Eli Krauss & the Starry Eyed Girl
disarming in a horrible kind of way
Fiona Hardwick seems to be lost. She stands among the books in the shop with a puzzled look on her face. Her fingers go the bridge of her thick reading glasses as if she is in the middle of a very important thought. She is in front of the bulletin board, peering for an inkling of hope.
The phrase “deer in headlights” is embodied in Fiona’s face. She has startlingly large blue eyes, a strange blue. It is like staring into the inky sky at midnight. The eyes are far apart from each other and between them there is a thin nose sprinkled with golden freckles. Her skin is almost transparent and so are the expressions on her face.
She looks at a plain white flyer with the word HOME printed across it in huge bold font. There is a small description underneath it: WAITRESS/WAITER NEEDED. MUST BE AT LEAST A LITTLE SMART. MUST BE EASY TO WORK WITH. AND ABOVE ALL, MUST KNOW HOW TO CARRY A FUCKING TRAY.
Fiona laughs quietly at the paper. Her laugh is a flimsy thing that carries like bell. The people in the bookshop glance at her with careful looks. She tugs on the amusing flyer until it breaks free from the board and folds it into her purse.
_____
HOME is ready. Eli has prepared for this for a long two months. Ralph did what he was supposed to do and Eli’s savings are gone and it is done. The emerald paint is not peeling anymore and the wood floors inside are dark and shiny. The mirrors behind the bar are clean and reflect all of Eli’s work and Rachel’s ideas.
He is standing in the middle of it again with his hands rigidly crossed against his chest when there is a knock from somewhere on his left. He looks up to find a woman standing at the doorway. She has long limbs and skinny legs that are accentuated by tight black pants. Eli’s eyes are immediately drawn to her chest, which bears a tee shirt with the image of a snarling wolf on it.
“Hi, I’m Fiona,” she states in her chiming voice.
Eli nods. “What are you doing here, Fiona?”
She holds up a white flyer and dangles it in the air. “I’m here about the ad left on a bulletin board.”
Eli notices that she has very strange eyes. They are disarming in a horrible kind of way. Too distant from each other. Too dark of a blue. Too much for her thin and pale face.
He looks down at the flyer.
“Uh, I’m pretty qualified for the job according to this,” Fiona states with a laugh, “I am a little smart and fairly easy to work with. And I do know how to carry a fucking tray.”
Eli stares at her with a perplexed look on his face. “What?” he asks.
Fiona’s smile fades, realizing that the man with the beard did not get her joke and her attempt to gain the job through her wit and charm has failed.
“That’s what this says,” she says and holds out the flyer to him, wildly trying to give him proof she is not just some rude woman barging in on bars.
Eli takes it and reads the print with squinted eyes. There is a faint hint of a smile on his face, Fiona notes. But then she realizes she could be mistaken; his beard is quite thick.
“I didn’t make these. Ralph did. It’s funny,” Eli says quietly and looks up again to find those alarming eyes.
“Who’s Ralph?” she questions.
“A friend,” Eli says in a somber voice.
“Are you really looking for a waitress?”
“No, I wasn’t planning on it.”
“Oh,” Fiona’s voice falters. She had had a good feeling about this flyer. That is probably one of the worst feelings in the world. Having expectations and not having them met.
“But you could make an argument and I could make an exception,” Eli says. He goes behind the bar and bends down, disappearing from Fiona’s view. He pops up with an amber bottle of beer in his hands and opens it quickly. She watches as he takes a swig of it.
“Go ahead, state your case,” he says to her in his calm voice.
Fiona tentatively steps forward. Her heeled black boots strike against the wood.
“My name is Fiona Hardwick. I go to school and I need a job,” she says.
Eli appraises her simple words.
“Okay,” he says and drinks again, “Come back tomorrow night at eight.”
Fiona smiles widely at him. Eli realizes she smiles almost exactly like Rachel smiled.
His face blanches as she walks out of the bar.
