Sequel: Butterflies and Hurricanes ›
Fear Of The Dark
Chapter XV
After only two days of having the girls living with us, the house already felt like it had a woman’s touch. I mean, yes there were the maids but we barely noticed them, whereas Kirsty and Sarah were...living...with us, this was their home and they'd affected it. For starters our cussing had been cut down immensely and we were far more aware of following etiquette.
Currently we were out in the park walking with them. Jimmy was being rather...un-gentleman like, shall I say and chasing after what he thought was 'the biggest fucking duck' he'd ever seen. It was obvious he'd never seen a goose before, but it was entertaining the girls who had hung back with Matt and Johnny to watch him, leaving Zack and myself to continue walking.
I glanced behind us to see Kirsty smiling widely at Jimmy, her laugh soft and delicate, whilst holding onto Matt's right arm and holding her parasol over her head to keep it from the sunshine we had been graced with. "Still running after his 'duck'?" Zack chuckled and I turned back to him with a grin.
"Yeah, but it's keeping them two happy so I'm not complaining really."
Zack nodded in agreement and looked ahead of him as we passed a couple and greeted them. Then a smug look appeared on his face as he himself looked back at the others. Then he looked at me. "You're a cocky fucker, you know that?"
I frowned, wondering where this had come from. "That means what exactly?"
"Everybody knows French is the so-called most romantic language," he grinned slyly.
I pulled my pocket watch from my pocket and glanced at the time before returning it to it's rightful place. Anything not to answer Zack right now. He wasn't gonna take silence as an answer though and nudged me rather painfully in the side. If he wasn't still healing from broken ribs I would have retaliated.
"Just because it's a romantic language, doesn't mean anything," I frowned. "Stop reading too far into things, you'll make yourself sound like a woman."
"What's to read?" Zack shrugged with a sincere look on his face. He wasn't going to let up, I could tell. And if he did, it would only be a temporary break from it. "Just admit it Brian, you have a soft spot for her."
I scowled and stopped walking. Zack, not realising at first, walked a few more steps than myself before stopping and turning to look at me. Thankfully there were no people within hearing distance so when the low growl came from deep within my chest, only Zack heard it. "Unlike you, I can keep to the rules and I don't get involved." I growled out at him.
"Says you who basically told me to screw the rules the other night," Zack frowned, then he ran a hand over his face. "Just admit you like her Brian, okay?"
"No, because I don't like her, not that way. She's just...a friend," I retorted, unsure of whether she should even have been that. "Why don't you talk to Sarah? You obviously like her, so stop bugging me about things that aren't real."
"At least I'm man enough to admit when I like someone," were Zack's parting words, before he did exactly as I said and went over to Sarah. I sighed, watching as she took his arm and he smiled down at her affectionately making her smile shyly in return. Then my eyes wandered to Kirsty who was waving her arms about as she spoke about something to Matt and making him laugh.
I felt the corners of my mouth trying to tug upwards into a smile, but I denied it and drew in a deep breath. It was a failed attempt though when Kirsty broke away from Matt, her sparkling blue eyes meeting mine and a smile forming on her lips as she quickened her pace towards me. I stood where I was then offered her my arm which she took with a smile.
"You know, Mr Haner, you shall be flooded with complaints for Mr Sullivan’s behaviour today," she began, tilting her parasol to her right so to see up at my face, from underneath her hat. "It is quite inappropriate to run around exclaiming such vile words, especially in the company of women."
"Well I beg your pardon Miss de Farrars, but if my memory serves me correctly, which it does, when I saved you the night Miss Nichols was murdered you spoke more like a sailor than the elegant young lady who stands beside me now." Elegant young lady? What the fuck is that you idiot?! "Obviously, your mind does not serve you so well."
"If my mind did not serve me well would I be acting so much like my proper title would suggest and would I have spoken such beautiful French, as you put it?" I saw a sly grin on her face as she spoke this and I couldn't help but smile in defeat.
