Status: Completed; finally.
Shooting Love in Real Time.
Nine.
Alex left last night in a hurry. He didn’t say anything to me; he just stood up and left. I heard from Jack a little later: he’d gone straight over there and hadn’t said a word to them either.
It was now just before 10am on Thursday morning. I was in class, ignoring the vibrating of my phone in my pocket. It was Marissa again, of course, trying to get me to talk to her. To explain what had happened. I still didn’t have the words to explain how last night had gotten so bad, all I knew was that it felt like the end. It felt like we had no way to turn back now and the only path left open was taking us to the end.
“Hey, what’s up?” James asked, sitting down next to me. I shrugged and turned back to the blank pad of paper in front of me, waiting for class to start so I had a reason not to talk. It somehow felt a little like his fault, but I knew it wasn’t fair to blame him. He had been an excuse, something that had allowed Alex to finally open up. “Holly, seriously, what’s happened?”
I shook my head. I didn’t have the words to explain it to Marissa, never mind anyone else. James kept pushing, of course. We still had more than five minutes before class was due to start when I finally snapped. The vibration of my phone hadn’t stopped for more than ten seconds the entire time James had been here and couldn’t cope any more.
“Alex and I broke up, okay?! I got home last night and he was sat waiting. He started an argument with me over the show last night, and we broke up. Happy?”
With that, I stood up, threw my things in my bag and walked out of the room. I pulled my phone out of my pocket on the way to my car, checking just how many missed calls and texts I had. I had nothing from Alex (shocking, right?), 10 missed calls and 5 texts telling me to pick up from Marissa, 5 calls from Jack and actually even 3 texts from John asking what had happened.
I deleted my notifications and pulled up a text to Alex.
I’m coming home now. Please don’t be there. I’m going to grab some stuff and stay with my parents for a while.
I’m at Jack’s. You stay there, I’ll stay here. I’ll be out of your hair, don’t worry.
I sighed. I had no right to stay here. This was his home, I’d just been living here.
I can’t do that. This is your place, not mine. I’m the one who left. You stay here.
I could picture the look of annoyance on his face as he received the text. I knew perfectly well that even if I left, he’d still stay at Jack’s to make the point that the house was always open to me. Neither of us was going to give in without a fight, and I knew it.
So, you’ll reply to him and not us? Call me, Hol.
Marissa. God damn, she must have stayed home with Jack and Alex. So, I was looking forward to that when I got home. She’d be over before I even got out of the car.
Holly, just stay there. The entire point was that it was for you. I don’t care who left who, I’ll stay here until I sort something else. Just let me do this. Please. Don’t run away again.
I snorted, flinging my phone on to the passenger seat. ‘Don’t run away again.’ Please. It’s not as if I’m going to up and move to the other side of the country again. While this wasn’t by any means amicable, it at least felt more mutual than last time. There also weren’t any crazy teenage hormones and mood swings to contend with.
I pulled into our driveway, and right on cue, Marissa came bounding over. I checked my phone again, a couple more texts from her and Jack and another from John. All asking me to speak to them. All asking if I was okay.
“Marissa, please, I don’t wanna talk about it,” I sighed as I grabbed my things from the car and walked toward the door.
“Well, I gathered that from Alex. He still hasn’t said a word to either of us. We just want to know you’re both okay.” I snorted. I think it was fairly clear that, no, we weren’t okay. She followed me into the kitchen as I grabbed a drink.
“If he still hasn’t said a word, how did you know he was talking to me?” I asked.
“All the guys have tried phoning and texting him. The only time he touched his phone was a text coming through. It didn’t take much to work it out.” I rolled my eyes. “He’s literally laid out on our couch, staring at his phone on the floor and not saying anything. Jack’s over there with him still, but we can’t get him to tell us what happened. Please, Holly, what the hell happened last night?”
I sighed again. I’d been the bearer of bad news once already today with Alex, I didn’t want to be the one who told all of our friends too.
“If you can’t tell us, can you at least go and talk to him? He’s miserable. Just go talk to him and tell him everything’s going to be okay. It can’t be that bad.”
