Shooting Love in Real Time.

Alex and I were turbulent, to say the least. I don't know what it was lately, but something had snapped and touring didn't help. It was the worst we'd ever been. Yeah, we'd had plenty of arguments over the past year, but didn't everybody argue? I didn't even realise there was something wrong until Marissa pointed it out. She and Jack were, of course, doing wonderfully. They never did quite have the same drama as Alex and I. Marissa was interning at some law firm in Baltimore while studying for the rest of her degree part time at the local college, where I was studying to become a doctor. She was, of course, two years ahead of me. I was only in my second year, if it hadn't been for Alex I would only be a first year, but the boy knew how to bribe and called that and my tuition fee for the year my Christmas and birthday present that year, and for the two years we'd missed - I'd countered with saying that I couldn't afford that for him, but he'd just laughed and cut me off with one of his breath-taking kisses.
Those were the good days.
Right now, I didn't know if our relationship was crashing to the ground or just hitting a few mountains in the road, those mountains being every tiny little thing either of us did at the moment. If I'm utterly honest, it scared me to death, making me cause more arguments by trying not to cause them. I was pretty much walking along a tightrope, sharks to one side and crocodiles to another; no matter which way I fell I got my head bitten off; I tried to walk straight along but I was flailing to all sides and I didn't know how much longer I could keep my balance. Pathetic metaphor, but I can't think of another way to describe it.
My first day at college was horrid. Not only did I start late, I also had the added 'Oh my God! Your name is Jasey Rae! You don't know All Time Low, do you?! Squeee!' from all the eighteen-year-old girls (along with some guys), who just wanted a famous lay. Needless to say, I filtered out the memory of Jasey Rae, becoming the opposite of the girl in High School and just being known as Holly, except to those closest to me. The lack of attention was nice. Except when I was called on to have a house party, since I was 'the only one without restrictions', then it got a little awkward to find excuses not to have one.
"Maria?" I called cautiously, aware that Jack was now home. While Jack was still my best friend, he was also still Alex's, and I didn't need him caught in the middle like every other time; I just needed Marissa. She came bounding out of the kitchen with a smile on her face. It was Tuesday morning, Jack and Alex would both be resting until at least midday to make up for the bunks they had been sleeping in for the past few weeks.
"Jasey!" She squeaked. It was always like this when Jack was around; she squealed and she grinned and she couldn't get enough of laughing - they were so ridiculously perfect for each other it hurt me to see it right now. They were so much better than Alex and I.
Then again, I think Alex and I had more drama to build our insecurities on than Jack and Marissa ever would. She cocked her head to the side when she saw I wasn't grinning as widely as she was.
"Again?" She asked, knowing fine well I had been the one who had started last night's argument without needing to be told. It was always me. At least that's what it felt like. I smiled sadly. She knew it was rarely even Alex doing something wrong, it was me being a bit, well, psycho. I was irrational lately and there wasn't even a cause to it. I didn't understand where it had appeared from and, apparently, neither did anyone else.
"Yeah, because he didn't tell me he was going to be late. I guess the upside is this one was founded on something other than him being drunk and ringing me. Remember when I found that cute?" Marissa rolled her eyes. I knew she disapproved of how I was acting, hell I disapproved of how I was acting.
"Come on, we'll do an hour or two of shopping before the boys wake up. Buy Alex some breakfast to say sorry," she declared. I smiled, this girl had the best ideas.
No wonder she and Jack worked so well.