Hey Stranger, I Want You to Catch Me Like a Cold

Draco opened his door looking exceptionally dashing.

And when I say exceptionally, I mean goddamnholyfuckshitshitshithot.

That is pretty exceptional, if I do say so myself.

When the door was opened, we both paused, just staring at each other.

He was wearing a black suit, with a black vest and white button-up underneath. His hair was flopping over his blue eyes, and his expression was what you would expect a blind man who had finally seen the sun look like.

Yeah, he was that awed.

Cool.

I snapped out of my staring to embrace him. “You look super handsome, babe.”

I stepped back when he replied, “Beautiful.” He picked up my left hand, kissing it, and then trailing them up my arms.

I giggled. Yes, that’s right. Giggled. He had that much of an effect on me.

“Okay, okay. C’mon Drake, your mom will kill us if we’re late.”

“I think we should just stay up here instead,” he had reached my shoulder now, and began trailing kisses up my neck.

“As lovely as that sounds,” I started breathlessly, “I’m sure your little Death Eaties will be awfully disappointed if their friend Drake didn’t make an appearance.”

He immediately stopped kissing me and looked up, agitated. “This is not a joke, Davenport. You have to be careful what you say, and stay close to me. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Babe,” I said, hooking his arm and pulling him down the hallway, “I am who I am. I’m not going to put myself in danger, but we both know that I am hilarious and mouthy, and cannot stop the genius from flowing out of my mouth.”

He sighed and pecked my cheek as we walked. “I know. This is why I love you. But you need to think before you speak tonight, promise me.”

“I always think before I speak.”

“Promise me, Davenport.”

I sighed as we began to descend the grand staircase. “I promise. And is it that hard to call me by my first name?”

“Silvany,” he began, securing me tighter as we stepped into the ballroom, filled with dark-looking people, “I love you. Stay close, you look gorgeous and these greasy gits are already staring.”

I replied with a tinkling laugh that caused some attention to be drawn to me. “Oh, don’t worry Draco. I know how to do parties.” And I walked ahead of him to grab a flute of champagne from a nearby waiter.

“Oh no you don’t,” he caught up, pulling it out of my hands and placing the drink back on the tray.

“I can hold my alcohol perfectly well,” I pouted.

“Not tonight, love.” I watched him as he paled at an approaching sight behind him.

“Ready for your first test?” He asked, on edge. “My aunt’s coming.”

I took a deep breath. Of course, he was referring to Auntie Bellatrix, sadistic-psycho extraordinaire. It was her and some friends who tortured Neville’s parents to insanity back in the day. It was her who murdered Harry’s godfather, Sirius.

Good God give me the strength not to bitch-slap this psychopath.

After my prayer, I pecked Draco on the lips and turned to approach the approaching woman.

I found, like myself, that she decided to wear black. I also found, unlike myself, that she was a hot mess in every sense of the word.

I could tell that she was pretty, or at least used to be. But her hair was insane and her eyes were certifiable psycho. She came to stand across from us.

“Hello nephew,” she nodded and smiled (it was a crazy smile) at Draco. Then she acknowledged me. “Bloodtraitor.”

Hello Auntie Psycho-Bitch.

I didn’t say that, though. Draco should be proud of me. I just smiled tightly and said, “Aunt Bellatrix, I’ve heard so much about you.”

She gave me a snarly smile. “Good things, I hope?”

I shook my head and smiled back though the obvious tension. “No, not all all.”

“Time to mingle!” Draco exclaimed, pulling me away before dear Bella could reply.

“I think I did pretty well,” I told Draco as we walked to the other side of the room.

He sighed deeply. “Let’s just get through this, okay?”

~*~

We spent the next few hours walking around, speaking to various “Important” people (On Drake’s part) and stuffing our face(on mine). I was doing well, seeing as though I stayed by the hors d'oeuvre table instead of socializing. While I missed out on all of the gossip, I did get to appraise all of the people in the room.

To be honest, they were a creepy looking bunch. Notice I say creepy, not scary. I had seen scary people in the depths of Philly and NY back home, but these people were on some creepy Human-Centipede shit. That’s how creepy looking they were.

I had spotted Blaise, Greg, Vince, and a couple other Slytherins, but they were all doing the socializing thing too. I was just the loser by the food table.

Soon enough, after stuffing my face for hours, it was 11:45 and Draco came over to me, looking relieved, and grabbed my hand.

“We made it. How are you doing?”

I shrugged, munching on a finger sandwich. “Alright. I think I’ve gained five pounds tonight and Creepy Guy #4 over there’s giving me the Old Eyeball, but other than that, I’m peachy.”

Draco turned to glare over his shoulder and mutter, “Rosier.”

