You Were Always Born a Crime...

Returning to the Way residence that night could only be described by me as awkward...

Mikey was trying endlessly to get me to tell him what was wrong, but I simply ignored him. I really know how to worried a person half to death, don't I?

Mikey and I were sitting silently on his bed, Mikey staring at me with that same worried look, me still feeling like shit.

"I'm... going to go use the bathroom..." I stood up to leave, but then Mikey grabbed my arm, right on my wounds.

I cringed in pain, making a slightly loud cry out loud.

"Ah, damnit Mikey! Let go!" I tugged on my arm.

"Ryli, I'm not stupid! Something's bothering you!"

"Would you let go of my damn arm?!" I shouted, pulling on Mikey's hand, only making my arm hurt worse and worse by the second.

"Honey... Ryli... Please?"

I looked down at the floor, giving up on getting free for Mikey. "Mikey... Is it hard understanding I'm incomplete?"

Mikey's grip loosened on my arm, allowing me to get free. I stopped to look at him, the sympathetic expression that was looking back at me, then I quickly walked to the bathroom.

I sank to the floor.

'You're shit, Ryli. You know that. Absolute shit.'

I shook my head. "No," I muttered to myself. "He doesn't need to know. He doesn't need to worry about me."

'You know you could have stopped Darren.'

"No... I couldn't... He's way stronger than me..."

'That's no damn excuse Ryli. You're just trying to take your mind off it. You know you can't get away from it.'

I shut my eyes. "Shut up..."

'QUIT RUNNING AWAY.'

I covered my ears. "SHUT UP!" I shouted. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

I ripped the wallet out of my back pocket again, pulling my sleeve up.

I tore away at myself, showing no mercy. I was doing anything to get the voice in my head to shut up. Anything...

The longer I cut, the smaller the voice got. The continued, even starting on my right arm because I ran out of room on my left, until the voice stopped screaming at me.

I examined myself in the mirror again. My dark brown eyes were dialated, no doubt from the cocaine. My arms were still dripping blood. It seemed to be a very inconvient thing for me to bleed on the floor everytime I did this...

I found some toilet paper (yet again) and started to mop up the blood that hit the sink and the floor.

Then came a knock on the door, making me jump.

"Ryli... Ryli, please open the door."

"Fuck," I muttered, pulling down my sleeves and shoving the blood covered paper in the trash can.

I opened the door, trying to look as calm as possible.

Mikey pulled me into a hug. "I hope you realize that I'm not going to stop bugging you until you at least talk to me."

I didn't smile. I didn't show any emotion. I didn't even return Mikey's hug. I just stood there, reluctantly breathing.

I really don't get it. A guy like Mikey deserved so much better than me, a self abusive nobody. How did he see anything in me?

"Mikey... I... I don't think I can tell you..."

I looked down at my arm. Aw shit. There's a blood spot on it. I just hope that Mikey--

"Um, Ryli? Is your arm okay?"

SHIT!

"Um... Yeah... I just scra--"

Mikey pulled up my sleeve, revealing all the new marks that I had left on myself.

I bit my lip. God damnit. If there was one thing that I never wanted him to know about, it was this.

Mikey looked me in the eye, pulling my sleeve back down, then lifted my chin up to kiss me. For once this whole night, I didn't resist him.

After we kissed for about a minute, Mikey led me back to the bedroom where we both lied down in his bed.

Well... I got through today without having to tell him anything... but I know I'll have to soon...