Status: Active
Long Live
o1
I watched my boyfriend walking towards me, wearing the beaming smile that I had grown quite fond of. I smiled back at him faintly, his estranged twin brother crossing my mind at that moment, the black whole in my heart returning.
He was very thin, extremely so in his baggy clothes, and only a few inches taller than me at the time, his dark blonde dreads falling loosely around his face and sweat glistening on his forehead, even though it was winter. His friend, Georg, was behind him, looking vague as usual as he reached out for a hug as we greeted in our usual manner.
The three of us entered my house, cracking jokes and laughing as far as we walked.
"You owe me a glass of water; I just walked 9 blocks for you." Tom stated, still slightly out of breath from the walk to my house.
I looked at him and winked, "Get it yourself." I told him jokingly, watching his mouth fall open in a state of fake shock.
I felt guilty that he had to walk to my house again, like so many times before. It took him no less than an hour, sometimes stretching out to two, and yet he still did it for me whenever he had the chance. I expected Tom to be mad at me today, because I couldn’t go to his going away party the night before, but instead he came to visit me so we could have a movie day like he had been promising me for weeks. It was times like these when I realized that he must really love me, and that’s why I felt so bad the whole situation.
We walked down the hall of my house and stopped in front of the fridge where I served them each a glass of Coke. I handed it to Tom and watched him gulp it down hastily, quenching his thirst.
"You know what? This is better than sex!"
I started laughing at him, rolling my eyes.
"As if you would know!" I retorted. He pouted in my direction, and I stuck out my tongue. I reached out for his hand, pulling him towards my bedroom, Georg following behind us. The smell of paint filled our noses as soon as we entered the room because my room was painted white a few days before.
In the corner of my eye I can see my boyfriend and his friend’s eyes scan around the room, their eyes widening slightly. My room was messy, but I would have thought that they would have been used to it by now because Tom and I had been friends for almost 2 years before we started dating a little less than a month ago, and it crossed my mind that Tom had loved me the entire time.
Georg switched on my computer and waited for everything to load while Tom and I decided on a movie, our heads touching as we both looked down at the small collection of DVD’s in front of us.
"How about American Pie?" I suggested.
"No, we watched that at Georg’s house last week, remember?" He told me quietly, his brown eyes meeting mine for a second before looking down again.
"Hmm, The Exorcist isn’t that bad."
"You know I get scared easily!"
I giggled, taking the movie out of its case and handing it to Georg, who put the disc in the computer. I smirked at Tom, kissing his cheek. "I will protect you, baby."
Tom appreciated any affection he got from me; he glowed every time that I just looked at him. It was amazing, and he was amazing, though I didn’t always appreciate what I had in him. He looked at me, shy for a moment as we sat down on my floor, starting the movie.
I could feel Tom sneaking glances at me as the movie progressed, but as I looked at him, he looked away. I couldn’t help but wonder what was going through his mind each time I did, I always felt a bit self conscious when someone looked at me, I hated it because whenever I looked at myself, I just couldn’t see the beautiful girl that some people claimed they saw.
The thing I liked most about Tom was that he was unlike most 15 year old guys. Tom was innocent and pure; he was honest and expressive about his feelings. He was the type of guy that would talk to me on the phone for 8 hours and all we would talk about is how much he loved me and how glad he was that after all the years he had finally gotten the chance to be with me. I remembered that he had left his beautiful girlfriend to be with me.
Tom was very respectful, and when we were together he loved just to hold me and talk. Knowing that he was leaving tore him up inside, it was all he thought about. He wanted to spend every possible minute that he was still in Leipzig with me.
His hand brushed passed mine and I smiled, taking his hand into mine. He leaned against me, his cheek resting against mine. There weren’t a lot of guys out there who were happy with just that, but that’s all what Tom wanted from me, he wanted to love me in the best way he possibly could.
His nose brushed against my neck and I looked back at him, noticing that his eyes were closed. I pecked his lips softly, acknowledging the fact that he was truly hiding behind me to shield his eyes from the movie.
I continued to peck his lips throughout the film, feeling bad because I was the one who had picked the movie.
