Eli Krauss & the Starry Eyed Girl

Regret.

This is what Eli feels when he's lying in bed, replaying the kiss. He shouldn't have done that. It is wrong. Wrong for him to kiss another woman, even if it has been seven months since Rachel died.

Too soon.

But his desires tell him differently. She can comfort you; she can make things a little bearable, they tell him. But his head argues, You're a heartless, heartless man. Think of Rachel. Don't you remember when you said that she was the One?

But then he remembers how soft she felt and how very pink her lips were.

The regret subsides… just a little.

_____

Jake and Fiona tiptoe around each other the morning after. Jake's escorted his companion out early in the morning. It a a courtesy that is much too late in Fiona's eyes. When she steps out of the bedroom, she finds him making her her favorite breakfast. Jake looks apologetic as he hands her the waffles.

"I'm sorry. Fiona, I was really drunk."

Fiona takes the plate from his hands and sits at the breakfast table.

"I told you I don't care. You should just warn me or something if you're going to bring dates home."

"She wasn't a date. I'm not dating."

Something comes over Fiona at that moment and she finds herself saying, "You should date. I'm dating."

Jake's eyebrows go upwards a tiny bit and he says, "Oh. Well, okay."

_____

That night when Fiona walks into HOME, Eli is making drinks at the bar. She has a red stain to her cheeks as she walks past him. He says nothing, but there is a gleam in his eye. Like he's saying, "You wait till we close."

Or at least that is what Fiona wants to believe.

They hesitantly smile at each other all night. Fiona plays with her long honeyed hair and Eli tries not to stare. Her smiles fuel him, it is like a glimpse of his old life. A glimpse of Rachel and his happiness.

Brad stays with them as they put the stools on the bars and wipe down the tables. Fiona wrings her hands and lingers as she says goodbye to Brad. Eli watches from the window as she walks out with him and they hug each other goodbye. He waits two minutes and walks outside. Fiona is waiting on the bench.

She watches as he extends out his arm and invites her back in.

_____

The bar is eerily quiet as they both drink from dark bottles of beer. They haven't spoken. No words. But Eli takes out a cigarette and lights it. He takes a drag and Fiona gestures for it. He passes it to her and she put it to her lips.

"You're very pretty, you know," Eli finally says. He is watching her through the veil of smoke she has just whispered out.

"You may be the only person in the world who thinks that," Fiona replies. She knows she has strange features.

"No. Really. Not in the boring pretty way. In an interesting way. A nice way." Eli takes back the cigarette and inhales from it.

"Thank you," Fiona says and then playfully tugs on his beard, "I like this," she says.

"Uh, no you don't. I don't even like it."

"Then why do you have it?"

"I don't know anymore."

"You should shave it off then," Fiona says with a faint smile.

Eli looks at her tugged up lips and before he knows it, he is kissing her again. She smiles again against his lips. In seconds, they are stumbling to the back room. Right as Fiona is unbuttoning his jeans, she stops.

"We shouldn't," she gasps, "Too soon."

Eli rests his damp head on her bare chest. He is breathing hard. He knows she is right. She is so right. He watches her get dressed and says, "Then let's do something else."

"Like what?" Fiona says as she pulls her dress over herself.

"I've got an idea."

_____

They take Eli's car downtown and stop at a grimy diner. They talk a little and eat breakfast at 3 AM. Mostly they like being close to someone else. Fiona proves to herself that Jake is not the only one in the world. And Eli is afraid he is proving to himself that Rachel is the only one in the world.

It doesn't matter right now though. They are just two people who need company and who will soon learn the consequences of such complicated company.