It Doesn't Feel a Thing Like Falling.

"Ello Love." Jona said answering his phone too happy for my mood.

"Hey."

"Oi, what's wrong?" He asked clearly picking up on my tone of voice.

"I just, you know what? I'm glad I went on this date with Dan because, I like him. He's cool and sweet and everything Matt isn't." I said sniffling.

Ok that was a lie Matt was all those things to but at this point I didn't care.

He sighed, "What happened Hols?"

"I just want Matt to go away." I said wiping my cheeks.

He groaned, "I'll be there in a minute Holly. Unlock the door."

"Ok." I whispered before hanging up and doing just what he asked.

I changed while waiting on Jona and sat on the couch right as he walked in.

He looked at me with a sad look, "What's wrong baby?"

"Hold me." I said pouting and holding my arms out to him.

He began to laugh as he scooped me up sitting down with me in his lap. I buried my face into his shirt.

"This was so stupid Jona. Matt doesn't feel anything for me."

"Who are yeh kiddin?"

"He said us sleeping together was a mistake and he didn't want anything to change between us." I said cryng into his shirt.

"Shhh. Holly, he's juss sayin that cause he finks that's what yeh wanna here."

"I don't know. I think he meant it and you know what? I'm not going to keep doing this." I said sitting up as I wiped my now red eyes.

"Cause Dan likes me and you know what? He's a good guy and it's stupid that i'm wasting time on trying to get my best friend which is just so stupid!" I said through my tears.

"It's stupid." I whispered sniffling.

"Sweetie..." Jona said with sympathy written all over his face as he brushed my tears away.

"I'm propa sorry this is turnin out this way..."

"Then he's havin a baby. Did yeh know she's havin a boy? Yeah. And...and it's probably gonna be just like Matt and have his stupid laugh and...and his green eyes that...that are so perfect." I fumbled out as I began crying harder than I knew I had in me.

This was just everything I've hidden finally coming out. Poor Jona.

Jona looked as sad as I felt and he wrapped his arms around me letting me cry into his chest.

"I'm sorrah Holly. I'm propa sorrah. I wish I could fix everyfing for yeh." He whispered rubbing my back, "plus it might not be his baby..."

"It is. It will be because god hates me."

He chuckled, "Oh come on Hols. Look, let meh talk ta him. See what he's finkin at least."

"I don't care anymore."

"Yes, yeh do cause yeh love him sweetie and he loves yeh."

"Yeah? Then why is he having a baby with someone else and why am I going on dates?" I asked.

"Because yeh both so bloody stubborn! Don't worry love, i'm gonna try and fix this. You just need to tell him how yeh feel darlin."

"I don't blame you if you just block my number after this. I'm sorry." I said wiping my face feeling a bit embarrassed from my out burst.

He laughed, "Holly, we're friends. It's ok. Everyone needs ta cry occasionally."

I sighed and leaned against his chest.

"Just so you know, I love you a lot."

He chuckled, "I love yeh too lil bird. Want meh ta stay wif yeh?"

"You don't have to."

"I didn't ask that..."

I rolled my eyes, "I want you to, but you dont have to."

"Why is it so hard for yeh ta ask for somefin?" H asked laughing.

"I don't like to seem needy."

"Yeh neva ask fo anyfing! Yeh not normal!"

"Sorry i'm not selfish."

"Yeh too unselfish."

"Is that possible?"

"Yes it is."

I giggled, "is not."

"Hols, yeh deserve everyfing yeh want but some times yeh gotta go afta it."

"I think that applies to dreams not guy problems. I definitely would never chase after a guy. Matt or not."

"Oh my gosh you're not! How can you chase after someone when yeh neva even admitted yeh feelins?"

I shrugged and he sighed, "let's go ta bed. All this cryin has made me tired."

I laughed as he picked me up and carried me to my bed.

I fell asleep instantly and when I woke up the next morning I thought I felt better that was until I remembered everything the night before which just made me want to stay in bed all day.

"Go change Hols." Jona said and I sighed, "No. I want to stay right here."

"No. I'm not letting you do that. Go change so we can go to my place and I can get ready then were going to do something."

"No." I mumbled into my pillow.

He didn't respond and I thought that meant I won, but instead he grabbed me up and I squealed as he picked me up from the bed and sat me on my feet.

"Jona!"

"Change."

I sighed and went to my closet cursing at him under my breath.

"I can't go to your house. Matt's there." I said stepping ino my flats.

"Yeh can't avoid him Holly."

"But I want to."

He rolled his eyes and grabbed my hand pulling me from my apartment.

Once we pulled up at Jona's house I got nervous. I really was not wanting to see Matt. Although, he had no idea I was even bothered by him.

when we walked in Oli was sitting on the couch with Lee and Matty.

I sighed as Jona told me he'd be back and ran up the stairs. I sat next to Oli who was across from Matt.

"Awe yeh look cute." He said with a grin and I rolled my eyes.