I looked over at Georg, worried that he might be feeling like the third wheel, but his eyes were glued to the screen until the very last scene, I didn’t know whether he was being nice or honestly interested in the movie, but either way, I didn’t want him to feel like he was any less my friend than he was before Tom and I happened.
By the time the movie ended, it was late afternoon and Tom and Georg had to get home. Tom had decorated my hand with I Love You’s and hearts with a permanent marker, all the while I was making fun of his "girl hands".
I walked with Tom and Georg to the front gate, walking slowly because I knew that Tom really didn’t want to leave. As we reached the gate, he looked at me sadly and reached out his arms.
"I can’t believe I am almost leaving." He whispered in my ear.
"I know." I replied, lacking the sadness in my voice that was expected. I nestled myself deep into his neck because that might have been my favorite part of his entire body.
Tom was moving to Berlin in less than a week, and in a way I was sort of relieved. I know that it was wrong of m to say, but I had spent the past 6 days with him, seeing him every day for no less than 5 hours at a time and even though it would be wrong to admit it to anyone, I was getting tired of my boyfriend, and maybe a little distance between us was good.
I wasn’t worried about Tom in a big city; I knew I could trust him. I had him wrapped around my finger and he was happy with me, and I also knew that there was no way that he could stay in Leipzig. Tom had been living with his grandmother and she was moving away in January, so Tom was moving to Berlin to live with his father at the beginning of December. Tom’s mother, Simone, also lived in Leipzig but it was commonly known that they had trouble getting along, and no one even mentioned Tom’s brother to them. Even though they were twins, they haven’t spoken in months, maybe even years.
"I will call you later, then?" Tom asked, unwillingly letting go of my body.
I smiled, "Okay, don’t forget about me."
He started to walk away, but turned and looked at me as if I was crazy. I laughed, I was sure that Tom wouldn’t forget about me, and I loved that.
The main reason I gave Tom a chance was because of the fact that he had never given up on me, and no matter how mad he got at me, or how much I hurt him, he always came back. I didn’t want to be alone, I hated it. I wanted someone who wasn’t going to leave me for a better girl whenever one simple glanced at his direction, I wanted someone who wasn’t going to leave me at all, who could love me no matter what, and at that time, Tom was that person and he was great at it.
He started to walk away, and I stood watching him, wishing against my will that it was a pale figure with dark hair that had just walked away against his will. I turned around and started to walk towards my house, the November weather making me shiver slightly.
I sighed, walking into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me before taking off my jacket, followed b the rest of my clothes.
Quickly I changed into Tom’s oversized SpongeBob hoodie and a new pair of jeans. I loosened my slightly curled red hair and placed a grey beanie on top of my head. I looked in the mirror and frowned, knowing that I could never compare to her. I could never compare to any of them.
Lost in the mirrors image, I heard a soft knock on my bedroom door, recognizing my mom’s familiar tapping.
"Charlotte, are you ready? You told me that the invitation said you have to be there at 5."
I looked down at my watch, seeing that it was already 5:15pm. I was a little late, but for once in my life, I didn’t mind that much. Even though it was supposed to be a party, it didn’t feel like it, and I really didn’t want to go. But it was for my best friend, so I had to. I sighed once again.
The car ride to my friend’s house was quiet and awkward as I made a list of everything I would rather be doing than go to this party. The closer I got, the bigger the hole in my heart got.
We pulled up in front of the house; I looked back at my mom and begged her to answer her phone when I called. I took my time walking to the front door, knocking softly. At first there was no answer, so I knocked again. I ran a hand through my hair as I heard footsteps approach the door. The door swung open and I was greeted by the warm smile of my friend’s mom as she welcomed me into her home for the thousandth time that year.
She directed me to my friend’s bedroom to put down my belongings. I walked down the hall alone, and as I looked around, I saw that most of the guests who had arrived were outside, already sitting in front of the bonfire.
I pushed open the bedroom door, coming face to face with a dark haired girl named Monique, and at that time, my biggest fear and worst enemy. I could feel my heart come to a stop in my chest. I had expected to see her, but I didn’t expect it to be so soon. I wasn’t ready.
I stared at her face; she was smiling as she greeted me. I brushed passed her, not even acknowledging her existence.
