It Doesn't Feel a Thing Like Falling.

"So like when are you breaking up with her?" I asked curiously as I still was sitting in his lap.

He chuckled, "Anxious are we?"

"Yes. I have things I want to say about her."

"Did she really say to stay away from me?" He asked solemnly.

"Yeah..."

"Why didn't yeh tell me that when it happened?" He asked brushing my cheek lightly.

"Because you were happy and I didn't want to ruin that just because she was jealous or what not..."

"No, yeh make me happy and I would not want ta be wif someone who is mean ta yeh." He said seriously.

"It's over now."

"If that ever happens again I don't care if I have been wif tha girl for years yeh betta tell meh. Yeh always come first ta meh Hols. Yeh know that. It's how it always has been and it won't eva change."

I nodded and laid my head against his chest and closing my eyes with a sigh. At least I had him back for a while.

"Yeh forgive meh?" He asked.

"For what?"

"For bein so shitty ta yeh these past few days." He whispered his fingers running through my hair.

"Of course I do."

"Wish yeh didn't make it so simple."

"Like you said, you always come first to me Matt."

"Yeh said yeh hated meh Holly..." he whispered and I leaned up to look at him.

"I'm sorry. I was just so upset with you. You know I don't hate you."

"The way yeh said it...fuckin' broke my heart..."

"I'm sorry. I love you." I said biting my lip as he stared at me with his brown eyes.

"It just really hurt me that you said what you did." I added.

He sighed, "I know. I'm propa sorry. I can't say it enough. I know yeh love meh though. I love yeh juss as much." He whispered cupping my face.

I nodded and he kissed my nose before I laid against his chest. His arms went around my waist as he relaxed his chin on top of my head.

"Yeh make everyfing betta wifout even tryin..." he mumbled and I closed my eyes feeling almost complete now that he was back.

"Well. We take it every thing's better now!" I heard Mrs. Nicholls say and I could picture the eye roll Matt was now giving his mother.

"Yeah mum it is..." he responded for the both of us.

"Hey, yeh gonna be here a while?" He asked me causing me to look up at him.

"Well this whole thing apparently was a hoax so no..."

"Where yeh gonna be?"

"Matt, what are you needing?"

He chuckled, "I juss need ta know where yeh gonna be afta I break up with my baby momma..."

"Matt!" I said glaring at him.

He began laughing, "ok yeh right, not funny."

"No. It isn't."

"Ok, ok. Jeez."

"I guess I'll be at my place."

"Perfect. If I'm not there in an houa she killed me."

"I'll kill her if she kills you."

"Yeh a propa good mate." He said kissing my cheek.

"I know. You don't deserve me." I said playfully as I got up from his lap.

He frowned, "I know."

I shrugged and he stood up, placing his arm around my waist.

I looked up at him and he brought his hand to my neck, his fingers tangling into my hair lightly.

"But, I love yeh." He whispered his thumb brushing my jaw and for some reason I got a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Doesn't that count for somefin?" He asked softly as he pulled me closer to him until his nose was inches from mine.

"Yeah..." I managed to get out and he kissed the corner of my mouth which made my vision go blurry.

"I'll meet yeh at yeh house in like an houa." He said calmly as he pulled away from me and I felt this weird feeling taking over that I hadn't ever felt around him.

I nodded and watched him as he pulled on his beanie and grabbed up his keys.

"Yeh leavin?" He asked and I nodded as I got myself together and yelled to my mom that we were leaving.

His hand casually found mine as we headed to my car and I couldn't help but feel a bit confused at what was taking place.

"See you soon." He said with a grin as he dropped my hand.

"Ok be careful." I stated which caused him to chuckle, "I will, love."

I got in my car with a sigh. What was going on with me?!

I quickly turned on the radio and drove home singing simply so I wouldn't think about earlier and that almost kiss I shared with my best friend.

of course out running your thoughts is like out running a train; impossible.

By the time Matt showed back up I had spent a good 30 minutes torturing myself with my over thinking. He of course just walked in which startled me from my seat.

"Chill it's juss meh." He said chuckling as he sat beside me.

"So what happened?" I asked thankful for a distraction even though he was my problem.

He shrugged, "well...there was yellin...something about how I shouldn't believe yeh because yeh juss a jealous slag who wishes...now, this was somefin I had hard to believe...that wishes she was pregnant and that yeh juss want meh for yehself." He said with a grin.

I rolled my eyes, "Yes all of that is just so true Matt. I'm sorry." I said sarcastically and he laughed, "I knew it."

"She was right though." I said and he looked over at me, "bout what?"

"I don't mind having you all to myself." I said shrugging.

