it to Jon just in case it’s the worst but I just need you to tell me what you think.” I studied his face, he genuinely looked terrified and lumps were often symptoms of cancer. I sighed.
“Come and sit on the bed here.” I directed him, coming to stand next to him. “Show me where the lump is.” He felt around on his side a bit before pointing to an area around his spleen. I nodded, that was an area of lymph nodes that often would swell in the cases of cancer but sometimes for other, less fatal and easily treatable reasons.
“It’s here.” he confirmed.
“Okay, I’m…I’m going to need you to take off your shirt.” I told him reluctantly. He smirked though the worry was still in his eyes.
“You just couldn’t wait to get me out of my clothes, could you?” He teased as he pulled it off. I scowled and immediately found the lump and tested it gently with my fingers, trying to avoid my eyes wondering up to the ‘hope’ tattoo above his heart or his pale skin stretched over prominent hipbones.
“What do you think?” Frank asked after a minute.
“I think that since you said it’s been there for three weeks I’m going to refer you for a hospital check up just to be sure. But I wouldn’t worry too much, the lump appears to be a swollen lymph node. Now, that is a symptom of cancer but in some cases they do swell for no real reason and you can just wait for them to go down or have them removed which is a simple procedure. But a hospital scan should confirm exactly what it is.”
“Thank you.” He smiled at me, our eyes met. “And Gerard?”
“Yeah?”
“You still have a hand on my hip.” He smiled mischievously and my arm shot back. He giggled slightly under his breath and went to pull back on his shirt. I went back to my computer and began to fill out the details for a referral.
“I can get you a scan earliest this time in two weeks how does that sound?”
“That’s fine, I should be able to get the time off work.” I wasn’t going to lie to myself, I was a little surprised that someone that looked like he did could get a job. Then again, it didn’t mean his work was respectable. I nodded and booked him in.
"Surname?" I inquired.
"Iero. I-E-R-O."
“Is that everything?” I asked, turning back to him. Another evil smile played on his lips.
“If I tell you I found a lump on my testicles, will you feel them up too?”
“Frank! This has got to stop!” I exclaimed, getting angry. I had to remind myself of James 1:19-21, muttering it out loud to myself to calm myself down. “‘My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.’”
Frank jumped down off the bed and came to stand right in front of my, his chest, his lips, only inches from mine.
“James 4:1-3. ‘Where do all the fights and quarrels among you come from? They come from your desires for pleasure, which are constantly fighting within you. You want things, but you cannot have them, so you are ready to kill; you strongly desire things, but you cannot get them, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have what you want because you do not ask God for it. And when you ask, you do not receive it, because your motives are bad; you ask for things to use for your own pleasures.’” He recited the Bible verse perfectly. I would know, it was one I had studied the night before in preparation for the youth group. I could not understand how he knew it.
“Why are you doing this?” I finally whispered.
“Doing what?” He asked innocently.
“I don’t know.”
“James 5:19-20. ‘My brothers and sisters, if any of you wander away from the truth and another one brings them back again, remember this: whoever turns a sinner back from his or her wrong way will save that sinner’s soul (or his own soul) from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins.'”
“I don’t understand.”
“I’ve told you before Gerard; you will one day.” And then he left again, snatching his referral slip out of my fingertips and leaving me in a dumbfounded state of anger and bewilderment.
I made more posters for around the town, I spent a whole day helping some of my elderly sisters in faith cleaning the church and by beginning to set up a youth group to help young people understand why we believe what we do.
I was glad that I hadn’t seen Frank again, he seemed to be an enigma which I didn’t care to delve into. I still couldn’t work out why he’d talked to me that day of the protest. All I knew was that he had been on my mind a lot of the last few weeks, almost constantly. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I had a feeling it was God telling me that I had to help this man return to His light. But there was something about Frank that unsettled me, so for the first time in my life, I was going to put off God’s wishes for me in the hopes that they were wrong, or that they would go away. Though I knew they wouldn’t and I would eventually have to confess to having ignored God’s calling and follow His wishes.
I was sat in my office, it was a Monday morning. I only had one appointment before lunch and I still had half an hour before my patient was due. I had done everything I could possibly need to do and more and now I was doing a shameful thing and wasting time by playing Solitaire on my computer. As I did, a passage from Revelations sprang to mind.
'But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idler, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulphur, which is the second death.'
I hastily shut the game and wrote down idling on my list to confess. I understood that making a list was bad, but I hated the idea of forgetting something and not receiving forgiveness for it, so to be burdened with sin for another week before Reconciliation.
