remembrance of Ballad
Nine
I woke that morning to find Jorel beside me yet again. I smiled to myself. I wonder what is keeping him here so long? It didn't bother me at all. But It was alright for now. Maybe finally we can talk and I can figure out what really happened to us. To him that night, I know it will hurt but I know my feelings for him. I still love him.
I watched Jay for another hour sleeping. I decided to run to get breakfast someplace, I really couldn't cook so that was my only option. Jay used to cook all the time. He must have got it from his father that is an amazing cook, at least when I went there he was.
Wondering around the store in my pajamas was not exactly what I had in mind. But it would do for now. I found some already cooked breakfast food in the frozen section. Not the ideal breakfast but neither one of us would mind it.
I made my way back home to still catch Jorel asleep. He was so peaceful when he slept. I started some coffee, that should wake him up. Thankfully, I did not have to work today. Which made me happy. I did not want to go to work today. I heard some grunts and mumbles as Jorel walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.
"Good morning" All I wanted to do was smile. Instead, I turned my back and began to warm up breakfast. I handed him some coffee. the smell of it made me want some as well. Although I never liked coffee that much.
I set the plate in front of him and continued to stand across from him, watching him, taking in as much as I could before he had to leave me again. I was getting along just find without him but now that we have been in the same place for a few days I don't think I can go without seeing him again. I wonder how he feels, I wonder what is keeping him from going home, I feel we cannot speak about what happened to us. The air is so dense, you can cut it with a knife. And I hated it. I went to the counter and pulled out my drink. It looked like water, so maybe I can get away with it. I kept in a container, not the vodka bottle. I took a few sips as we where in silence. I didn't know what to say.
I ran my fingers through my hair. I needed to shower. I needed to sleep, lately it seemed I haven't been able to. Jorel hasn't said anything since he sat down and it was killing me.
"Do you want to go out tonight" He spoke up, I was caught off guard, I nodded my head and gave him a smile. I wondered where we would be going but I would worry about that later. My mind began to race. All thoughts and feelings made it's appearance inside me. Like a fast moving car it went in my mind. I watched Jorel get up and disappear out my apartment door. I finished my Vodka and continued the rest of the container in the cabinet. Who knew when he would be back, Or if he would be back at all.
When I was finished, I locked my apartment door, and headed toward the shower I wanted to scrub off these thoughts that wouldn't stop. The water was hot and it made my back arch for a moment. I let the water relax me as my mind began to slow down. When I was finished, I looked myself in the mirror, I gave a small smile, Maybe I would go and get a haircut today, My bangs where gowning in, maybe I should keep it. I began to get dressed, nothing fancy, just black baggy sweatpants and a Grey tank top. I let my hair air dry, and fell back into a much needed sleep.
I watched Jay for another hour sleeping. I decided to run to get breakfast someplace, I really couldn't cook so that was my only option. Jay used to cook all the time. He must have got it from his father that is an amazing cook, at least when I went there he was.
Wondering around the store in my pajamas was not exactly what I had in mind. But it would do for now. I found some already cooked breakfast food in the frozen section. Not the ideal breakfast but neither one of us would mind it.
I made my way back home to still catch Jorel asleep. He was so peaceful when he slept. I started some coffee, that should wake him up. Thankfully, I did not have to work today. Which made me happy. I did not want to go to work today. I heard some grunts and mumbles as Jorel walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.
"Good morning" All I wanted to do was smile. Instead, I turned my back and began to warm up breakfast. I handed him some coffee. the smell of it made me want some as well. Although I never liked coffee that much.
I set the plate in front of him and continued to stand across from him, watching him, taking in as much as I could before he had to leave me again. I was getting along just find without him but now that we have been in the same place for a few days I don't think I can go without seeing him again. I wonder how he feels, I wonder what is keeping him from going home, I feel we cannot speak about what happened to us. The air is so dense, you can cut it with a knife. And I hated it. I went to the counter and pulled out my drink. It looked like water, so maybe I can get away with it. I kept in a container, not the vodka bottle. I took a few sips as we where in silence. I didn't know what to say.
I ran my fingers through my hair. I needed to shower. I needed to sleep, lately it seemed I haven't been able to. Jorel hasn't said anything since he sat down and it was killing me.
"Do you want to go out tonight" He spoke up, I was caught off guard, I nodded my head and gave him a smile. I wondered where we would be going but I would worry about that later. My mind began to race. All thoughts and feelings made it's appearance inside me. Like a fast moving car it went in my mind. I watched Jorel get up and disappear out my apartment door. I finished my Vodka and continued the rest of the container in the cabinet. Who knew when he would be back, Or if he would be back at all.
When I was finished, I locked my apartment door, and headed toward the shower I wanted to scrub off these thoughts that wouldn't stop. The water was hot and it made my back arch for a moment. I let the water relax me as my mind began to slow down. When I was finished, I looked myself in the mirror, I gave a small smile, Maybe I would go and get a haircut today, My bangs where gowning in, maybe I should keep it. I began to get dressed, nothing fancy, just black baggy sweatpants and a Grey tank top. I let my hair air dry, and fell back into a much needed sleep.