Status: Writing :D
How He Saved a Life
Forget About Me... That's What I Deserve
Ellie
Blood. Sweat. Tears.
Music was pounding violently in the air while the boys performed on stage. Alex’s voice penetrated all other sounds in the room, while the instruments subtlety complimented it without being too dominating. Instead of basking in the musical beauty like I should have been, I was crying.
The pain in my gut was overwhelming. It was the only thing I could focus on. By this time the sea of red had already began flowing out of me, leaving me feeling filthy and unattractive. On top of this, I felt evil.
Finally I was feeling guilt for what I had done, but not towards the child. My conscious was mourning for Jack. When he finds out he is going to disown me like everyone else.
I didn’t deserve him.
Jack
For some reason, it felt unusually good being on stage. Affection was making me put so much more effort into my performance, thus making me enjoy it more. This new found force made the kids go crazy; the screaming grew louder than ever before. Of course Alex falsely basked in all of the beautiful women that were throwing bras at him, but I couldn’t even manage that. All I wanted to do was make her happy – not those other girls. Alex had been doing this for so long that he knew how to balance Lisa with tour girls, but I was new to this.
If this was what its like to be in love, I want an overdose.
Ellie
Jack sounded incredible tonight. During his solo in “Get down on Your Knees and Tell Me You Love Me” the guitar solo made him glow like an angel. All eyes were on him as he passionately slammed his guitar in time with Rian’s energetic drumming, including mine.
However not even that could blank out the denial.
Jack
After the final song of that set, I immediately went to see Ellie. She wouldn’t mind me looking like I had just walked out of an orgy.
“Hey Ellie,” I smiled as I approached her stiff body. Instantly I knew something was up. Before I could ask her she had already spoken.
“I’ve done a bad… bad thing.” Monotonously she spoke to me as I took my desired place beside her.
What was she on about?
Ellie
Lies were tearing my body into pieces, not just the abortion tablets. I needed him to know now so the pain of him leaving me would be less prominent. Less time with him would make it hurt less… hopefully.
“It’s dead.” I told him bluntly, not even looking him in the eye. I didn’t even want to see his reaction. When he tried to hug me I shrivelled away in remorse. I was not the victim here.
“Its ok,” He said, “These things happen, its going to be ok.” Calmly he tried to comfort me, trying to hold back his own tears. He needed to understand that this was not a miscarriage.
“You don’t get do you?” Suddenly I bellowed at him, not even realising the strength my own voice could convey. In shock he shrunk back into a stick insect, surprised at my sudden outburst. “It was me ok, I killed it!” All of the truth vomited out of my mouth at once. Jack’s face turned into a mosaic of shame and disgust.
At that point I couldn’t even cry, I had cried too many tears already. The only thing I could do was run away.
So I did.
Jack
Initially I didn’t want to run after Ellie. I was too flabbergasted at what she had done. Who would kill their own baby?
But soon after, I began to remember the reasons that probably influenced her decision. It was a result of rape, and she didn’t have anything.
The only thing she had was me.
I couldn’t let her go.
“ALEX! I’m leaving,” I shouted as I grabbed my jacket and ran through the door that Ellie had just left through. My feet had taken me so far away from Alex that I didn’t even hear his response. They needed to finish this set without me; otherwise it would be my last.
If I left Ellie, I would be defying the entire point of starting the band in the first place. I wouldn’t be able to live a lie.
More importantly, I wouldn’t be able to live without her. I needed to find her before it was too late.
Ellie
An electrified cramp left me sprawled out on the floor, cawing in pain. I couldn’t move. People walked past me, not even looking down at the filth that was lying on the floor. That was how everybody treated me.
The only one that hadn’t was Jack.
I had abused his genuine love. My lies had drawn him away from me. He wasn’t going to come back for me because he was so infuriated by me. Who wouldn’t be? I’m a disgraceful person that just deserves to die.
That was when I noticed the road sitting proudly beside me, fully capable of putting me out of my eternal misery.
