Never Knew the First Love's the Hardest

Larsen sighed, bouncing Peyton on her knee. The sound of baby laughter filled throughout his nursery, you’d think that he was her brother, right? Wrong. Say hello to Peyton Blake Teaford. He didn’t take his father’s last name, after all it was only a drunken one night stand, right? Wrong there too.

Ever since high school started and Larsen met Stephen, she instantly liked him. Unluckily for her, what she had wanted came true…and unfortunately left her with a child. That looked almost exactly like him. Peyton had his eyes, even the same smirk. But the sad thing is that Stephen has no idea that this was his own son. Everyday it pained her to see him walking down the hallway, laughing with all his friends and living his life so carelessly. While Larsen had to take care of THEIR son, who he had no clue about.

She was kicked out once her parents found it she was pregnant with a baby at 17. That forced her to quickly grow up and loose her childish ways. For a few days she lived with her best friend, Jess, but then the two quickly moved into an apartment big enough for the three. On the side, Larsen works two jobs, and the same with Jess. It’s hard to make it each month, sure Jess’ parents help out with food and the rent, it’s difficult regardless.

Only Jess knew who the real father was, maybe people could tell since they looked so much alike. Not even her parents knew who the father was. They didn’t even care to ask, just gave her an hour to pack everything she wanted and then got kicked out. Peyton’s about 9 months old right now, so it’d been over a year since the one night stand happened. Larsen herself couldn’t remember what happened, but Jess could tell her some things that happened. Like following Stephen into that room, the way she smelled when she walked out of the room on wobbly, unsteady legs.

The funny thing was, even if John was also one of her best friends, she didn’t tell him or plan on telling him. And that from the times she’d been at his house, not once did Stephen mention or look at her. John loved Peyton and tried to help in every way he could, and she tried not to make it seem obvious that Stephen was the father.

She pulled out her Blackberry, which luckily her parents had bought for her before they kicked her out. Now she only has to pay the bill and 15 dollars for the data plan. Figured today was the day she’d tell John, if he didn’t already have a clue. Texted that she needed to talk to him, and asked if it would be okay if she came over. Neither Larsen or Jess had work, so she asked Jess if she would come with for support in case she needed it. It was a yes, of course like she figured. Since Jess was the only one here with a car, even if both had their licenses.

After getting a baby bag ready, changing his diaper and put him in a nice outfit, the two were ready to go to John’s house. He had said yes, and that Brian and Josh were over with his brother. Not like it was out of the ordinary, they were all a tight knit group of friends. For this, though, they’d need at least some privacy. He was waiting outside when they pulled up, and he immediately jumped up and sprinted to the car. I guess you could say John’s a bit…special…

Larsen smiled a chuckled a bit and got out of the car. “Hello John..” she got Peyton out of his car seat and slumped the baby bag over her shoulder. Before she could even rest him on her hip, John snatched Peyton out of her arms and smiled at him, making the weirdest faces.

“Hewo Pey-Pey. It’s your uncle John here…but you know me by now…” he stood up, smiling like he just won the lottery, and like Larsen was going to do, rest Peyton on his hip. Also, he could act feminine at times but who’s paying attention? Obviously not her.

After they all got their stuff ready, the three best friends walked into the house, to their immediate right was Stephen, Josh and Brian all playing Black Ops, which wasn’t a surprise. Larsen sighed and followed him up the stairs, both John and Jess knew how much she liked Stephen. But lately she’s getting mixed feelings for the Gomez brothers and doesn’t know who to love and who not to. Basically, her life was a total train wreck.

From her deep thought, she almost ran into the door to John’s room since she walks faster when she’s thinking, and Jess had to quickly open the door so she wouldn’t get smacked in the face.

“Do you have an idea of what I came here to talk about?” Larsen said and bit her lip once she sat down on John’s bed, with him following suit just with Peyton laying on his chest.

John looked over at her with a serious face, and nodded a bit. “I’ve had my theories about who the father is…since they kinda look a shitload alike…” he sighed because really, when he said uncle John, he wasn’t even joking.

Larsen felt horrible,her feelings for John were rising, but she shouldn’t feel this way about her best friend. She shouldn’t, couldn’t and wouldn’t. Sighing, she put her face in her hands because she could feel herself getting worked up. Whenever this topic came up, like actually talking about who the real father is she got emotional.

“S…Stephen…” Larsen was one to cry…a lot. So it wasn’t really an unusual event. John handed Peyton over to Jess and gave her pleading eyes to leave the room so he could talk to her alone. He pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around her torso, and took her hands off her face to reveal her makeup smudging and tears running down her face.

