Seventy-Nine Cents
"Click, Bang, Thump"
Lacey:
I've heard some people say that it's the traumatizing moments in our lives that we remember most distinctly. When something truly awful hits us like a ton of bricks, we'll remember every last detail until the day we die. But this isn't the case with me.
If you asked me what Eden's last words were, I could not tell you. If you asked me to list all the other people in the room other than Eden, the terrorist, and myself, I could not tell you.
I spent a good portion of all those traumatizing moments staring at the floor, not being able to bring myself to look Eden in the eye, but I honestly don't think I could even tell you what color the floor was.
The entire day is a blur to me.
The only thing I can distinctly remember is "click, bang, thump."
Click.
Bang.
Thump.
The click of the terrorist's thumb preparing his weapon, the bang of the bullet being fired, and the thump of Eden's body falling to the floor in a lifeless heap.
"Click, bang, thump."
"Click, bang, thump."
"Click, bang, thump."
I could replay that audio in my head over and over again. I could hear it in my mind a thousand times and still shudder at the thought each and every time.
And "click, bang, thump" always found a way of making it into my dreams. From the most pleasant ones to the most horrific ones, it was always there. Those damn clicks and bangs and thumps could take the form of whatever the hell they wanted. They were there when I slept just to remind me that the memory of that day would always be somewhere in the back of my mind.
In fact, that's what I was doing right before the second strangest moment of my life. I was sleeping.
In the back of my Aunt Margaret's car, I was asleep, curled up in a fetal position, using an old corduroy jacket as my pillow.
And I was dreaming about a roller coaster, of all things. Kind of an enjoyable dream at first. Just sailing through the sky in the car of some tall roller coaster. Until I heard the click. The click of the track about 10 or 15 feet in front of me snapping in half. Then came the bang. The bang of the front of the car I was in hitting the pavement. And of course, the thump. The thump was my own body hitting the ground next to the car.
That "click, bang, thump" was distinguishably the exact same "click, bang, thump" from the moment Eden died. It could just put itself into any context. It was like a demon that followed me and always fucked with my brain.
As I lay there on the pavement next to my roller coaster, I heard a honking vehicle. I assumed it was an ambulance coming to my aid. But suddenly I heard more and more honks. It sounded like dozens of vehicles were honking at me. And peculiarly, they didn't sound much like the honks an ambulance would make, and it didn't sound like they were getting any closer.
I sat up to try to get a look at the approaching vehicles, only to find that I wasn't laying on pavement next to a roller coaster, but in the back seat of Aunt Margaret's car once again. I looked up to see people in nearby cars glaring at me. They looked confused, frustrated and angry. I rubbed my eyes vigorously, trying to wake up.
"Margaret, the light's green, why aren't you-" I started to say, only to realize I was talking to myself. Where the hell was Aunt Margaret? The driver's seat was empty and the break was on. The car was holding up dozens of people behind me, who continued to honk and even shout.
Panicked, I hopped into the drivers seat, drove through the stoplight and pulled over onto the side of the road.
"Margie!?" I yelled, but I knew she wasn't in the car. I knew I was alone.
To make matters worse, I hadn't the slightest idea where I was.
I've heard some people say that it's the traumatizing moments in our lives that we remember most distinctly. When something truly awful hits us like a ton of bricks, we'll remember every last detail until the day we die. But this isn't the case with me.
If you asked me what Eden's last words were, I could not tell you. If you asked me to list all the other people in the room other than Eden, the terrorist, and myself, I could not tell you.
I spent a good portion of all those traumatizing moments staring at the floor, not being able to bring myself to look Eden in the eye, but I honestly don't think I could even tell you what color the floor was.
The entire day is a blur to me.
The only thing I can distinctly remember is "click, bang, thump."
Click.
Bang.
Thump.
The click of the terrorist's thumb preparing his weapon, the bang of the bullet being fired, and the thump of Eden's body falling to the floor in a lifeless heap.
"Click, bang, thump."
"Click, bang, thump."
"Click, bang, thump."
I could replay that audio in my head over and over again. I could hear it in my mind a thousand times and still shudder at the thought each and every time.
And "click, bang, thump" always found a way of making it into my dreams. From the most pleasant ones to the most horrific ones, it was always there. Those damn clicks and bangs and thumps could take the form of whatever the hell they wanted. They were there when I slept just to remind me that the memory of that day would always be somewhere in the back of my mind.
In fact, that's what I was doing right before the second strangest moment of my life. I was sleeping.
In the back of my Aunt Margaret's car, I was asleep, curled up in a fetal position, using an old corduroy jacket as my pillow.
And I was dreaming about a roller coaster, of all things. Kind of an enjoyable dream at first. Just sailing through the sky in the car of some tall roller coaster. Until I heard the click. The click of the track about 10 or 15 feet in front of me snapping in half. Then came the bang. The bang of the front of the car I was in hitting the pavement. And of course, the thump. The thump was my own body hitting the ground next to the car.
That "click, bang, thump" was distinguishably the exact same "click, bang, thump" from the moment Eden died. It could just put itself into any context. It was like a demon that followed me and always fucked with my brain.
As I lay there on the pavement next to my roller coaster, I heard a honking vehicle. I assumed it was an ambulance coming to my aid. But suddenly I heard more and more honks. It sounded like dozens of vehicles were honking at me. And peculiarly, they didn't sound much like the honks an ambulance would make, and it didn't sound like they were getting any closer.
I sat up to try to get a look at the approaching vehicles, only to find that I wasn't laying on pavement next to a roller coaster, but in the back seat of Aunt Margaret's car once again. I looked up to see people in nearby cars glaring at me. They looked confused, frustrated and angry. I rubbed my eyes vigorously, trying to wake up.
"Margaret, the light's green, why aren't you-" I started to say, only to realize I was talking to myself. Where the hell was Aunt Margaret? The driver's seat was empty and the break was on. The car was holding up dozens of people behind me, who continued to honk and even shout.
Panicked, I hopped into the drivers seat, drove through the stoplight and pulled over onto the side of the road.
"Margie!?" I yelled, but I knew she wasn't in the car. I knew I was alone.
To make matters worse, I hadn't the slightest idea where I was.