"Ah, touche," I scratched my neck sheepishly before dropping my hand and pulling at the chain my pocket watch was attached to, so to see the time once more. She laughed lightly and continued to look ahead of her at the path we were treading. I found it hard to believe she was actually only eighteen; if she hadn't told me, I would have continued to mistake her for my age.
On our walk back to Eaton Place, we made light conversation, though I liked that. Girls who talked too much annoyed me and they were most often, very boring, very dry women who tried too hard or told lies about themselves in order to seem more interesting. We'd barely been home five minutes when the butler entered the drawing room.
"There are two gentleman here, Miss de Farrars, who wish to have an audience with you," he said politely and all eyes turned on her. She frowned, glancing at Sarah and Johnny. They shared a look that none of the rest of us understood, something that passed information between the three of them without the need for words so that the rest of us couldn't hear. "I told him to wait in the morning room."
"Did they say if they wished it to be a private audience?" Kirsty enquired, having already rose from her seat.
"No miss," the Scottish man answered her politely as if she had always been here and never left. "They just wished to speak with you."
"Very well, I would like it if you all came with me," she sighed as Mr Hudson bowed and went to inform our guests we were on our way down to see them. "Lord only knows who it could be."
At that she headed out of the room, fiddling with her hair as she tried to pin some of the golden waves back from her face. We all followed suit, just as curious as she, to know who had come. I wanted to get closer to her to ask who it could possibly be, having a feeling that the look she shared with Sarah and Johnny meant they knew.
Johnny opened the door to the morning room and we piled in to see two men, one old with a receding grey hair line and grey eyes and the other much younger with a very lazy left eye. Very unattractive to say the least and the entire group that entered made a wincing motion when they looked at him.
"Father," Kirsty smiled as the older of the two stood and engulfed his daughter in a hug.
I felt relief overcome me, knowing he was nothing more to her and I mentally kicked myself. You do not like her as more than a friend, you are relieved because he is not here to murder her. Not so sure about Crappy Eye there though. I kept one eye on him as he watched the blonde woman, and tried to listen to the conversation.
"...and I see these gentlemen are looking after you, well?" This man really cared for his daughter obviously, especially the way her refused to let her sell herself. I didn't know very many men who respected women that way and it was warming to know that even amongst all the muck and grime in London, there were men such as Mr de Farrars and Mr Drayton who genuinely cared for their daughters' well-being.
"Do I look like I am not being looked after?" She retorted with a smile as she sank down neatly onto the chair I stood behind.
"Silly question really, huh?"
Then Kirsty, turned her head, almost reluctantly to Crappy Eye and forced a smile, her body making an involuntary flinch like the rest of us did. "Mr Washington," she said politely.
"Please, we are not in the public eye, call me Maurice," he replied with a weird smile that looked more like a perverted grimace. I felt my body lurch sickeningly with the way he looked at her; she deserved far better than to be in this mans presence.
"Err, okay then," dhe stuttered somewhat taken back by this, and she glanced at Sarah. "So what can I do for you, Maurice?"
'Maurice' moved over from where he stood, rooting inside his jacket before reproducing his hand and bending down on one knee before Kirsty. The entire room simultaneously widened their eyes but none more so than Kirsty and myself. I felt Zack and Sarah staring at me but I just couldn't help it.
"Kirsty Victoria Grace de Farrars, it would make me very happy, if you would do the honour of becoming my wife."
She sat there with everyone around her silent, and staring at the ring in the mans fingers. I stared at the top of her head in shock until eventually she began to nod. "Yes," she said quietly.
I felt my breath catch in my throat and I physically could not breathe. My stomach was twisting and turning in a way it never had as my eyes, unable to tear themselves away, watched as this...hideous excuse for a man put an equally hideous excuse for a ring roughly onto her delicate hand. I gulped trying to make sense of what was going on inside of me, but coming up with nothing.
"E- excuse me," I stuttered quietly, not exactly sure if anyone heard me say it and hurried from the room. I had to get away. It was too much for me to see her with her new fiance, the man that would be her husband and father of her children. The man that's not you. I walked out of the entrance onto the street and began to walk in a direction I wasn't all that sure of.
Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Zack frowning with concern at me. I also realised I was in the park again. I stopped walking and sank down onto the grass, Zack following suit. I wanted to be left alone to wallow in whatever this was, but I knew he wouldn't leave me.
"You didn't know she had a suitor did you?" Zack asked quietly, pulling at grass.
"Why did she say yes?" I hissed, my head in my hands as I screwed my eyes shut and pulled at my hair.
"Probably because she was trying to save face," he answered. "She's the only one who can actually get back the de Farrar fortune now."
"But why him?!" I roared with that growl in my chest to go with it, startling some birds out of a tree, as I looked up at him. Even he had jumped slightly, clearly not expecting that from me. "He doesn't even deserve to share the same air as her, did you see the way he leered at her?!"
"Yeah, we all did. Johnny's not happy about it either."
"Someone as beautiful as her shouldn't be marrying, no, she shouldn't even have to look at something like that, let alone marry it," I said, my voice much quieter now and cracking slightly as I tried not to cry about it. I knew what this was now. I knew why I'd stopped breathing, why my stomach had twisted and dropped, why I felt so sick. "You're right, Zack," I gulped, trying desperately not to cry. "I'm sorry I yelled, you're right. I admit it."
"You don't have to say sorry man," Zack answered me, frowning with concern again. "But I did say didn't I?" I shouldn't have been crying but I couldn't help it.
"I feel so sick right now," I then said, pushing away tears before anybody other than Zack saw them; never mind James Sullivan making a spectacle of himself, what about that Brian Haner? I saw him crying. "I mean, it's alright for you because, you know, you and Sarah are okay. You're only breaking a few rules but this? I can't ever be with her now."
"Come on," Zack suddenly said as he stood up and brushed himself down. "They'll be wondering where we are. Kirsty didn't exactly look overjoyed about her decision when I left to come after you."
I took a deep breath, wiped my face to get rid of the evidence before standing myself and brushing any grass away from my clothes. I didn't want to go back because he would still be there and I wouldn't be held accountable for my actions were I to lash out and do something.
Silent we walked home, Zack letting me wallow in my anger, jealously and heartbreak in peace. It was a terrible mix for a werewolf, but it was one I was obviously going to have to deal with.
Currently we were out in the park walking with them. Jimmy was being rather...un-gentleman like, shall I say and chasing after what he thought was 'the biggest fucking duck' he'd ever seen. It was obvious he'd never seen a goose before, but it was entertaining the girls who had hung back with Matt and Johnny to watch him, leaving Zack and myself to continue walking.
I glanced behind us to see Kirsty smiling widely at Jimmy, her laugh soft and delicate, whilst holding onto Matt's right arm and holding her parasol over her head to keep it from the sunshine we had been graced with. "Still running after his 'duck'?" Zack chuckled and I turned back to him with a grin.
"Yeah, but it's keeping them two happy so I'm not complaining really."
Zack nodded in agreement and looked ahead of him as we passed a couple and greeted them. Then a smug look appeared on his face as he himself looked back at the others. Then he looked at me. "You're a cocky fucker, you know that?"
I frowned, wondering where this had come from. "That means what exactly?"
"Everybody knows French is the so-called most romantic language," he grinned slyly.
I pulled my pocket watch from my pocket and glanced at the time before returning it to it's rightful place. Anything not to answer Zack right now. He wasn't gonna take silence as an answer though and nudged me rather painfully in the side. If he wasn't still healing from broken ribs I would have retaliated.
"Just because it's a romantic language, doesn't mean anything," I frowned. "Stop reading too far into things, you'll make yourself sound like a woman."
"What's to read?" Zack shrugged with a sincere look on his face. He wasn't going to let up, I could tell. And if he did, it would only be a temporary break from it. "Just admit it Brian, you have a soft spot for her."
I scowled and stopped walking. Zack, not realising at first, walked a few more steps than myself before stopping and turning to look at me. Thankfully there were no people within hearing distance so when the low growl came from deep within my chest, only Zack heard it. "Unlike you, I can keep to the rules and I don't get involved." I growled out at him.