“I…I fucked up so bad John…” Larsen looks up at him with tear filled eyes, which broke his heart. She didn’t know how much he really did love her, more than a best friend. He’d had these feelings since about…oh say middle school? Just never shared them and bottled them up. Today, he also thought was the day to reveal his feelings.

He buried his nose in her hair and lightly kissed it and started to say the big speech he has had planned out for so many years. “You didn’t fuck up at all Larsen, we were all graced with Peyton who wasn’t a mistake at all. I’m just going to come out and say my feelings…since eighth grade, I’ve always loved you. Not as a best friend, not as a sister, more than that. These feelings have been bottled up in me for four years and it feels nice actually telling you. I know you love my brother, and it makes me sad how badly he treats you. After all, you are the mother to his son...but he doesn’t know that. I’ll always be here for you, whenever you need me I’m a text or call away…and yeah…that’s it” he could feel himself blushing like mad, but felt like a huge weight was lifted off of his shoulders. A weight that shouldn’t have been there for that long. To be honest he felt a bit sick to his stomach because he knew for sure she didn’t feel the same way.

A flabbergasted Larsen sits there, the words ‘I’ve always loved you’ ringing through her brain. There had always been someone that cared about her, that loved her. She wasted all this time on loving Stephen when John had been there the whole entire time, through everything. Her crying had stopped by now and turned into a big grin, and she put her hands on top of his.

“I’m starting to realize more and more each day about how much more you mean to me than Stephen does, maybe I just loved him because he’s the father of my son…but that doesn’t matter anymore…” the now happy Larsen sat up and faced John, who was still as bright and red as ever.

Inside, he was freaking out like a little girl but on the outside he was trying to stay as calm as he could. “I know you probably aren’t looking for a boyfriend right now, but we can take this as slow as we need to, until you’re ready.” he bit his lip and stared at their hands, which he then interlocked their fingers.

Larsen nods and smiles and says “I’d like that…a lot” she wipes at her eyes and smiles a bit “better fix my face, can’t go down there looking like a zombie.” John took his thumbs and wiped away all the excess makeup and dried tears from her face and smiled.

“You would never look like a zombie, to me at least.” he said softly, because now that his heart and feelings were now in the open, the shy side of him would come out. She bit her lip, her hazel eyes glanced quickly at his lips before she sat forward and pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss, before pulling away. Both were smiling like complete idiots but it was okay with the two.

“I guess we shouldn’t keep Jess all alone with Peyton and the guys.” John chuckled a bit and stood up, stretched and waited for Larsen to get up. Without even thinking she was pressed up against his side with his arm around her waist. The two walked down the stairs and into the living room, where the game was actually paused and the guys were playing with Peyton.

“When you really take a good look at Peyton, he sorta looks like Stephen.” Brian says, laughing a bit before the whole room got silent and stared at him, and Larsen’s stomach felt queasy but John held her tighter to him in reassurance, like he almost read her mind.

“I was just saying.” Brian mumbled, picking at the hem of his beloved shorts.

“Well look at you two.” Stephen smirked, staring at John’s arm which was around her waist protectively. Before she could even say anything, not like she would’ve anyway, John shot daggers at his older brother.

“Go away Stephen.” they all just stared at him now, the room going silent once again.

“Take the stick out of your ass baby brother, God…” he rolled his eyes and picked up his controller and headphones, before resuming the game. Jess took this as her cue to get up with Peyton and the bag, and get ready to go.

“Come back to my place?” Larsen whispered up to John, biting her lip and gave him her best puppy dog eyes. Right now, Jess was probably being a better mother to Peyton than she was.

John nodded quickly and rolled his eyes over at his brother the their friends. “They may be some of my best friends but they can be asses and be annoying most of the time…” he chuckled a bit and started walking out the door to Jess’ car.

“Today went better than I planned…you’re okay with Peyton being your nephew?”

“Of course I’m okay with that, actually more than okay with that. I love this little guy with all my heart.” it was cute how much of a father he acted like, more than Stephen ever had.

“You’re too sweet…” Larsen trailed off, feeling herself get more tired and tired. It was getting dark outside, and Peyton would probably be going to bed soon, and probably hers too.

“Obviously you’re tired, just go to sleep and I’ll take care of you from there if you fall asleep in the car.” smiled down at her, because it looked like she had already fallen asleep with her head on his chest and her fist clenched around his t-shirt. Today had been different than she had expected.