Fear Of The Dark

It was raining outside again. The first day of us living here it had been raining, then there had been two days of lovely sunshine and now it was back to this. But I couldn't care less. The rain reflected exactly how I was feeling. I'm not sure what everyone else was doing, but they were probably having fun whilst doing it, none of them being able to stand the sight of me.

I, however, had holed myself up in the library where I was currently sitting in the window seat, my knees drawn up to my chest with my arms around them and my head using the skirts of my dress as a pillow. Ever since yesterday I'd set myself apart, not wanting to see any of them after what I had done. Especially not Brian.

I pressed my fingers to the cold glass pane, following the path the droplets of rain that ran from top to bottom took. I couldn't see very much outside because of the rain and the grey skies. The street was practically deserted, save the odd carriage that rattled up and down. I felt sorry for the horse's, having to battle it out against the forces of nature just to take some couple to some place they probably didn't even need to be.

You will be one of those couples when you become Mrs Washington.

Ergh, the voice in my head. It wouldn't leave me in peace, had been following me around all day like a bad smell, reminding me constantly of what I had done. I sat straighter and brought up my left hand to look at the ring. It felt like it was burning the skin on my finger it was so foul and yet I couldn't do anything about it.

A tear, the thousandth one since I made the biggest mistake of my life, trailed it's way down my face. Quickly more followed in it's footsteps and I could barely see for the tears. I yanked the ring from my finger and lobbed it across the room with an anguished scream, hearing it hit the wall above the fire place, before falling away somewhere.

I was so busy doing that and wailing that I hadn't noticed someone slip into the room until they sat on the cushion next to my feet. I wiped my tears away - or tried to anyway - and saw Zack watching me carefully, his face bordering impassive, yet I could still see the concern in his brilliant green eyes.

"I shall refrain from asking what I was intending on asking," he said quietly, fiddling with his pocket watch. I tried, once more, to wipe away the tears and took a deep but shaky breath.

"What did you intend on asking?" I whimpered.

"Nobody will say it but we are all worried about you, miss," he explained before looking away. "Especially Brian. He's really hurting you know, because you didn't tell him you had a suitor."

"I thought I could make it go away, I only met him a week or so back. I didn't think he was going to ask that so soon, I thought I had more time to think of a way out and now the only one I have is to die!" I cried, burying my face once more.

"That's a horrible thing to say, Kirsty," Zack frowned, still fiddling with that watch of his.

"It is either marry a man I do not love and be miserable for the rest of my life or die, Zachary," I blurted without thinking and my mouth continued before I could stop it. "I will not be able to forget that I love Brian and I will be miserable for the rest of my life if I go ahead and marry Mr Washington." And then, I realised with a horrible drop from my stomach what I had said and clapped a hand over my mouth.

"Do you want me to go fetch Sarah?" Zack asked softly as he shuffled closer and rubbed my back the best he could as I burst into fresh tears.

I just shook my head in response. "She's not exactly happy with me right now, but it was a kind thought all the same."

"Are you sure? She is your best friend after all," Zack persisted and I cracked a smile at how thoughtful and sincere he was being; this was not the same man I had seen when we first met. Sarah had changed too; she wasn't so gobby. It was weird and almost unsettling in a way because it was so ingrained into the both of us.

"Zack really, it's okay. To be perfectly honest I'm just glad one of you didn't let me go insane," I went on, staring out of the window as another carriage rattled off.

"I kinda needed to talk to someone and I didn't figure the guys were the right people to talk to," he began, scratching at the back of his neck. He looked rather nervous now, his eyes not being able to settle on one thing or the other as he shifted position several times a minute, and flinching ever so often, indicting his ribs were still playing up.

I smiled at him, waiting for him to elaborate, but all the while wondering why he didn't talk to Sarah. They seemed far more friendlier towards one another now and I found it odd that he chose to speak to me instead. "You've been here 4 days, and already she has such an affect on me and I've never found myself breaking so many rules before."

Sarah then. I smiled; like he said, we'd been here 4 days but in those four days I'd come to see the glances they made secretly each other, and I'd come to see another side to Zack. He would be good for my friend and I could only hope that things would turn out well for them. Better than they would for me anyway.