"Says you who basically told me to screw the rules the other night," Zack frowned, then he ran a hand over his face. "Just admit you like her Brian, okay?"
"No, because I don't like her, not that way. She's just...a friend," I retorted, unsure of whether she should even have been that. "Why don't you talk to Sarah? You obviously like her, so stop bugging me about things that aren't real."
"At least I'm man enough to admit when I like someone," were Zack's parting words, before he did exactly as I said and went over to Sarah. I sighed, watching as she took his arm and he smiled down at her affectionately making her smile shyly in return. Then my eyes wandered to Kirsty who was waving her arms about as she spoke about something to Matt and making him laugh.
I felt the corners of my mouth trying to tug upwards into a smile, but I denied it and drew in a deep breath. It was a failed attempt though when Kirsty broke away from Matt, her sparkling blue eyes meeting mine and a smile forming on her lips as she quickened her pace towards me. I stood where I was then offered her my arm which she took with a smile.
"You know, Mr Haner, you shall be flooded with complaints for Mr Sullivan’s behaviour today," she began, tilting her parasol to her right so to see up at my face, from underneath her hat. "It is quite inappropriate to run around exclaiming such vile words, especially in the company of women."
"Well I beg your pardon Miss de Farrars, but if my memory serves me correctly, which it does, when I saved you the night Miss Nichols was murdered you spoke more like a sailor than the elegant young lady who stands beside me now." Elegant young lady? What the fuck is that you idiot?! "Obviously, your mind does not serve you so well."
"If my mind did not serve me well would I be acting so much like my proper title would suggest and would I have spoken such beautiful French, as you put it?" I saw a sly grin on her face as she spoke this and I couldn't help but smile in defeat.
"Ah, touche," I scratched my neck sheepishly before dropping my hand and pulling at the chain my pocket watch was attached to, so to see the time once more. She laughed lightly and continued to look ahead of her at the path we were treading. I found it hard to believe she was actually only eighteen; if she hadn't told me, I would have continued to mistake her for my age.
On our walk back to Eaton Place, we made light conversation, though I liked that. Girls who talked too much annoyed me and they were most often, very boring, very dry women who tried too hard or told lies about themselves in order to seem more interesting. We'd barely been home five minutes when the butler entered the drawing room.
"There are two gentleman here, Miss de Farrars, who wish to have an audience with you," he said politely and all eyes turned on her. She frowned, glancing at Sarah and Johnny. They shared a look that none of the rest of us understood, something that passed information between the three of them without the need for words so that the rest of us couldn't hear. "I told him to wait in the morning room."
"Did they say if they wished it to be a private audience?" Kirsty enquired, having already rose from her seat.
"No miss," the Scottish man answered her politely as if she had always been here and never left. "They just wished to speak with you."
"Very well, I would like it if you all came with me," she sighed as Mr Hudson bowed and went to inform our guests we were on our way down to see them. "Lord only knows who it could be."
At that she headed out of the room, fiddling with her hair as she tried to pin some of the golden waves back from her face. We all followed suit, just as curious as she, to know who had come. I wanted to get closer to her to ask who it could possibly be, having a feeling that the look she shared with Sarah and Johnny meant they knew.
Johnny opened the door to the morning room and we piled in to see two men, one old with a receding grey hair line and grey eyes and the other much younger with a very lazy left eye. Very unattractive to say the least and the entire group that entered made a wincing motion when they looked at him.
"Father," Kirsty smiled as the older of the two stood and engulfed his daughter in a hug.
I felt relief overcome me, knowing he was nothing more to her and I mentally kicked myself. You do not like her as more than a friend, you are relieved because he is not here to murder her. Not so sure about Crappy Eye there though. I kept one eye on him as he watched the blonde woman, and tried to listen to the conversation.
"...and I see these gentlemen are looking after you, well?" This man really cared for his daughter obviously, especially the way her refused to let her sell herself. I didn't know very many men who respected women that way and it was warming to know that even amongst all the muck and grime in London, there were men such as Mr de Farrars and Mr Drayton who genuinely cared for their daughters' well-being.