He chuckled and pulled me to him, "I don't mind that eitha."

"I've missed you..." I said holding on to him.

"I've missed yeh too love. One fing it proved ta meh was I can't live wifout yeh..." he whispered.

"I would've told you that. Without me you get people knocked up."

"Oi!" He said causing me to laugh.

He smiled, "fought it was too soon for jokes?"

"Sort of is. When it isn't yours we will joke then."

"Yeh seem so sure..."

"I am."

"Oh. Yeh sayin I won't be a good dad?"

"Not at all. I think you'd be great. Just, I don't think you should test that out just yet when that bitch is the mother...plus, I just really hope it isn't yours."

"why?" He asked softly and I shrugged as I fiddled with the hole in my jeans.

"I mean it would just ruin everything you've worked hard for and this is not how I imagined your life turning out."

A grin hit his lips at that and I glared at him, " I'm serious!"

"I know, its why I love yeh. I fink yeh care more bout my life than I do."

I shrugged and he placed his fingers under my chin making me look at him, "I don't reallah eva fink bout my future. But wanna know what I always fought would happen?"

"What?"

"me and yeh gettin married. Stupid but yeh probably tha only person I could spend foreva wif and I don't know, are kids would be propa attractive I fink..."

I laughed nervously because my heart was beating out of my chest.

"Yeah...my mom always told me, well still does tell me that's going to happen..."

"Mine too..." he said laughing.

"And you're right. Our kids would be cute."

"I know. Specially if they looked like yeh." He said brushing his fingers against my cheek.

I rolled my eyes and he kissed my forehead.

"I hope it isn't my baby, Hols. Cause I want all of that wif yeh someday." He whispered and my mind went into over drive.

Why? I mean in order for that to happen wouldn't we have to like each other as more then friends? And in order to have kids don't you have to sleep together? And in order for all of this to work wouldn't we have to like love each other? I found it hard to breathe as his fingers twirled my hair.

I mean, I couldn't have feelings for him just all of a sudden.

Could I?

I forced myself off his lap so I didn't do anything stupid and he stared up at me as relaxed as when he walked in. What was wrong with him?!

"Are you staying?"

"I mean if yeh don't want meh to..."

I rolled my eyes, "Yes or no."

"Yes." He said with a grin.

"Good. Order a pizza I'm starving! Your mom promised me a dinner and I never got it so I haven't eaten all day."

"Why haven't yeh eaten all day?"

"Oli stayed the night so we didn't get up until 2."

"Oh of course." He said with a grin.

"Yep. So what do you say?"

"Alright. I assume I can do that. Cheese?"

I nodded and he pulled out his cell phone as I went to the kitchen.

I breathed in deeply as I relaxed against the counter. Damn I needed a friend that was a girl when shit like this happened.

Jona wasn't going to cut it.

"Are yeh ok?" Matt asked causing me to jump.

"Huh? Oh yeah. Sorry."

He gave me a weird look and I chuckled, "I'm fine. Just spaced out."

"In tha middle of tha kitchen?"

I nodded and he rolled his eyes, "Oh Holly...what am I goin ta do wif yeh?"

I shrugged, "Knock me up?"

"I hate yeh a bit righ' now."

I went into a fit of laughter and he shook his head.

"Yeh know in orda for meh ta knock yeh up we'd have ta have sex which...would be awkward..."

"Right. Unless there was alcohol and no lights..."

He glared at me, "Oi, yeh sayin yeh wouldn't sleep wif me unless unda those circumstances?"

"Yeah..."

"That's screwed up."

"I mean does it matter? Were we planning on it?"

He chuckled, "well no. It's good ta know tha answa ta that though."

"Matt, if this baby isn't yours I'll let you in fact, sex me up." I said placing my hands on his cheeks and his eyes went wide as I began to laugh.

"Is that a promise?" He asked with a smirk once he regained his cool back.

I nodded as I poured myself a glass of water not really going on about this stupid topic anymore.

"Well, in that case...I really hope it isn't mine." He said as the doorbell rang throughout my apartment.

"Matthew!"

He laughed as he went to the door and my heart was racing at the thought alone. This was the stupidest thing we could ever talk about and wrongly timed if you ask me.

"I'm juss sayin. Don't yeh find it odd that afta all these years we've neva doin anyfing? I mean, I'm slightly disappointed!" He said walking back in with the pizza.

I gave him a stern look and he smiled as he sat the pizza down.

"Like we've neva even kissed!"

"Because friends don't kiss."

"No, but hormonal teenagers do. Apparently we weren't normal."

"I could've told you that..." I said and he rolled his eyes.

"Have yeh eva liked me?" He asked and I almost choked on my drink.