It was time I saw my parents again.
Blood. Sweat. Tears.
Music was pounding violently in the air while the boys performed on stage. Alex’s voice penetrated all other sounds in the room, while the instruments subtlety complimented it without being too dominating. Instead of basking in the musical beauty like I should have been, I was crying.
The pain in my gut was overwhelming. It was the only thing I could focus on. By this time the sea of red had already began flowing out of me, leaving me feeling filthy and unattractive. On top of this, I felt evil.
Finally I was feeling guilt for what I had done, but not towards the child. My conscious was mourning for Jack. When he finds out he is going to disown me like everyone else.
I didn’t deserve him.
Jack
For some reason, it felt unusually good being on stage. Affection was making me put so much more effort into my performance, thus making me enjoy it more. This new found force made the kids go crazy; the screaming grew louder than ever before. Of course Alex falsely basked in all of the beautiful women that were throwing bras at him, but I couldn’t even manage that. All I wanted to do was make her happy – not those other girls. Alex had been doing this for so long that he knew how to balance Lisa with tour girls, but I was new to this.
If this was what its like to be in love, I want an overdose.
Ellie
Jack sounded incredible tonight. During his solo in “Get down on Your Knees and Tell Me You Love Me” the guitar solo made him glow like an angel. All eyes were on him as he passionately slammed his guitar in time with Rian’s energetic drumming, including mine.
However not even that could blank out the denial.
Jack
After the final song of that set, I immediately went to see Ellie. She wouldn’t mind me looking like I had just walked out of an orgy.
“Hey Ellie,” I smiled as I approached her stiff body. Instantly I knew something was up. Before I could ask her she had already spoken.
“I’ve done a bad… bad thing.” Monotonously she spoke to me as I took my desired place beside her.
What was she on about?
Ellie
Lies were tearing my body into pieces, not just the abortion tablets. I needed him to know now so the pain of him leaving me would be less prominent. Less time with him would make it hurt less… hopefully.
“It’s dead.” I told him bluntly, not even looking him in the eye. I didn’t even want to see his reaction. When he tried to hug me I shrivelled away in remorse. I was not the victim here.
“Its ok,” He said, “These things happen, its going to be ok.” Calmly he tried to comfort me, trying to hold back his own tears. He needed to understand that this was not a miscarriage.
“You don’t get do you?” Suddenly I bellowed at him, not even realising the strength my own voice could convey. In shock he shrunk back into a stick insect, surprised at my sudden outburst. “It was me ok, I killed it!” All of the truth vomited out of my mouth at once. Jack’s face turned into a mosaic of shame and disgust.
At that point I couldn’t even cry, I had cried too many tears already. The only thing I could do was run away.
So I did.
Jack
Initially I didn’t want to run after Ellie. I was too flabbergasted at what she had done. Who would kill their own baby?
But soon after, I began to remember the reasons that probably influenced her decision. It was a result of rape, and she didn’t have anything.
The only thing she had was me.
I couldn’t let her go.
“ALEX! I’m leaving,” I shouted as I grabbed my jacket and ran through the door that Ellie had just left through. My feet had taken me so far away from Alex that I didn’t even hear his response. They needed to finish this set without me; otherwise it would be my last.
If I left Ellie, I would be defying the entire point of starting the band in the first place. I wouldn’t be able to live a lie.
More importantly, I wouldn’t be able to live without her. I needed to find her before it was too late.
Ellie
An electrified cramp left me sprawled out on the floor, cawing in pain. I couldn’t move. People walked past me, not even looking down at the filth that was lying on the floor. That was how everybody treated me.
The only one that hadn’t was Jack.
I had abused his genuine love. My lies had drawn him away from me. He wasn’t going to come back for me because he was so infuriated by me. Who wouldn’t be? I’m a disgraceful person that just deserves to die.
That was when I noticed the road sitting proudly beside me, fully capable of putting me out of my eternal misery.
It was time I saw my parents again.