I wasn’t strong enough to face the girl that caused the gaping hole in my heart. I couldn’t look at the girl Bill Kaulitz cheated on me with only a month and a half ago.
He was very thin, extremely so in his baggy clothes, and only a few inches taller than me at the time, his dark blonde dreads falling loosely around his face and sweat glistening on his forehead, even though it was winter. His friend, Georg, was behind him, looking vague as usual as he reached out for a hug as we greeted in our usual manner.
The three of us entered my house, cracking jokes and laughing as far as we walked.
"You owe me a glass of water; I just walked 9 blocks for you." Tom stated, still slightly out of breath from the walk to my house.
I looked at him and winked, "Get it yourself." I told him jokingly, watching his mouth fall open in a state of fake shock.
I felt guilty that he had to walk to my house again, like so many times before. It took him no less than an hour, sometimes stretching out to two, and yet he still did it for me whenever he had the chance. I expected Tom to be mad at me today, because I couldn’t go to his going away party the night before, but instead he came to visit me so we could have a movie day like he had been promising me for weeks. It was times like these when I realized that he must really love me, and that’s why I felt so bad the whole situation.
We walked down the hall of my house and stopped in front of the fridge where I served them each a glass of Coke. I handed it to Tom and watched him gulp it down hastily, quenching his thirst.
"You know what? This is better than sex!"
I started laughing at him, rolling my eyes.
"As if you would know!" I retorted. He pouted in my direction, and I stuck out my tongue. I reached out for his hand, pulling him towards my bedroom, Georg following behind us. The smell of paint filled our noses as soon as we entered the room because my room was painted white a few days before.
In the corner of my eye I can see my boyfriend and his friend’s eyes scan around the room, their eyes widening slightly. My room was messy, but I would have thought that they would have been used to it by now because Tom and I had been friends for almost 2 years before we started dating a little less than a month ago, and it crossed my mind that Tom had loved me the entire time.
Georg switched on my computer and waited for everything to load while Tom and I decided on a movie, our heads touching as we both looked down at the small collection of DVD’s in front of us.
"How about American Pie?" I suggested.
"No, we watched that at Georg’s house last week, remember?" He told me quietly, his brown eyes meeting mine for a second before looking down again.
"Hmm, The Exorcist isn’t that bad."
"You know I get scared easily!"
I giggled, taking the movie out of its case and handing it to Georg, who put the disc in the computer. I smirked at Tom, kissing his cheek. "I will protect you, baby."
Tom appreciated any affection he got from me; he glowed every time that I just looked at him. It was amazing, and he was amazing, though I didn’t always appreciate what I had in him. He looked at me, shy for a moment as we sat down on my floor, starting the movie.
I could feel Tom sneaking glances at me as the movie progressed, but as I looked at him, he looked away. I couldn’t help but wonder what was going through his mind each time I did, I always felt a bit self conscious when someone looked at me, I hated it because whenever I looked at myself, I just couldn’t see the beautiful girl that some people claimed they saw.
The thing I liked most about Tom was that he was unlike most 15 year old guys. Tom was innocent and pure; he was honest and expressive about his feelings. He was the type of guy that would talk to me on the phone for 8 hours and all we would talk about is how much he loved me and how glad he was that after all the years he had finally gotten the chance to be with me. I remembered that he had left his beautiful girlfriend to be with me.
Tom was very respectful, and when we were together he loved just to hold me and talk. Knowing that he was leaving tore him up inside, it was all he thought about. He wanted to spend every possible minute that he was still in Leipzig with me.
His hand brushed passed mine and I smiled, taking his hand into mine. He leaned against me, his cheek resting against mine. There weren’t a lot of guys out there who were happy with just that, but that’s all what Tom wanted from me, he wanted to love me in the best way he possibly could.
His nose brushed against my neck and I looked back at him, noticing that his eyes were closed. I pecked his lips softly, acknowledging the fact that he was truly hiding behind me to shield his eyes from the movie.
I continued to peck his lips throughout the film, feeling bad because I was the one who had picked the movie.
I looked over at Georg, worried that he might be feeling like the third wheel, but his eyes were glued to the screen until the very last scene, I didn’t know whether he was being nice or honestly interested in the movie, but either way, I didn’t want him to feel like he was any less my friend than he was before Tom and I happened.