The phrase “deer in headlights” is embodied in Fiona’s face. She has startlingly large blue eyes, a strange blue. It is like staring into the inky sky at midnight. The eyes are far apart from each other and between them there is a thin nose sprinkled with golden freckles. Her skin is almost transparent and so are the expressions on her face.
She looks at a plain white flyer with the word HOME printed across it in huge bold font. There is a small description underneath it: WAITRESS/WAITER NEEDED. MUST BE AT LEAST A LITTLE SMART. MUST BE EASY TO WORK WITH. AND ABOVE ALL, MUST KNOW HOW TO CARRY A FUCKING TRAY.
Fiona laughs quietly at the paper. Her laugh is a flimsy thing that carries like bell. The people in the bookshop glance at her with careful looks. She tugs on the amusing flyer until it breaks free from the board and folds it into her purse.
_____
HOME is ready. Eli has prepared for this for a long two months. Ralph did what he was supposed to do and Eli’s savings are gone and it is done. The emerald paint is not peeling anymore and the wood floors inside are dark and shiny. The mirrors behind the bar are clean and reflect all of Eli’s work and Rachel’s ideas.
He is standing in the middle of it again with his hands rigidly crossed against his chest when there is a knock from somewhere on his left. He looks up to find a woman standing at the doorway. She has long limbs and skinny legs that are accentuated by tight black pants. Eli’s eyes are immediately drawn to her chest, which bears a tee shirt with the image of a snarling wolf on it.
“Hi, I’m Fiona,” she states in her chiming voice.
Eli nods. “What are you doing here, Fiona?”
She holds up a white flyer and dangles it in the air. “I’m here about the ad left on a bulletin board.”
Eli notices that she has very strange eyes. They are disarming in a horrible kind of way. Too distant from each other. Too dark of a blue. Too much for her thin and pale face.
He looks down at the flyer.
“Uh, I’m pretty qualified for the job according to this,” Fiona states with a laugh, “I am a little smart and fairly easy to work with. And I do know how to carry a fucking tray.”
Eli stares at her with a perplexed look on his face. “What?” he asks.
Fiona’s smile fades, realizing that the man with the beard did not get her joke and her attempt to gain the job through her wit and charm has failed.
“That’s what this says,” she says and holds out the flyer to him, wildly trying to give him proof she is not just some rude woman barging in on bars.
Eli takes it and reads the print with squinted eyes. There is a faint hint of a smile on his face, Fiona notes. But then she realizes she could be mistaken; his beard is quite thick.
“I didn’t make these. Ralph did. It’s funny,” Eli says quietly and looks up again to find those alarming eyes.
“Who’s Ralph?” she questions.
“A friend,” Eli says in a somber voice.
“Are you really looking for a waitress?”
“No, I wasn’t planning on it.”
“Oh,” Fiona’s voice falters. She had had a good feeling about this flyer. That is probably one of the worst feelings in the world. Having expectations and not having them met.
“But you could make an argument and I could make an exception,” Eli says. He goes behind the bar and bends down, disappearing from Fiona’s view. He pops up with an amber bottle of beer in his hands and opens it quickly. She watches as he takes a swig of it.
“Go ahead, state your case,” he says to her in his calm voice.
Fiona tentatively steps forward. Her heeled black boots strike against the wood.
“My name is Fiona Hardwick. I go to school and I need a job,” she says.
Eli appraises her simple words.
“Okay,” he says and drinks again, “Come back tomorrow night at eight.”
Fiona smiles widely at him. Eli realizes she smiles almost exactly like Rachel smiled.
His face blanches as she walks out of the bar.
♠ ♠ ♠
"She loves me so and this I know for sure."-Matt Weddle
HI.
last night my mom took me to sushi.
and i was like, "this is nice, we're spending time together."
And then she put her chopsticks down and
tried to have the SEX TALK with me again.
she was like, "boys will be so nice until you sleep with them,
so DON'T sleep with them."
i wanted to melt. i also couldn't stop laughing.
it's like that time i went on my uncle's motorcycle and started
uncontrollably cracking up.
because i was so horrified.
has this ever happened to you?
xo j.
p.s. comments would be SO appreciated.