“But it is that bad, Marissa. He’s not the only one who’s miserable. I’d be happy to say it’s going to be okay, but it’s not. We’re over. That’s it, done. He’ll be fine again before you know it.” She gaped at me, not quite sure what to say. I rubbed my temples, taking a breath and shutting her out for a second. Of course it’d been left to me. He couldn’t even spare me and at least tell them this. “Can I just have a little space, please? I need time to think and I can’t do that when everyone is bombarding me. John Ohh too, as I’ve noticed. Thanks for that.”
“I can’t leave you right now.”
“I’m not a flight risk, don’t worry. I’ve learned my lesson on that one.”
“That’s not what I meant. Alex is with Jack, it’s fine. Just talk to me. I want to know what happened. How this happened.” I sighed again. I felt like that’s all I’d done all day. I nodded my head toward the living room. We sat there for an hour talking over last night. I got a few more texts through in the meantime, actually replying to them this time. Marissa had clearly text Jack to tell him what had happened, so he showed up for a five minutes to check up on me. Alex had, apparently, fallen asleep on their sofa finally so Jack took it as his cue to come and check on me. I assured him that I was fine, however, in his words ‘how could I possibly be okay when Alex was over there an absolute wreck?’
I think it’s safe to say he didn’t believe me.
I let John know what had happened too. It wouldn’t have been long until the news broke to him, so I thought I’d best get a head start on it and let him know. The response was expected, asking how I was, what happened, did I need him to come visit, the usual. I told him I was okay and that I was sure Marissa and Jack would fill him in later.
I finally convinced Marissa to leave after an hour and a half, telling her to come back if Alex needed anything from here. Apparently, he had woken up when Jack got back from here and finally admitted what had happened last night after Jack said where he’d been.
I still felt numb to it all. It hadn’t quite sunk in, even telling everyone what had happened; I still didn’t feel like it had really happened. It kind of felt like it was just another argument and that he’d call me any minute and I’d apologise for flipping out and we’d be fine.
But that wasn’t going to happen.
This had been the right thing to do. The love was still there, we both knew that, but reality didn’t seem to want us to work; life just got in the way.
It was now just before 10am on Thursday morning. I was in class, ignoring the vibrating of my phone in my pocket. It was Marissa again, of course, trying to get me to talk to her. To explain what had happened. I still didn’t have the words to explain how last night had gotten so bad, all I knew was that it felt like the end. It felt like we had no way to turn back now and the only path left open was taking us to the end.
“Hey, what’s up?” James asked, sitting down next to me. I shrugged and turned back to the blank pad of paper in front of me, waiting for class to start so I had a reason not to talk. It somehow felt a little like his fault, but I knew it wasn’t fair to blame him. He had been an excuse, something that had allowed Alex to finally open up. “Holly, seriously, what’s happened?”
I shook my head. I didn’t have the words to explain it to Marissa, never mind anyone else. James kept pushing, of course. We still had more than five minutes before class was due to start when I finally snapped. The vibration of my phone hadn’t stopped for more than ten seconds the entire time James had been here and couldn’t cope any more.
“Alex and I broke up, okay?! I got home last night and he was sat waiting. He started an argument with me over the show last night, and we broke up. Happy?”
With that, I stood up, threw my things in my bag and walked out of the room. I pulled my phone out of my pocket on the way to my car, checking just how many missed calls and texts I had. I had nothing from Alex (shocking, right?), 10 missed calls and 5 texts telling me to pick up from Marissa, 5 calls from Jack and actually even 3 texts from John asking what had happened.
I deleted my notifications and pulled up a text to Alex.
I’m coming home now. Please don’t be there. I’m going to grab some stuff and stay with my parents for a while.
I’m at Jack’s. You stay there, I’ll stay here. I’ll be out of your hair, don’t worry.
I sighed. I had no right to stay here. This was his home, I’d just been living here.
I can’t do that. This is your place, not mine. I’m the one who left. You stay here.