By the time the movie ended, it was late afternoon and Tom and Georg had to get home. Tom had decorated my hand with I Love You’s and hearts with a permanent marker, all the while I was making fun of his "girl hands".
I walked with Tom and Georg to the front gate, walking slowly because I knew that Tom really didn’t want to leave. As we reached the gate, he looked at me sadly and reached out his arms.
"I can’t believe I am almost leaving." He whispered in my ear.
"I know." I replied, lacking the sadness in my voice that was expected. I nestled myself deep into his neck because that might have been my favorite part of his entire body.
Tom was moving to Berlin in less than a week, and in a way I was sort of relieved. I know that it was wrong of m to say, but I had spent the past 6 days with him, seeing him every day for no less than 5 hours at a time and even though it would be wrong to admit it to anyone, I was getting tired of my boyfriend, and maybe a little distance between us was good.
I wasn’t worried about Tom in a big city; I knew I could trust him. I had him wrapped around my finger and he was happy with me, and I also knew that there was no way that he could stay in Leipzig. Tom had been living with his grandmother and she was moving away in January, so Tom was moving to Berlin to live with his father at the beginning of December. Tom’s mother, Simone, also lived in Leipzig but it was commonly known that they had trouble getting along, and no one even mentioned Tom’s brother to them. Even though they were twins, they haven’t spoken in months, maybe even years.
"I will call you later, then?" Tom asked, unwillingly letting go of my body.
I smiled, "Okay, don’t forget about me."
He started to walk away, but turned and looked at me as if I was crazy. I laughed, I was sure that Tom wouldn’t forget about me, and I loved that.
The main reason I gave Tom a chance was because of the fact that he had never given up on me, and no matter how mad he got at me, or how much I hurt him, he always came back. I didn’t want to be alone, I hated it. I wanted someone who wasn’t going to leave me for a better girl whenever one simple glanced at his direction, I wanted someone who wasn’t going to leave me at all, who could love me no matter what, and at that time, Tom was that person and he was great at it.
He started to walk away, and I stood watching him, wishing against my will that it was a pale figure with dark hair that had just walked away against his will. I turned around and started to walk towards my house, the November weather making me shiver slightly.
I sighed, walking into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me before taking off my jacket, followed b the rest of my clothes.
Quickly I changed into Tom’s oversized SpongeBob hoodie and a new pair of jeans. I loosened my slightly curled red hair and placed a grey beanie on top of my head. I looked in the mirror and frowned, knowing that I could never compare to her. I could never compare to any of them.
Lost in the mirrors image, I heard a soft knock on my bedroom door, recognizing my mom’s familiar tapping.
"Charlotte, are you ready? You told me that the invitation said you have to be there at 5."
I looked down at my watch, seeing that it was already 5:15pm. I was a little late, but for once in my life, I didn’t mind that much. Even though it was supposed to be a party, it didn’t feel like it, and I really didn’t want to go. But it was for my best friend, so I had to. I sighed once again.
The car ride to my friend’s house was quiet and awkward as I made a list of everything I would rather be doing than go to this party. The closer I got, the bigger the hole in my heart got.
We pulled up in front of the house; I looked back at my mom and begged her to answer her phone when I called. I took my time walking to the front door, knocking softly. At first there was no answer, so I knocked again. I ran a hand through my hair as I heard footsteps approach the door. The door swung open and I was greeted by the warm smile of my friend’s mom as she welcomed me into her home for the thousandth time that year.
She directed me to my friend’s bedroom to put down my belongings. I walked down the hall alone, and as I looked around, I saw that most of the guests who had arrived were outside, already sitting in front of the bonfire.
I pushed open the bedroom door, coming face to face with a dark haired girl named Monique, and at that time, my biggest fear and worst enemy. I could feel my heart come to a stop in my chest. I had expected to see her, but I didn’t expect it to be so soon. I wasn’t ready.
I stared at her face; she was smiling as she greeted me. I brushed passed her, not even acknowledging her existence.
I wasn’t strong enough to face the girl that caused the gaping hole in my heart. I couldn’t look at the girl Bill Kaulitz cheated on me with only a month and a half ago.
♠ ♠ ♠
=)