"What?" I fumbled out.

"Have yeh eva liked me more than a friend?"

I shrugged, "I mean maybe once or twice." Which wasn't completely untrue just not accurate.

"Yeah?" he asked clearly interested as he crossed his arms.

I rolled my eyes, "Why does it matter? Did you?"

"Yeah." He said quickly and I made a face of confusion, "when?"

He shrugged, "it was just once."

"I guess it was bound to happen after ten years."

"Right..." he whispered as he focused on putting pizza on a plate.

"So Matthew, when are we going to find out if it's yours or not?" I asked changing this awkward conversation as I bit into my pizza.

"I don't know..."

"Let's say it is yours..." I said sitting up on the counter beside his plate and he looked at me, "oh humor me..." he mumbled.

"I hope it's a boy."

He laughed, "Why?"

"Because then it would look more like you! And I wouldn't hate it..."

"Don't wish that upon that kid." He said rolling his eyes.

"What? I've seen pictures of you as a baby. You were adorable." I said patting his cheek and he glared at me, "Yeah but look at me now."

"I mean I don't like that shit in your ears but you're still cute."

He rolled his eyes and I chuckled as I finished eating.

"Eitha way it's not mine."

"Oh look who's being the optimistic one now."

"Yeh fink it's too late ta start prayin?" He asked.

I chuckled, "Probably. But it's worth a shot."

"Dude, now when someone yells, 'Matt I wanna have your baby!' You can say bitch I already have one." I said and he busted out laughing.

"Too soon?" I asked chuckling.

"Yeh mental." He said through his laughter.

I smiled and hopped off the counter.

"Can we go to bed?"

He nodded as he placed the pizza box in my refrigerator and followed me to my room.

As I was changing Matt disappeared and I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth were he was ironically already doing that.

"Do you not find it odd that you don't live here, yet you have more shit here then I do?" I asked.

"Not really." he mumbled toothbrush in mouth.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed my own toothbrush and pushed him over. He glared at me and shoved me back over lightly which meant he finished first. Some times it was like being ten again with him, I swear.

He kissed my cheek and I shoved him out of the bathroom making him laugh.

"And yeh are one ta talk." He said once I walked back into my room.

"What?"

"Yeh know how many girlfriends of mine have questioned why the fuck I have girl shit in my room? Oh memba Mindy? Yeah she broke up wif meh cause she found yeh bloody bra in my closet!" He said and I went into a fit of laughter as I fell onto the bed.

"And then tryin ta say oh it's juss Holly's, doesn't make it betta."

I laughed, "I'm sorry...sort of..."

"I was juss like, fine. Go... it was a lost cause..."

I giggled as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Holly?"

"What is it now?" I asked laughing and he stared at me.

"Let me kiss yeh."

"What?" I asked wide eyed.

"Let me kiss yeh." He said calmly as if this wasn't a big deal.

"Why?"

"Cause I wanna know what it's like." He said shrugging as if this was something that happened everyday.

"Seriously?"

He nodded and I felt myself grow nervous at the thought of his lips on mine.

I breathed in and finally spoke, "Ok. On with it then..."

He smiled and leaned closer to me and I closed my eyes feeling my nerves go into full effect.

His lips hit mine slowly and I swear I stopped breathing yet I felt myself kiss him back.

His hand crept into my hair as he kissed my bottom lip. This didn't seem like just a kiss to me yet of course I didn't voice that. His hand tangled into my hair and he kissed me firmly once more before pulling away.

I opened my eyes and came in contact with his soft brown ones. He stared at me as if he couldn't believe that just happened and I felt the same way.

"I'm sorrah." He whispered and my eyebrows knitted together, "for what?"

"That was more than one kiss."

I couldn't help but to laugh even though I still felt butterflies in my stomach.

"It's ok Matt. You know...you're not that bad of a kisser." I said with a grin.

His cheeks turned red and he bit his lip, "oh...um fanks. Yeh prettah good yehself..."

I watch him tug on his hair as he stared at me, "Fuck...I'm sorrah..." he said and before I knew it his lips were back on mine.

I have to say, a make out session with Matt of all people wasn't what I had planned for the night.

Although, it wasn't something I found myself protesting either which was just as bad.

Once he kissed my lips for a final time he pulled me against his chest and wrapped his arms around me securely.

My lips were now a bit numb from his kisses and I still was finding it hard to breathe normally.

He kissed my forehead softly as we both laid there in silence probably thinking the same thing; what was that?

His fingers stroked my hair lightly as I shut my eyes trying to turn my brain off before it exploded from over thinking.

"Goodnight Holly..." he whispered and I felt myself drift to sleep.