“No worries,” I patted his back. “They’ve been creeping on me the whole night, so I’m used to it. I thought that stuffing my face with vigor would turn them off, but they got even more interested and that one, #7, grabbed his crotch. It was rather disturbing.”

Draco opened his mouth angrily before he was interrupted by a sickly sweet voice.

“Draco, Master wants to see you.”

We turned to see Auntie Bella gliding up to us, a manic grin on her face.

“Oh, and bring Blondie with you. The Dark Lord would love to meet such a beauty.”

Draco visibly stiffened, and began, “Is that really necessary?”

But I butted in, “Of course it is babe, or else dear Auntie Bella wouldn’t have asked us. We all know she has your best interests at heart, right?” I smiled at the woman. “Lead the way.”

She glared at me right back, but turned to lead us into the den.

Draco grabbed my hand as we walked. “Please. For the love of Merlin, hold your tounge.”

I looked at him and caressed his cheek before replying with a grin. “Anything for you, babe.”

And I promptly grabbed my tongue with my fingers. “Thith ith gonna bhe greathch.”

He just sighed, and walked into the room before me, shaking in fear.

I took a deep breath, and followed him in.

The first thing I noticed was the smell. Like garlic, old gym socks, and sweat. I assumed it was coming from the figure in the armchair in the middle of the room, a giant snake resting on the arms. The figure was flanked on either side by Lucius, Narcissa, Bellatrix, and… Snape.

Well, that was unexpected.

As we approached I got a better look at the man who referred to himself as Lord (cough) Voldemort.

He was green. I’m not even kidding. He was a pale, slimy green. What was even more disconcerting was the fact that he had no nose.

I am not even kidding.

The dude just had a little bump, and slits instead of nostrils. The whole package was complete with red eyes and a Black Cloak of Darkness (duh duh duhhh).

Okay, I’m going to tell you this, and please do not judge me.

He wasn’t unattractive. I could tell that he had been drop-dead before he want and snaked himself up, and other that looking like a 70-year old serpent man, he wasn’t as hideous as I expected.

Anyway, back to what happened.

“Draco, how nice to see you.”

Even his voice sounded like a snake. It was deep, but totally hissy. How bizarre.

Draco bowed his head and muttered, “Dark Lord.”

He was beyond pale and trembling.

Jeesh, he was scared of this tutti fruiti?

“Any who may this beauty be?”

He addressed me. Draco, if it was even possible, got tenser.

“Silvie Davenport.” I replied for myself.

He appraised me for a moment. All eyes, other than Draco’s, were on me.

“You must be pureblood, my dear. You hold yourself like one.”

I scoffed audibly. “Bitch, it’s called holding myself like an American. “

Draco groaned as the rest of the room took a collective intake of breath.

Voldemort chuckled. “And feisty, as well. I take you to be Draco’s paramour?”

“No quite,” I replied, refusing to break eye contact. “Paramour implies that we are lovers, which we are not. I am his girlfriend.”

Remind me why I just brought up my sex life with Voldemort, Lord of the Tutti Fruities.

He gave me a creepy smile. “It puts me at ease to know this. Such a noble, stock of yours deserves much better than even the Malfoy clan. You are distantly descended from Godric Gryffindor, are you not?”

Okay, how the hell did he know that? I haven’t told anyone that. I could sense Draco giving me a surprised look from next to me.

“Distantly.”

He bowed his head in (mock?) respect. “Nobility only deserves to reproduce with nobility.”

Reproduce? Um, what?

“First off,” I said, talking with my hands because I was pissed. “You called Draco in here, so why aren’t you talking to him. Secondly, the wizarding world doesn’t have nobility, so I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, buddy. Also, you smell like stank. So, uh, take a bath. Kay?”

“Hold your tongue,” Bellatrix hissed evilly from Voldemort’s right.

“Now, now, Bella,” Voldemort replied, waving her off with a smirk on his face. “Now, Silvany, we both know that there is nobility within the wizarding world. Some of us are, ah, purer than others.”

“You know what, Voldemort?” I replied angrily, taking a step forward. Draco tried to hold me back, but I twisted myself out of his grip. “You’re right. Some of us are purer than others. For example, people like myself, Harry Potter, and Albus Dumbledore. Mainly because we’re not bigoted assholes like you all.” I spit on his feet.

Yes, you read right. I was that pissed.

Bellatrix looked ready to Avada Kedavra me.

Instead of looking pissed, Voldemort just cackled. “And what about your precious Draco?”

I stepped in front of Draco, as if to shield him. “It doesn’t matter. I love him.”

“Will you love him after he kills Albus Dumbledore, as well?”