Fear Of The Dark

I lay on my bed, watching out the window at the falling rain. It always rained in London. It seemed like London's main priority was to flood everyone out. I hated the rain. It reflected my mood. Depressed, upset, dark.

The door opened, its hinges creaking slightly alerting me to the action. It was closed, and all was silent again until I felt the bed depress next to me, resulting in my body rolling slightly towards the object. I closed my eyes, knowing just by the tense silence who it was.

"Sarah, I, just, please?" He pleaded softly. I could hear the sadness in his voice, the guilt and sorrow he felt for hurting me. And it tugged at my heart.

Deep down I knew he didn't mean it. He'd panicked, just as I would have. But the syllables that rolled off his tongue so easily had pierced me harder and quicker than shards of glass. His words had become deadly venom.

And as a result I'd shunned him, and he'd been shunned by everyone.

Been made the outcast, ignored and jeered. It was breaking his spirit I know, and his physical pain was nothing to what he must be feeling emotionally surely. I felt like the meanest person alive for making him suffer, but I couldn't let it go. My mind wouldn't let me.

I'd finally overcome the fact that my background was lower than everyone else's, and he'd dragged it back up single-handedly.

"Sarah please talk to me." I refused to look at him; I could hear the tears in his voice, resulting in the salted drops to prick my eyes. I couldn't look at him. To see him cry, a grown man, a grown werewolf cry would be heart breaking. I felt like a witch for making such a strong being break down.

Feeling him lie down next to me, I felt his fingers draw a pattern on my back. By now I'd have sneered at him and thrown him out. But I couldn't. Kirsty was being a bitch to him to put it nicely, and his own friends refused to talk to him. He needed company, and even though I was upset with him, I couldn't deny him.

I literally felt him relax slightly, and he moved closer, not wanting to push his luck too far with me. I sighed softly, wishing I could let it go what he'd done. But I couldn't, and so it resulted in me hurting Zack.

"I'm sorry Sarah, pleased talk to me," he whispered, his voice quiet and thick with emotion. I brought my hand up to my eye, wiping the stray tear away.

"Leave me alone Zack, please? Just, go away," I whispered, my threat not having much meaning as I didn't want to hurt him more than I already had. I don't know why I felt like this considering he'd hurt me more than I was currently hurting him.

He moved and I instantly wished he hadn't. I hated this stupid love-hate thing I had going with him now. I loved him so much, and yet I wanted to hate every fibre of him.

"I still love you Sarah, I'm sorry about what I said. I didn't mean it. I swear, I love you," he whispered softly before leaving the room, leaving me alone with my emotions. The rain outside the window now mimicking the trails down my face.

[[ZACK]]

I moved down the hallway towards my own room, not going anywhere near anyone else. I didn't want the silence and hatred I felt from everyone. It's times like this I wish I'd stayed in America. If I'd stayed there, I wouldn't be heartbroken right now.

I wouldn't have fallen in love, I wouldn't have nearly died. And I definitely wouldn't have broken ribs.

Falling onto my bed, I sat at the edge and hung my head in shame. I can't believe I seriously thought that. Did I seriously just wish that I hadn't met the thing that meant the most to me? The girl who had taught me to smile and had finally tamed the wild, yet highly ironic beast that resided inside each of us five men?

I shook my head, disgusted in myself.

The door opened and Brian came through, and I tensed instinctively. He was annoyed with me, which resulted in arguments. Arguments I shouldn't be having due to my ribs. He sat next to me, and sighed, rubbing his hand over his face.

"You're an idiot you know that Zack?" Brian scowled at me. I bit my lip, not wanting to reply to him. Of course I was an idiot.

"You've lost the best damn thing to happen to you in a long time," he continued like this, belittling me, showing me my wrongs. Laying out everything I'd lost in front of me.

I held my head lower, so he couldn't see my face as a tear streaked down it. He was bringing back thoughts and facts I already knew. I'd lost the girl I loved. I'd broken her heart. Never mind broken, I'd shattered it then crushed the pieces into dust. I'd managed to keep my emotions mostly under control, but now Brian, my best friend, was telling me this, I couldn't help it.

My body shook as a sob left my lips. Brian stopped immediately, staring at me incredulously, as if he wasn't sure whether I just had actually given out a sob or not. Tears began to fall down my face thick and fast. The emotional pain I was having was hurting me so much. The guilt, the hurt, the sorrow at hurting her.

Images of my love crying, her beautiful cheeks stained wet with her own tears, her eyes glazed with pain. Her voice choked with sadness and upset at my words.

It all came flooding back to me.

"God Brian, I've fucked up everything," I whined out, my voice mixing in with a low sad whine reminiscent of a canine. This dog still had to lick its wounds.