Shooting Love in Real Time.

Alex was still there when I woke up the next day, his half-eaten toast in one hand and slouched against the arm of the sofa. I stood up slowly, my head pounding still from making a fool of myself the night before, tip-toeing to the kitchen for a glass of water. The guys had made an absolute mess in the kitchen; there were pots and half-eaten food all over. I chuckled to myself and grabbed a fresh glass of water.
“What time is it?” Alex asked groggily behind me.
“I couldn’t begin to tell you. I’ve just woken up.” I hopped onto the counter, offering my glass of water to Alex, who took it gratefully. “Did you have fun?”
“Yeah, though I don’t quite know how you got so drunk so fast,” he laughed. I shrugged, grinning sheepishly.
“I thought you were ignoring me and I just- well, I felt really insecure and lonely. So, I just kept refilling instead of talking and I think you saw how that ended.”
“Yeah, Jack and I could barely get you into the cab,” he laughed. Well, that solves the mystery of who in the world managed to drag me into the taxi with Marissa. He set the glass down on the counter next to me. “Are you feeling okay now, though?”
“Kind of,” I shrugged. He stared at me, trying to get me to go on. I scrunched up my face and decided it was now or never. If I could tell anyone, I could tell Alex. “I thought I’d lost you. For good. And it got me thinking about what life would be like without you.” Alex opened his mouth to interrupt, but I carried on. “I know, I know, you’ll always be there for me, but it’s not the same. This isn’t what I want anymore.” His face fell and he took half a step back away from me.
“You mean, like, us..?”
“I mean, like, I don’t want us to be friends. I can’t just be your friend, Alex, and it’s killing me. I didn’t realise until last night just what this was doing to me.” I wanted to cry talking about it, but I held firm.
“I told you I’d give you space.” I stared at him blankly for a second, realising that he didn’t get it. He didn’t understand that what was killing me wasn’t him still being my friend, it was that he was only my friend now; that I missed him every moment and I didn’t know what to do about it.
“I don’t want space, Alex.” I reached out my hand and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him closer to me. “Don’t you get it?” I asked softly.
“I think I’m starting to.” He reached his hand up to my neck and pulled me in, kissing me softly. I felt the pain start to slip away, holding on to him tightly, reminding myself that this was how it felt to be happy; that all I’d needed was time and the guts to make myself right to let myself love him the way he deserved to be loved.
A wolf whistle ripped out from the door to the hallway, making me jump and pull away from Alex.
“You ass!” I shrieked, throwing a bread roll at Jack’s head (the closest, non-lethal thing to hand), who just laughed and jumped out of the way.
“Stop making out in my kitchen and make me some breakfast, I’m dying!” He laughed as I hopped down from the counter. I was still in my dress from last night, hair all over and probably with smudged make up all over my face.
“Let’s go get breakfast, my head hurts too much to cook,” I told him. “I’m gonna go get changed. Get Marissa up and we’ll head out.” I smiled at Alex, before running across the street and getting changed.
The next couple of hours passed in a blur of laughter and coffee, all four of us making jokes and acting like nothing had happened in the last two months to cause any concern for any of us. We arrived back at Marissa’s and piled out of the car, still laughing over God only knows what.
“I’m going to go back to sleep,” Jack told us. Marissa nodded, agreeing that she needed a little more sleep before she could face the day. The two of them left Alex and I outside, both glancing back at us for a second before closing their door.
“So, uh, what now?” Alex asked, shifting his weight from one foot to another. I smiled at him. He was still trying to give me space if I needed it. I crept up onto my tip toes and kissed him softly.
“Now we go home,” I replied.
“Really?”
“Yes, really,” I laughed. “Let’s go back to our home, lay on our sofa, watch bad TV and talk trash about everyone we’ve ever met.” Alex grinned, pulling me in for another kiss.
“I love you, Jasey Rae.”
“I love you too, Alex Gaskarth.”