I could picture the look of annoyance on his face as he received the text. I knew perfectly well that even if I left, he’d still stay at Jack’s to make the point that the house was always open to me. Neither of us was going to give in without a fight, and I knew it.
So, you’ll reply to him and not us? Call me, Hol.
Marissa. God damn, she must have stayed home with Jack and Alex. So, I was looking forward to that when I got home. She’d be over before I even got out of the car.
Holly, just stay there. The entire point was that it was for you. I don’t care who left who, I’ll stay here until I sort something else. Just let me do this. Please. Don’t run away again.
I snorted, flinging my phone on to the passenger seat. ‘Don’t run away again.’ Please. It’s not as if I’m going to up and move to the other side of the country again. While this wasn’t by any means amicable, it at least felt more mutual than last time. There also weren’t any crazy teenage hormones and mood swings to contend with.
I pulled into our driveway, and right on cue, Marissa came bounding over. I checked my phone again, a couple more texts from her and Jack and another from John. All asking me to speak to them. All asking if I was okay.
“Marissa, please, I don’t wanna talk about it,” I sighed as I grabbed my things from the car and walked toward the door.
“Well, I gathered that from Alex. He still hasn’t said a word to either of us. We just want to know you’re both okay.” I snorted. I think it was fairly clear that, no, we weren’t okay. She followed me into the kitchen as I grabbed a drink.
“If he still hasn’t said a word, how did you know he was talking to me?” I asked.
“All the guys have tried phoning and texting him. The only time he touched his phone was a text coming through. It didn’t take much to work it out.” I rolled my eyes. “He’s literally laid out on our couch, staring at his phone on the floor and not saying anything. Jack’s over there with him still, but we can’t get him to tell us what happened. Please, Holly, what the hell happened last night?”
I sighed again. I’d been the bearer of bad news once already today with Alex, I didn’t want to be the one who told all of our friends too.
“If you can’t tell us, can you at least go and talk to him? He’s miserable. Just go talk to him and tell him everything’s going to be okay. It can’t be that bad.”
“But it is that bad, Marissa. He’s not the only one who’s miserable. I’d be happy to say it’s going to be okay, but it’s not. We’re over. That’s it, done. He’ll be fine again before you know it.” She gaped at me, not quite sure what to say. I rubbed my temples, taking a breath and shutting her out for a second. Of course it’d been left to me. He couldn’t even spare me and at least tell them this. “Can I just have a little space, please? I need time to think and I can’t do that when everyone is bombarding me. John Ohh too, as I’ve noticed. Thanks for that.”
“I can’t leave you right now.”
“I’m not a flight risk, don’t worry. I’ve learned my lesson on that one.”
“That’s not what I meant. Alex is with Jack, it’s fine. Just talk to me. I want to know what happened. How this happened.” I sighed again. I felt like that’s all I’d done all day. I nodded my head toward the living room. We sat there for an hour talking over last night. I got a few more texts through in the meantime, actually replying to them this time. Marissa had clearly text Jack to tell him what had happened, so he showed up for a five minutes to check up on me. Alex had, apparently, fallen asleep on their sofa finally so Jack took it as his cue to come and check on me. I assured him that I was fine, however, in his words ‘how could I possibly be okay when Alex was over there an absolute wreck?’
I think it’s safe to say he didn’t believe me.
I let John know what had happened too. It wouldn’t have been long until the news broke to him, so I thought I’d best get a head start on it and let him know. The response was expected, asking how I was, what happened, did I need him to come visit, the usual. I told him I was okay and that I was sure Marissa and Jack would fill him in later.
I finally convinced Marissa to leave after an hour and a half, telling her to come back if Alex needed anything from here. Apparently, he had woken up when Jack got back from here and finally admitted what had happened last night after Jack said where he’d been.
I still felt numb to it all. It hadn’t quite sunk in, even telling everyone what had happened; I still didn’t feel like it had really happened. It kind of felt like it was just another argument and that he’d call me any minute and I’d apologise for flipping out and we’d be fine.
But that wasn’t going to happen.
This had been the right thing to do. The love was still there, we both knew that, but reality didn’t seem to want us to work; life just got in the way.