I couldn’t believe I’d been so foolish and I spent the remainder of the time in prayer. Before I knew it there was a knock on my door. I jumped ever so slightly and called for my patient to enter my office. They sat down and I checked their name on my computer before I looked at them.
“So, Mr Ben Dover?” There was a snort from the seat and my head shot up to see Frank sat there, his knees pressed together with his hands resting on them and swinging his feet back and forth, trying to hold in laughter.
“You!” I accused, shocked to see him sat there and wondering why he hadn’t used his real name. “What’s so funny?”
“Mr Ben Dover? Bend over? Dear God, my humour is so wasted on you.” I just looked at him confused, my expression seemed to make him laugh even more yet I still didn’t get what was so funny.
“What are you doing here?” I frowned.
“You still don’t get it do you? Then again, I suppose you’re not an expert on gay sex.” My eyes grew wide and I stood up, pointing to the door.
“I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
“No wait!” His eyes turned sad and he looked nervously down at his feet, which stopped swinging. I sat back down again. “I need your help,” he confessed quietly.
“What is it Frank?”
“I need you to check a lump for me. It been there for over three weeks and it’s really starting to worry me and I didn’t want to mention it to Jon just in case it’s the worst but I just need you to tell me what you think.” I studied his face, he genuinely looked terrified and lumps were often symptoms of cancer. I sighed.
“Come and sit on the bed here.” I directed him, coming to stand next to him. “Show me where the lump is.” He felt around on his side a bit before pointing to an area around his spleen. I nodded, that was an area of lymph nodes that often would swell in the cases of cancer but sometimes for other, less fatal and easily treatable reasons.
“It’s here.” he confirmed.
“Okay, I’m…I’m going to need you to take off your shirt.” I told him reluctantly. He smirked though the worry was still in his eyes.
“You just couldn’t wait to get me out of my clothes, could you?” He teased as he pulled it off. I scowled and immediately found the lump and tested it gently with my fingers, trying to avoid my eyes wondering up to the ‘hope’ tattoo above his heart or his pale skin stretched over prominent hipbones.
“What do you think?” Frank asked after a minute.
“I think that since you said it’s been there for three weeks I’m going to refer you for a hospital check up just to be sure. But I wouldn’t worry too much, the lump appears to be a swollen lymph node. Now, that is a symptom of cancer but in some cases they do swell for no real reason and you can just wait for them to go down or have them removed which is a simple procedure. But a hospital scan should confirm exactly what it is.”
“Thank you.” He smiled at me, our eyes met. “And Gerard?”
“Yeah?”
“You still have a hand on my hip.” He smiled mischievously and my arm shot back. He giggled slightly under his breath and went to pull back on his shirt. I went back to my computer and began to fill out the details for a referral.
“I can get you a scan earliest this time in two weeks how does that sound?”
“That’s fine, I should be able to get the time off work.” I wasn’t going to lie to myself, I was a little surprised that someone that looked like he did could get a job. Then again, it didn’t mean his work was respectable. I nodded and booked him in.
"Surname?" I inquired.
"Iero. I-E-R-O."
“Is that everything?” I asked, turning back to him. Another evil smile played on his lips.
“If I tell you I found a lump on my testicles, will you feel them up too?”
“Frank! This has got to stop!” I exclaimed, getting angry. I had to remind myself of James 1:19-21, muttering it out loud to myself to calm myself down. “‘My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.’”
Frank jumped down off the bed and came to stand right in front of my, his chest, his lips, only inches from mine.
“James 4:1-3. ‘Where do all the fights and quarrels among you come from? They come from your desires for pleasure, which are constantly fighting within you. You want things, but you cannot have them, so you are ready to kill; you strongly desire things, but you cannot get them, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have what you want because you do not ask God for it. And when you ask, you do not receive it, because your motives are bad; you ask for things to use for your own pleasures.’” He recited the Bible verse perfectly. I would know, it was one I had studied the night before in preparation for the youth group. I could not understand how he knew it.
“Why are you doing this?” I finally whispered.
“Doing what?” He asked innocently.
“I don’t know.”
“James 5:19-20. ‘My brothers and sisters, if any of you wander away from the truth and another one brings them back again, remember this: whoever turns a sinner back from his or her wrong way will save that sinner’s soul (or his own soul) from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins.'”
“I don’t understand.”
“I’ve told you before Gerard; you will one day.” And then he left again, snatching his referral slip out of my fingertips and leaving me in a dumbfounded state of anger and bewilderment.