"Rules?" I questioned, my eyes having dried up now; unfortunately, they were just sore.

"We're not supposed to get attached. It's the number two forbidden 'law' if you like, of being a werewolf," he said rather solemn sounding.

"What happens to you if you break the rules?" I enquired in a low voice, now more than intrigued. Brian had only reluctantly told us what they were, but I'd never thought to bug for more. Now Zack was kind of telling me without even realising.

I watched as he shrugged his shoulders and turned to look at me as he finally put the watch back in his pocket. "I don't know. Nobody has ever broken them before so we shall have to see won't we."

I sat forward now, dropping my legs to the floor so that I was closer to him. I was pointing an index finger at him and I'm not sure why, neither was he, because we both looked at it before I dropped it and looked him directly in the eyes. "I am going to do everything I can so that you don't get into trouble for breaking rules," I told him, before standing and heading across the room to the door...

[[Brian]]

I stepped inside thankful for the dry weather. The butler took my wet things before I headed upstairs to the drawing room, the sound of laughter meeting my ears. I wasn't in the best mood to be laughing but it made a welcome change to what the feeling in the house had been since our...guests...left the day before.

Stepping into the room Johnny was doing something, I'm not sure what, but it was making them all laugh. They stopped briefly to look up at me with a greeting before going back to laughing at him. A glance around the room told me Kirsty was somewhere else, as was Zack. I didn't bother asking where he would be since they probably wouldn't know, being as absorbed in Johnny's idiocy as they were.

I checked all the rooms on this floor before heading up the next flight of stairs to check there. When I arrived I could hear crying before the crying stopped to be replaced by voices. I couldn't hear specifically what they were saying but they sounded like they were in the library so I headed in that direction.

"Rules?" I heard Kirsty say and my heart griped horribly.

"We're not supposed to get attached. It's the number two forbidden 'law' if you like, of being a werewolf," Zack answered.

"What happens to you if you break the rules?"

"I don't know. Nobody has ever broken them before so we shall have to see won't we."

Butterflies erupted in my stomach and I felt sick again. Why was she with Zack? Didn't he like Sarah? And didn't she just get engaged yesterday? This was too much for me and I felt my heart breaking even more than it already was.

"I am going to do everything I can so that you don't get into trouble for breaking rules."

I grabbed the door handle and pushed open the door, and finding myself walk straight into Kirsty. Zack had a weird look on his face but I couldn't think about that right then because Kirsty and I were face to face, the pair of just staring at one another and saying nothing. I didn't know what to say really.

"Br- Brian," she stuttered nervously before looking away.

"Kirsty," I replied; my voice sounded weird, almost like a strangled cat.

"If you do that, I'll do everything I can to help you," Zack now said, appearing beside us as we put a bigger gap between us, and looking directly at her. This hurt so much; I thought love wasn't supposed to be as painful as this?

"Thank you," she said quietly as she glanced up at me before moving over to near the door and crouching down to get something. That was when I noticed her left hand was bare as she picked up the ring from the floorboards. The moment she was out of the room, my head whipped round to glare at Zack, baring my teeth and growling deeply at him.

"How the fuck could you?" I hissed, balling up my fists to prevent myself from grabbing his shirt and ramming him up against the wall.

"I didn't, and neither did she," he frowned in response. "I told her how my liking Sarah had broken rules, she asked questions and then came out with 'I'm gonna find a way to make this alright'. I wouldn't ever do that you're one of my best friends."

I softened up, knowing Zack wouldn't ever lie to me. But it didn't make me feel any better. I'd successfully managed to avoid Kirsty for the entire day and then all of a sudden we walked into each other and all those emotions I'd worked hard at pushing to the back of my mind came back.

The worst of them being that I knew she couldn't ever be mine the way Sarah would be Zack's. I would have to watch her marry Crappy Eye, and grow old and miserable for the rest of my days, whilst my best friend would be with Sarah and everything would be okay for them.

Now I knew why sticking to Forbidden Law #2 was a good idea.

It hurt too much if you didn't.