Matty adjusted his hat on his head and sighed as he relaxed his arm on the back of the couch.

"Oi, how was yeh date lass night?" Lee asked and Matt's eyes landed on mine.

"Oh. It was um, good." I said looking away from Matt to Lee.

"Yeh? Gonna go out again?"

I nodded as Matt got up from the couch.

"Where yeh goin?" Oli asked.

"Im goin ta meet Morgan..."

"What?!" Lee asked quickly as I looked at Matt confused.

"Yeah I mean, if this is my kid we need ta get along."

"Matty, dude yeh got time ta do that! It might not be yours! Can't they do like a test before it pops out?!" Oli ased from beside me and I would have laughed at how he said that but Matty looked way too serious.

"Yeah well if it is, I want to do tha right fing."

I placed my face into my hand and chuckled.

Now he was into doing the right thing...

"What is it Holly?" He asked and I looked up at him.

"Nothing."

He rolled my eyes, "Yeh want ta say somefin so why dont yeh just say it?"

"I really don't. I just think you're being ridiculous. Then again, I think everything you've done lately is ridiculous."

"Right. Like yeh for instance." He said glaring at me.

I stifled a laugh, "no, no. There's a difference between ridiculous and a mistake right?"

The guys set around us in silence not daring to interrupt.

"Holly! What the fuck did yeh want meh ta call it?! It was a mistake wasn't it?! I mean, yeh sure as hell fink it is since yeh goin out on dates right aftawards!"

I stared at him as Oli slowly moved away from the couch and crept out with the others leaving me and Matt alone.

"I mean dammit Holly! When I ask yeh, yeh juss shove it away and say yeh don't know! What the fuck should I do?! I can't read yeh fuckin mind!" He said loudly.

"All you do is ask questions Matt! I don't know how you can just blame me! You never say how you feel!" I said standing up from the couch.

"Well what do yeh want me ta say Holly?! That I love yeh? That I wouldn't mind bein wif yeh? That since that night yeh all I have been able ta fank about more than I do already?! Cause yeah! Ok! All that is propa true but yeh give meh nuffin ta go off of, so am I suppose ta juss know everyfing!"

I stared at him as I crossed my arms, taking in his words that seem to hit me way too hard.

He sighed, "Forget bout it. I gotta go." He whispered as he walked past me and slammed the door on his way out.

I sighed and closed my eyes trying not to pass out from the light headed feeling I now had.

"Don't yeh dare tell me yeh don't believe he doesn't love yeh. I mean the only thing left ta do is spell it out for yeh." I heard Jona say and I opened my eyes to look at him.

"Shut up." I mumbled.

"Go afta him before he goes and gets back wif Morgan and ruins our lives!" Oli shouted and I glared at him and Lee placed his hand over his face.

"Let him. I don't care. Maybe he's right. I mean if it is his baby they should work things out..."

"Do yeh hear yehself right now?" Lee asked seriously and I looked over at him not expecting him of all people to say something.

"He doesn't love Morgan. So even if he pretends to he's goin ta be miserable. Do yeh want that?"

"...no...then again, i don't care anymore. I'm sick of being miserable myself."

"So what? You're goin ta juss push it aside? Ruin yeh friendship, date Dan? Let him date that horrible girl? All for what? Because yeh too scared ta get hurt? Aren't yeh already hurt Holly? Juss bloody tell him." Lee said crossing his arms and I couldn't believe Lee of all people was telling me this.

I bit my lip in thought until my phone began to ring and I quickly picked it up needing a distraction.

"Hello?" I said trying to calm myself.

"Well, I guess yeh true ta yeh word." Dan's voice filled my ear.

I smiled weakly, "Yeah of course."

"What's going on?"

"Oh. Sitting here at Jona's wishing I wasn't." I said and Lee sighed before walking away.

"I can fix that if you'd like."

"How?"

"Well see, I happen to know where Jona lives so I could come get you in exchange for one thing..."

"What?"

"You hang out with me today."

"That's it?"

"Yep. Not to hard to please."

I giggled, "then ok. Deal."

"Great. I'll pick you up in a few minutes."

"Alright see you then."

Once I hung up with him I noticed the guys all staring at me.

"Dan's coming to pick me up."

Oli rolled his eyes, "Great."

"Don't put this on me! Dan isn't Morgan and Matt was the one who left! Not me."

He sighed, "Both of yeh both deserve ta be miserable! Yeh give me a propa bad headache." He mumbled walking off.

"He's right Holly. Now instead of bein togetha yeh two aren't even gonna be friends." Jona said calmly.

"Don't say that..." I responded at a whisper.

"It's true and yeh know it. Fings are gonna be different now. Yeh can eitha admit it or avoid it like yeh doin now. Guess it juss comes down to if yeh ok wif not havin Matt around yeh."

I knitted my eyebrows together, "What? No. I need him to be."

"Really? Cause it seems not." He said shrugging as he walked to the kitchen.

I sighed and ran my hand into my hair.

Stressed was becoming my middle name.