"Do I look like I am not being looked after?" She retorted with a smile as she sank down neatly onto the chair I stood behind.
"Silly question really, huh?"
Then Kirsty, turned her head, almost reluctantly to Crappy Eye and forced a smile, her body making an involuntary flinch like the rest of us did. "Mr Washington," she said politely.
"Please, we are not in the public eye, call me Maurice," he replied with a weird smile that looked more like a perverted grimace. I felt my body lurch sickeningly with the way he looked at her; she deserved far better than to be in this mans presence.
"Err, okay then," dhe stuttered somewhat taken back by this, and she glanced at Sarah. "So what can I do for you, Maurice?"
'Maurice' moved over from where he stood, rooting inside his jacket before reproducing his hand and bending down on one knee before Kirsty. The entire room simultaneously widened their eyes but none more so than Kirsty and myself. I felt Zack and Sarah staring at me but I just couldn't help it.
"Kirsty Victoria Grace de Farrars, it would make me very happy, if you would do the honour of becoming my wife."
She sat there with everyone around her silent, and staring at the ring in the mans fingers. I stared at the top of her head in shock until eventually she began to nod. "Yes," she said quietly.
I felt my breath catch in my throat and I physically could not breathe. My stomach was twisting and turning in a way it never had as my eyes, unable to tear themselves away, watched as this...hideous excuse for a man put an equally hideous excuse for a ring roughly onto her delicate hand. I gulped trying to make sense of what was going on inside of me, but coming up with nothing.
"E- excuse me," I stuttered quietly, not exactly sure if anyone heard me say it and hurried from the room. I had to get away. It was too much for me to see her with her new fiance, the man that would be her husband and father of her children. The man that's not you. I walked out of the entrance onto the street and began to walk in a direction I wasn't all that sure of.
Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Zack frowning with concern at me. I also realised I was in the park again. I stopped walking and sank down onto the grass, Zack following suit. I wanted to be left alone to wallow in whatever this was, but I knew he wouldn't leave me.
"You didn't know she had a suitor did you?" Zack asked quietly, pulling at grass.
"Why did she say yes?" I hissed, my head in my hands as I screwed my eyes shut and pulled at my hair.
"Probably because she was trying to save face," he answered. "She's the only one who can actually get back the de Farrar fortune now."
"But why him?!" I roared with that growl in my chest to go with it, startling some birds out of a tree, as I looked up at him. Even he had jumped slightly, clearly not expecting that from me. "He doesn't even deserve to share the same air as her, did you see the way he leered at her?!"
"Yeah, we all did. Johnny's not happy about it either."
"Someone as beautiful as her shouldn't be marrying, no, she shouldn't even have to look at something like that, let alone marry it," I said, my voice much quieter now and cracking slightly as I tried not to cry about it. I knew what this was now. I knew why I'd stopped breathing, why my stomach had twisted and dropped, why I felt so sick. "You're right, Zack," I gulped, trying desperately not to cry. "I'm sorry I yelled, you're right. I admit it."
"You don't have to say sorry man," Zack answered me, frowning with concern again. "But I did say didn't I?" I shouldn't have been crying but I couldn't help it.
"I feel so sick right now," I then said, pushing away tears before anybody other than Zack saw them; never mind James Sullivan making a spectacle of himself, what about that Brian Haner? I saw him crying. "I mean, it's alright for you because, you know, you and Sarah are okay. You're only breaking a few rules but this? I can't ever be with her now."
"Come on," Zack suddenly said as he stood up and brushed himself down. "They'll be wondering where we are. Kirsty didn't exactly look overjoyed about her decision when I left to come after you."
I took a deep breath, wiped my face to get rid of the evidence before standing myself and brushing any grass away from my clothes. I didn't want to go back because he would still be there and I wouldn't be held accountable for my actions were I to lash out and do something.
Silent we walked home, Zack letting me wallow in my anger, jealously and heartbreak in peace. It was a terrible mix for a werewolf, but it was one I was obviously going to have to deal with.
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Originally posted on Quizilla:5th AUgust 2007