Marriage in Ikebukuro
Chapter Sixty-One
As I walked around Sunshine 60 trying to clear my thoughts, I saw Shizuo leaning his back against a wall, smoking a cigarette. one of his hands were shoved into his pocket. while the other held onto the cigarette. His blue eyes gazed at the people walking on the sidewalk across the street and flowing cars through his blue shaded sunglasses. The wind blew through his short spiky golden hair. My heart raced as I stared at his handsome features. I was madly in love with this guy, how could I leave him? It was a hard to decision that I had to make. Either leave the guy you're in love with and live a glorious life in Paris with another guy and taking care of your child or stay here and give up your child to a stranger. I know the decision seems obvious, but to me it difficult. My brain was so scrambled at the thought that it couldn't process right. What about Shizuo? I can't just up and leave him alone. Even though it doesn't seem like it, he actually really hates being alone. That's why he's always out with other people. A girlfriend breaking up with him to move to Paris with another guy and raising their child is the harshest thing you could to a person and I'm not cruel. I took a deep breath and walked over to him. It took him awhile to notice, until I was by his side. I guess he was too lost in thought. I wouldn't dare ask what he was thinking about. He pushed his back off the wall and stared down at me, still smoking his cigarette.
"Shizu-chan...I have something to tell you...."
"What is it?" He asked.
"Taro came by my house earlier today. He was released from the hospital."
"Nani?" He asked me angrily.
He gritted his teeth and he clenched the cigarette in his fingers.
"Ya, he came by to tell that he was moving to Paris in a week."
Shizuo seemed much calmer after I said that.
"And he wants me to come with him."
"Nani?"
"He says it would be better for our child. He has family there that is willing to pay for everything, including our living expenses." I explained to him, my voice a little shaky, but I tried to hide it. I had to look away from his eyes and stare at the ground.
"Have you made a decision?"
I shook my head.
"No......." was all I could say to him.
He threw his cigarette on the ground and stepped on it with his shoe.
"I was thinking........."
I gazed back up at him.
"You should keep your child...." He said looking up at the clear blue sky.
"Nani?!?!" I asked him.
"You want me to keep him, but why?"
He continued to stare at the sky, staying silent for awhile, until he stared back into my eyes. It pierced me gently as they were filled with seriousness and determination. My heart raced again as I felt a knot in my throat. I gulped it down and continued to stare into his blue eyes.
"Shizu-chan...I have something to tell you...."
"What is it?" He asked.
"Taro came by my house earlier today. He was released from the hospital."
"Nani?" He asked me angrily.
He gritted his teeth and he clenched the cigarette in his fingers.
"Ya, he came by to tell that he was moving to Paris in a week."
Shizuo seemed much calmer after I said that.
"And he wants me to come with him."
"Nani?"
"He says it would be better for our child. He has family there that is willing to pay for everything, including our living expenses." I explained to him, my voice a little shaky, but I tried to hide it. I had to look away from his eyes and stare at the ground.
"Have you made a decision?"
I shook my head.
"No......." was all I could say to him.
He threw his cigarette on the ground and stepped on it with his shoe.
"I was thinking........."
I gazed back up at him.
"You should keep your child...." He said looking up at the clear blue sky.
"Nani?!?!" I asked him.
"You want me to keep him, but why?"
He continued to stare at the sky, staying silent for awhile, until he stared back into my eyes. It pierced me gently as they were filled with seriousness and determination. My heart raced again as I felt a knot in my throat. I gulped it down and continued to stare into his blue eyes.