Innocence

A week later, I find myself waiting in line at the health clinic by myself. For nearly two weeks Matt and I, we’ve kept my supposed pregnancy secret. I’m still not sure if I’m actually pregnant. I’ve been spotting a little and my stomach’s been awfully crampy, and the test was positive.

“Next!” the cranky woman behind the counter shouts out impatiently. I shuffle up to the desk.

“Hi. Yeah, I need to see someone today,” I say.

“For what?” she asks.

“I think I'm pregnant,” I say. She looks at me and nods. She types something into her computer and pulls out a clipboard from the pile sitting next to her. She hands it to me.

“Fill this out and bring it back to me,” she says. I take the clipboard and walk away.

I sit back down and look at the five-page questionnaire that’s tacked to the top of the clipboard. Some of the questions are simple, name, date of birth, reason why you’re here etc. But the last section takes up two pages. It’s all about your primary care physician and insurance information. Reading this scares me shitless. I’ve never in my life possessed insurance and my primary care doctor, is a child's doctor. I scribble down an explanation as to why I don't have a normal doctor. I walk back up the front desk and hand the receptionist the clipboard.

“All right, they’ll call you in soon,” she tells me. “Sit back down until we call your name.”

“Thank you,” I say. I walk back sit down.

“Maci Caldwell!” a nurse shouts out. I jump up and look around. I find the nurse and follow her back.

“All right, let’s get your height and weight,” she says. I step out of my shoes and step on the scale. The nurse fiddles with the scale and takes it down. I step off the scale and stand up against the wall. She measures my height and then nods.

“Okay, let’s go to the exam room now,” she tells me. She shows meI to the nearest open exam room. Once inside, she takes my pulse, heart rate and blood pressure. She leaves me alone. Fifteen minutes later, the doctor walks into the room with the clipboard.

“Hi,” she says. “How’s it going? I’m Dr. Yung. I work in the OB- GYN department upstairs. I hear you think you’re pregnant,” she says, sitting down on the spinning chair.

“Hi,” I repeat back anxiously. “Yeah, I think I am.”

“Well, how do you know?” she asks.

“I took a home pregnancy test and it came out positive,” I say with a nod.

“Hm. Well, it was probably correct, but we’ll run a blood test to confirm,” she says.

“Okay,” I say weakly.

“When did you start?” the doctor asks.

“Excuse me?” I ask.

“I need to know for the records, when did you start having sex?” she asks again.

“About six maybe seven weeks ago,” I say.

“Oh,” she says. The doctor spends another half hour asking me a ton of questions about my life. If I wear a seatbelt, which I do. If I drink milk, I drink enough. If I drive, obviously, I do! If I smoke, which I don't. I listen carefully to everything. The questioning goes on and I listen and respond carefully. Dr. Mason gives me her card and soon brings in the nurse to take my blood.

“Ready?” the nurse asks. I nod. She pushes the needle into my arm and blood drips down into the tube. I close my eyes and wish to be in another place. I just want my answer. Am I pregnant or not?

An hour later I’m sitting in my mini cooper I'm driving to Matt's apartment in the city. I’m glad I went to the health clinic, even though it was annoying to have to answer all the doctor’s questions. I just want to get this whole thing straightened out.

My phone goes off and I recognize the number. It’s Johnny.

“Hello?” I ask, trying to keep my eyes on the road.

“Hey Maci! What’s going on?” he asks.

“Nothing much,” I say. “How about you?”

“Just got off work about to head to the gym. Are you home?” he asks.

“No, I’m going to a friend's house.” I lie he doesn't know anything about me and Matt yet.

“Oh,” he says. “Well, dad asked me to call and ask if you wanna come to dinner?” he asks.

“Sure,” I say.

“All right, awesome! I can pick you up at mom's!” he says.

“Okay. At seven...I kind of want to hang with my friend for a bit." I tell him.

“Yeah, sure, I’ll be at mom's at seven sharp.” he tells me.

“Sounds good!” I say. “See you then!”

“Yeah, see you!” he says happily.

I close my phone and turn into Matt's apartment complex.

An hour passes by, of Matt and I talking and laughing. Then it's time for me, to go home for Johnny. I drive home in record time and sigh, I put a tube dress on, and brush my hair quickly. I then open the door to my older brother, He’s wearing a black hoodie and dark blue jeans. To be honest, he looks like a rockstar. He drives us to dad's, and suddenly i'm with my true family. My dad and grandpa, and all of A7x.

A few hours later, we're all sat around the dinner table laughing and being a true family, my dad's new wife made, green-bean casserole, ham, and mashed potatoes with almonds inside. Matt can't keep his eyes off me.

I don’t say anything, I just eat quietly, ignoring the family who's aimlessly chatting away about their week, Matt doesn't talk either, unless spoken too. But his eyes are still on me, even when talking.

After dinner we all sit there watching Comedy Central, laughing along with the comedians and their audience. We spend the rest of the night on that couch, hardly ever moving from that spot. I wind up spending the night at my dad's.

That next morning, I’m the first one up. I find my phone and head into the bathroom. I see that I have one unread message. I dial my number for my voicemail. After going through the automated system, I listen to the message that I know will change the rest of my life.

“Hey, this message is for Maci Caldwell. It’s Dr. Yung from Huntington Beach Health clinic. I know we just did the blood test yesterday morning, but the sample was sent to the lab and I have your results back. It’s just like you confirmed with the home test. You are pregnant. I’d like to see you in my office in about two weeks or less. You should take care of yourself for the sake of your baby. If you don’t, well, both you and your baby will pay the consequences. So please call me back so we can arrange an appointment to figure this all out,” she says. She leaves her number and ends the call.

“Wow,” I say. I sit on the toilet for another few minutes taking this all in. It’s just like I thought. I’m pregnant. Now what am I going to do?

I stand up and walk back out to the couch where the father of my child lies there fast asleep. I sit next to the couch near his face. His breathing is relaxed. He seems at peace. I look at him and wonder what kind of dad he'll be.

I can’t even think straight right now. I just keep staring at his face. I think about everything that’s happened and everything that’s going to happen in the next few months. It scares the living shit out of me. I’m going to be a teen mother and I’m far from prepared for it, but at least Matthew wants to back me up.